Picking up chicks at gigs!

[carlos840]

First, let it be known that if this is not an acceptable thread, please delete it!
If it is acceptable lets try not to make it unacceptable!


I gig with my function band on average three times a week!
Pretty much every single time there are a few pissed chicks who spend the whole gig staring at me, wink at me non stop during "sex on fire" and try to come and talk to me during tear down!

What do i usually do?

Nothing! If they really insist i tell them i have a girlfriend (i dont), otherwise, i just packup, ignore them and go home!

Why?

Well i just cant help but feel really unattracted to the kind of girl who is going to get pissed as hell and hit on random band members!
First, im sober (never drink when i play) and dealing with drunks is a pain!
Secondly, i cant help but think that she probably does that every weekend to every bass player she sees and that really really doesnt interest me!

My best mate thinks im a freak!

I just cant make myself be attracted to random drunk stumbling girls!

What do you guys do in that situation? Remorseless predator or honorable gentleman?


PS: i dont have anything against taking phone numbers though and do quite often!

[tom once dead]

I guess it depends on if I'm drunk or not, and how good looking the chicks in question are.

edit: Also, for me age is an issue as well. We play a lot of AA gigs.

[bassybill]

Assuming you're totally sober (you're driving, right?), then the utility of the female in question can be calculated using the following formula:

U = At/(d_c + d_max)

where U is the utility value, A is attractiveness on the standardised "I'd hit it" scale, t is the length of time since you last picked up a woman at a gig, d_c is the current drunkenness of the woman and d_max is how much worse they're likely to get, based on how quickly they consumed alcohol in the last 15 minutes before the bar closed.

For low values of U, you need to also divide by the age gap between you and the woman under consideration in order to minimise forces of repulsion when the sun rises the following day. But for larger values of U, age gap can be safely ignored. In that case, just pack them in the car with the rest of your equipment and head home.

[sneha1965]

Brilliant!!!

[bassybill]

Thanks, man! I tried to keep it simple because the overly complex versions of the calculation are too difficult for a bassist who's just played a gig. I'm currently working on an iPhone app which will allow compensation for things like how loud the woman is singing when you leave the premises, how easy it is to wake up your wife (based on what your wife will have drunk at home while you were out on the gig), whether you can make out in the vehicle somewhere on the way home without unpacking your bass equipment, whether said making out could be done outside the vehicle if you have insufficient space inside (this involves some meteorological factors), personal levels of guilt (this includes taking account of how far it is to give the drunk chick a ride to her own home afterwards), and so on. It's very complicated.

[sneha1965]

You're the man!

[bassybill]

I'll let you all know when the app's available. At the moment it has a glitch that returns dangerously high utility values when the drunk chick has a boyfriend with some martial arts expertise. I'm planning on fixing the issue as soon as I get home from the hospital.

[staindbass]

if you dont desire random sex, its ok. remind me to put sex on fire in our set i have been doing this band stuff for awhile, sometimes girls act like they want to have sex so thier friends will see them talking to a band member, (so they appear cool) and sometimes they do it to get in the next show for free on the guestlist. i find about 1/4 of the girls that want to meet me are actually interested in sex. hopefully your percentage is higher johnny a . staind

[L-A]

Hey, Bassybill, isn't it a little rude to make this thread a done gem before we're at half of the first page?

[knumbskull]

that's some good equating

[slaps76]

So...you don't act on the girls hitting on you because you're afraid they're the "type" that hang out at bars and get drunk, and the "type" that hit on random band members, and does it ever weekend.

That's weak. Sounds like you're lacking the confidence around the ladies and are making up some excuses. Get out of the bar scene and go play the church circuit bro.

[MakiSupaStar]

Tap it. Tap them all repeatedly for as long as you can. Quantity not quality.

[Quickie]

Countless times. We had a 24 hour a day studio for over a year. This was in the 80's. I can't even begin to tell you how many girls came and went over that year. That was just so much innocent fun.

[jonathan_matos5]

given that i haven't played a gig in about 5 months. no

[tastybasslines]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Tap it. Tap them all repeatedly for as long as you can. Quantity not quality.

This is the essence of true man.

[ManuelJG]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Tap it. Tap them all repeatedly for as long as you can. Quantity not quality.

Pure wisdom

[Papa Dangerous]

Eat em up, beat em up, just don't wake em up when you need to be out

[NateS]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Tap it. Tap them all repeatedly for as long as you can. Quantity not quality.

hear here!

Originally Posted by bassybill

Assuming you're totally sober (you're driving, right?), then the utility of the female in question can be calculated using the following formula:

U = At/(d_c + d_max)

where U is the utility value, A is attractiveness on the standardised "I'd hit it" scale, t is the length of time since you last picked up a woman at a gig, d_c is the current drunkenness of the woman and d_max is how much worse they're likely to get, based on how quickly they consumed alcohol in the last 15 minutes before the bar closed.

For low values of U, you need to also divide by the age gap between you and the woman under consideration in order to minimise forces of repulsion when the sun rises the following day. But for larger values of U, age gap can be safely ignored. In that case, just pack them in the car with the rest of your equipment and head home.

You are a genius. Wish i could sig this entire post.

Originally Posted by bassybill

I'll let you all know when the app's available. At the moment it has a glitch that returns dangerously high utility values when the drunk chick has a boyfriend with some martial arts expertise. I'm planning on fixing the issue as soon as I get home from the hospital.

i see what you did there

[rr5025]

Originally Posted by carlos840

First, let it be known that if this is not an acceptable thread, please delete it!
If it is acceptable lets try not to make it unacceptable!


I gig with my function band on average three times a week!
Pretty much every single time there are a few pissed chicks who spend the whole gig staring at me, wink at me non stop during "sex on fire" and try to come and talk to me during tear down!

What do i usually do?

Nothing! If they really insist i tell them i have a girlfriend (i dont), otherwise, i just packup, ignore them and go home!

Why?

Well i just cant help but feel really unattracted to the kind of girl who is going to get pissed as hell and hit on random band members!
First, im sober (never drink when i play) and dealing with drunks is a pain!
Secondly, i cant help but think that she probably does that every weekend to every bass player she sees and that really really doesnt interest me!

My best mate thinks im a freak!

I just cant make myself be attracted to random drunk stumbling girls!

What do you guys do in that situation? Remorseless predator or honorable gentleman?


PS: i dont have anything against taking phone numbers though and do quite often!

[Selta]

Not my thing at all.