Porn In The Woods

[tastybasslines]

I was thinking to myself how porn is so easily accessible these days, and it reminded me of how hard it was to get porn back when I was younger...

We spent ALOT of time outside (no interwebs) and would go to the woods or hills to play or kill rattlesnakes and we would come across an old Playboy or Penthouse completely soaked but dried up just sitting there, or a page here or there - it was so rewarding to find something....it brings back great memories for me and the fun we all had back then...

[MatticusMania]

Porn in the woods? Um, you didnt happen to find a video camera up in azusa canyon did you?

[MJ5150]

You must have lived by me back in the day. I remember that too.

-Mike

[bassrique]

There's nothing like your first waterlogged woods porn. Good times. [I'm being serious.]

[tastybasslines]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Porn in the woods? Um, you didnt happen to find a video camera up in azusa canyon did you?

hahaha - you lost one there? That would SUCK!!

[Kwesi]

I'ma youngin' but I found my very own waterlogged dirty mag in the back of a van taking some elementary school kids on a field trip. I was in middle school at the time and that... was a very good day

[bassteban]

*completely soaked*
[awkward+shocked+gonna vom smilie]
There was a time when that thought wouldn't neccesarily conjure up other, disturbing thoughts, but now that I'm all grown up...

[jonathan_matos5]

i am just relieved that the thread isn't about some kind of side project of the OP.

[UncleFluffy]

Old railway storage shed was where I located my first porn stash.

[Skitch it!]

Originally Posted by Skitch it!

Another as a young boy, whilst walking back to my grandmothers after kicking around with my cousin, I found a page torn from a pron magazine. I thought I'd save it so put it into my pocket for future reference. When we got to my grandmothers I realised a corner was sticking out of my pocket, so quickly tried to push it back in. My father witnessed this and thought he'd find out what I was hiding. He pulled this two pager out of my pocket in front of the whole family as they were sat down for dinner and unfolded it in front of everyone, I didn't know where to look.

I was caught out big time as a lad with this from 'The most embarrassing mistake in your life?' thread, certainly not the most embarrassing, but definitely a crimson moment ; )

[cheezewiz]

LOL! I remember searching my ENTIRE house for a Playboy, because my buddy told me there was NO WAY my dad didn't have one SOMEWHERE. Never did find one.

[ShredderMaximus]

Originally Posted by cheezewiz

LOL! I remember searching my ENTIRE house for a Playboy, because my buddy told me there was NO WAY my dad didn't have one SOMEWHERE. Never did find one.

I found my dads stash when I was a kid.
Parents caught on when they found rolling chair tracks in carpet leading from my room, down the hallway into their room, into their closet and stopped in front of shelf where package in question was kept..... Ninja skills weren't fully developed yet....

[steve f]

Found my dad's stash in his dresser drawer.... right next to his gun.

[Ziltoid]

I found my dad stash a bit young haha, I was like 9.

[burk48237]

I still think one of the best Simpsons ever was when Bart found his dads stash, and all the dirty pictures cut out. So Bart set up a Bachelor pad in the tree house complete with Hot Tub, James Caan to hang out with and Miles Davis Records so he could "score chicks".

[Mark Wilson]

As a kid, we always had "forts".
They were always just cleared part of the woods near by.

So, we found some porn stashed under a pylon. Bone dry. Glorious day of my childhood.

[MakiSupaStar]

My dad had one lame Playboy. I did however have an extensive National Geographic collection. About 4 volumes with exactly 6 boobs in them. One was an african mother with huge breasts sagging past her hips. She had a baby in her arms and another one hiding behind her knees. She looked to be about 40, but she was actually 20. There wasn't much to work with but I used it.

The other four boobs were of asian women of various ages bathing in a hot spring in Japan. Only one of them was anywhere near attractive, but her elbow was actually blocking the boob with the best nipple angle. So all you got was this back ground, kind of blurry nipple that was kind of at the angle shying away from the camera. There were a couple of obscure nipples on other women in the background (not sure entirely if one of them was an actual nipple, but I'm going to my grave with the belief that it was legit) The best nipple shot was of what looked to be the sexy asian chick's 80 something year old mother. It was tough, but with a little cross-eyed action you could blur the wrinkles away and actually imagine a little cleavage. Took a lot of practice but I got good at it.

Other than that, my dad had Herb Alperts Tijuana Brass Band's album 'Whipped Cream and Other Delights with this cover.



I actually used to listen to the album pretending to really love the music. Actually it really grew on me, but I was really just soaking up enough material for my memory bank for when I would retire to the restroom.

But my porn horizon never really expanding until when I was in the sixth grade. My buddy Tim had an other brother than literally had giant box with what seemed to be a treasure chestfull of a magazine called 'Taboo'. This was the first time I actually saw things you can now see on the internet. They were tastefully shot, and since it was the seventies, the breasts and everything else was just pure natural beauty. Don't get me wrong these girls were doing everything, and they were doing it right, but they looked like these magical goddesses of smut, and I simply couldn't get enough of them . I believe those bathing Japanese chicks, Whipped Cream and Other Delights, and those ladies of Taboo shaped what is now my obsession for sexy, well-endowed asian ladies and tracks with dirty horns.

[shadowtippy]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

My dad had one lame Playboy. I did however have an extensive National Geographic collection. About 4 volumes with exactly 6 boobs in them. One was an african mother with huge breasts sagging past her hips. She had a baby in her arms and another one hiding behind her knees. She looked to be about 40, but she was actually 20. There wasn't much to work with but I used it.

The other four boobs were of asian women of various ages bathing in a hot spring in Japan. Only one of them was anywhere near attractive, but her elbow was actually blocking the boob with the best nipple angle. So all you got was this back ground, kind of blurry nipple that was kind of at the angle shying away from the camera. There were a couple of obscure nipples on other women in the background (not sure entirely if one of them was an actual nipple, but I'm going to my grave with the belief that it was legit) The best nipple shot was of what looked to be the sexy asian chick's 80 something year old mother. It was tough, but with a little cross-eyed action you could blur the wrinkles away and actually imagine a little cleavage. Took a lot of practice but I got good at it.

Other than that, my dad had Herb Alperts Tijuana Brass Band's album 'Whipped Cream and Other Delights with this cover.



I actually used to listen to the album pretending to really love the music. Actually it really grew on me, but I was really just soaking up enough material for my memory bank for when I would retire to the restroom.

But my porn horizon never really expanding until when I was in the sixth grade. My buddy Tim had an other brother than literally had giant box with what seemed to be a treasure chestfull of a magazine called 'Taboo'. This was the first time I actually saw things you can now see on the internet. They were tastefully shot, and since it was the seventies, the breasts and everything else was just pure natural beauty. Don't get me wrong these girls were doing everything, and they were doing it right, but they looked like these magical goddesses of smut, and I simply couldn't get enough of them . I believe those bathing Japanese chicks, Whipped Cream and Other Delights, and those ladies of Taboo shaped what is now my obsession for sexy, well-endowed asian ladies and tracks with dirty horns.

You, sir, are a sick man. I mean that in the nicest sort of way. My admiration is boundless.

[pica]

My next door neighbor and best friend who happened to be a girl found her dads collection of porn on BetaMax tape. I remember watching those with her with our mouths gasped open. I think we were 11 or 12.

[RS]

Before the internet and as a kid, porn was a rare treasure. You would dive to the bottom of the ocean for the chance of some side boob. Staying up late watching some terrible edited movies on network TV because you hoped for a split second glimpse of T&A. Those were the days.

I can't imagine being a parent in today's world where your 7 year old could (by accident, at home, at any hour) see some totally depraved, extreme HD live action smut that might scar a healthy adult, much less a child, for life.