A Question For The White Folks.......

[Phalex]

Relic's Lamentation (Great name for a band there!) kinda got me thinking.

How do you deal with racists? I mean the anonymous white dude that you meet that just blows your mind with vitriol?

The reason I ask:

A while back my band had a gig in a fairly rural area. The bar is literally across the road from a dairy farm, and the other 2 corners of the intersection are corn fields.

I was just heading up onstage to get tuned up and make sure everything was turned on, when I ran into this older guy that was looking at my rig. We got into a discussion about my bass, and he volunteered that he played bass way back when, and had a 60 something P-bass that he hadn't played in years. He said he and his wife had been coming to this same bar for 40 years or so, and he'd known the previous owners pretty well. They were regulars and always came out for dinner on Saturdays.

Then he looks over towards the bar, and says; "There's a N----- sitting at the bar!!" "In the 40 years I've been coming here, there has never been a N----- in here!"

I looked over where he was looking, and there was a younger black guy sitting at the bar with a white girl that I assume was his girlfriend.

I had no idea what to say in this circumstance. I still had to play all night, and didn't really didn't want to "start anything" or "Make a scene", so I was just kinda like "huh".......... And excused myself to go do my prep before it was time to play.

I made it a point to keep an eye on the guy at the bar in case there was trouble (There wasn't any) but I'm still at a loss as to how I could have better handled it.

(We're back there this weekend, and I'm kind of worried I might run into the old guy.)

So how do the rest of you white folks deal with the rest of the white folks??

[funkometer]

All kinds of people like that here in Alabama. I just ignore em, or if its at a gig theyll usually get themselves thrown out.

[fenderhutz]

You did the right thing. You do not want a confrontation. It's awkward when it happens, but it's not my place to cause a fight. Some people refuse to change or it's so ingrained they don't know any better.

I live in WV in the Eastern Panhandle (pretty liberal compared to the rest of the state). While we have tons of more open minded people moving in and setting up shop here, we still got the good 'ol boys on the mountain that don't care about how they address a human.

[Phalex]

I just think that it's bizarre that after talking bass gear for five minutes the guy decided that he and I were simpatico on the issue of his issues. Bizarre..........

[carl h.]

well done

I'd have introduced myself to the guy at the bar and pointed out the idiot so he could keep an eye on him too.

[Phalex]

Originally Posted by carl h.

I'd have introduced myself to the guy at the bar and pointed out the idiot so he could keep an eye on him too.

That's a good point. I may have been able to pull it off without coming across as a jerk myself....... Then again, I imagine that little talk could have gone badly too.....

[R. Laevinus]

I deal with white racists in precisely the same way I deal with black racists, asian racists, hispanic and latino racists, central, western, eastern, and northern european racists, slavic racists, middle-eastern racists, south american racists, native american racists, and the good, old-fashioned, US of A racists:

With a dry chuckle, a "Thanks for that, pal," and a quick trip out the nearest door.

In fact, I once bailed on a gig when a couple of interestingly attired persons started shouting at me during soundcheck that I was a race-traitor - apparently, the saxophone is a n***** instrument. Who'da thunk it?

[Ziltoid]

I use the stare of death.

[Phalex]

Originally Posted by Ziltoid

I use the stare of death.

I can do the "Crazy Eye"......

[bassybill]

I come from a town which is very mixed ethnically.

I played a gig at an out-of-the-way place down south a while back near the New Forest. One of the punters got talking to me at the end. He asked where we were from, and when I told him, he said, without any apparent malice, " I don't think I'd like it there - too many black people."

Then to make it worse, his friend butted in and said "Shhh - don't say that - they're used to 'em up there."

I was, for once, lost for words. I looked over at our guitarist, and we both had this "Where the **** are we?" look on our faces.

[groooooove]

i'm in new york.. most gigs in queens / brooklyn / manhattan..

anyone that said something like that at a gig of mine would be pretty likely to get their ass kicked, by just about anyone in the bar, white or not.

[Ziltoid]

Originally Posted by Phalex

I can do the "Crazy Eye"......

Thing is when most people do these remarks they look at other people to get some kind of approval or see people's reactions, the "disappoint/disgusted/disapproving" stare works quite well as a "stfu".

[MJ5150]

I would queued up my best Ving Rhames voice and said..."What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a couple of hard, pipe-hittin' ****** to go to work on homes here with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch. You hear me talkin' hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by *** sight. I'ma get medieval on your ***.

-Mike

[DWBass]

I'm 1/4 white. Do I get to chime in? You handled it very graciously! A lot of older folks (way older than my 52 years) were just brought up that way and don't know any better. They've been no where else......ever! Never seen the world much less experience any of the melting pot cities! It's all they know. I've had the same conversations and I'm a (3/4) black guy (although very fair skinned). I just kept my mouth shut and walked away. My band has played quite a few country clubs where blacks are still not accepted as members (a mostly black band can play there apparantly).

[Relic]

I've learned the hard way that nothing I say is going to change that sorta ignorance. I used to get all up in arms but it always got nowhere.

But then again, around here it's pretty diverse enough that should someone say something like that in public, they're pretty much isolating and ostracizing themselves anyway. It's kind of a self-rectifying problem.

[Dr. Cheese]

I don't see anything else Phalex could have done other than what he did, however, I think of something that Malcolm X said a few times. Paraphrasing him, he said 'there is nothing more pointless than a white person talking to a black person about how bad racism is; if you want to make a difference, talk to other whites about how bad racism is."

When and how you do that is the question.

[onosson]

I run into this more than you might think up here in the-middle-of-nowhere, Canada. There is a lot of racism and prejudice against natives/aboriginals here, as well as against the ever-increasing population of black people (mostly from the Caribbean and East Africa). Quite recently I heard some awful comments made regarding the large Filipino population here (we have the largest Canadian Filipino cohort outside of Toronto, I believe) - I think the phrase used was something like "They need to stop breeding".

I'm a typical white-looking person, I'm 1/2 German which accounts for my blond hair and blue eyes, so people often don't think twice about spewing out this kind of thing around me. However, my step-family (part of my family since I was 8) are native and metis, so it's bothered me for a very long time when I run into this kind of thing. Also, my wife is black and my kids are mixed, so it hits home on a personal level there, too.

Usually, I brush it off and don't get into a confrontation. But I usually almost immediately stop having any further conversation with people who say stuff like that - as it makes me sick to my stomach. Honestly, I can hardly stand to look someone in the eyes after they make a comment like that.

[Phalex]

Originally Posted by DWBass

I'm 1/4 white. Do I get to chime in?

Absolutely! My title was just a tongue in cheek reference to Relic's post. I also assumed that the racist remarks black folks hear directed at black folks by white folks is a whole lot different than the racist remarks made casually about black folks by white folks to white folks.........

I just made myself kinda dizzy there........

I have to admit; when a friend of mines old Jamaican grandmother makes racially insensitive comments, I actually think it's kind of cute. No matter where you go, there you are, you know?

[Phalex]

Originally Posted by Dr. Cheese

I don't see anything else Phalex could have done other than what he did, however, I think of something that Malcolm X said a few times. Paraphrasing him, he said 'there is nothing more pointless than a white person talking to a black person about how bad racism is; if you want to make a difference, talk to other whites about how bad racism is."

When and how you do that is the question.

I agree 100%! When and how are most definitely the most difficult part of the equation.

[Relic]

here's a twist - have you guys even been in a situation where you're the only white guy somewhere when someone makes a nasty comment towards a person of 3rd ethnicity?

Like person A who's black, makes a really crude comment about person B who's Asian (or vice versa) That's happened to me a few times..it kind of throws you although it should be no different any way you look at it.