A question for you older guys

stratovani · #1 07-17-2010, 09:03 AM

Maybe it's me, but I'm finding that the older I get, the shorter my temper. Things that didn't bother me when I was younger get under my skin a lot more now. And things that I meekly settled for years ago I no longer tolerate. Last Wednesday night a few of my bandmates and I went to a local open mic. I was sitting at the bar listening to the music when this older guy came over and he asked us if we were performing. Our lead guitarist said we were up next. This guy then asked us if we were any good. I could feel my blood pressure rising and the adrenaline kicking in. Our guitarist hemmed and hawed a bit, then I blurted out, "No, we're good, we're damn good!". Afterwards I said to him that it was a question of confidence, in other words why put ourselves down? Funny now that I think of it, but at that time I was getting ready for a barroom brawl, which I intended to win, no matter what!

So, geezers, fuse getting longer or shorter?

hover · #2 07-17-2010, 09:08 AM

reads more like chip on the shoulder. Don't be so reactionary or quick to anger.

I dunno if 39 is "old dood" territory to you, but I've learned that tho my patience for many a thing has grown a bit thinner over time, my tolerance to stupidity strained more often, my ability to let things slide has gone up in equal proportion.

I doubt the dudester at the bar meant anything more than casual conversation mixed with a lack of tact or whatever (what do you expect, you're at an open mic...prolly at a Legion Hall or P.A.C. or whatever...you've got a mix of music fans, and boozers and old timers at those, every time )...so again, what do you expect?

Better yet...WERE you damn good, and was it acknowledged as so by any parties?

mike_v_s · #3 07-17-2010, 09:11 AM

Define "geezer". I'm 35. My temper has waned since my early 20's, but I've found that I've grown more assertive in situations that I would previously let go. This isn't to say there is any anger attached to those situations, I'm just much more clear about my expectations.

A good portion of that patience came with the arrival of my kids, and the rest came with learning to fly a blimp.

Mike

FL Knifemaker · #4 07-17-2010, 09:11 AM

I think I've gone the other way. Things that used to bother me, I just laugh off now. I've been in enough fights to know that at 50, I don't want to have to recover from another one. A friend of mine who's the same age had similar, minor rage issues that came on in his late 40's. His doc put him on a very mild anti depressant and he says he feels MUCH better. He was getting road rage over almost nothing..........which could be dangerous to say the least

stratovani · #5 07-17-2010, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hover

reads more like chip on the shoulder. Don't be so reactionary or quick to anger.

I dunno if 39 is "old dood" territory to you, but I've learned that tho my patience for many a thing has grown a bit thinner over time, my tolerance to stupidity strained more often, my ability to let things slide has gone up in equal proportion.

I doubt the dudester at the bar meant anything more than casual conversation mixed with a lack of tact or whatever (what do you expect, you're at an open mic...prolly at a Legion Hall or P.A.C. or whatever...you've got a mix of music fans, and boozers and old timers at those, every time )...so again, what do you expect?

Yeah, you're right, I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. It's just an example of how I react to things sometimes. I'm sure some of the posters here at TB have noticed my quick temper! Funny but I was never like this when I was younger.

BobWestbrook · #6 07-17-2010, 09:18 AM

I learned, belatedly, that life is much more pleasant and with less conflict with the ones you are close to if you learn to just laugh things off rather than take offense, even if offense could be rightly taken.

Jeff K · #7 07-17-2010, 09:18 AM

Longer fuse, generally. Certain things and situations will still set me off, but in general, I'm not as hot-tempered as I was as a young man.

Sometimes I need reminders though. I got a good one (reminder) yesterday. We had a case here in Memphis in which the jury trial just ended yesterday. Guy comes out of a restaurant one night and finds another SUV parked too close to his own SUV. An argument ensues between the guy and a woman who owns the other vehicle. The woman's husband comes out and the two men start arguing.

The second man goes to his car and gets a pistol. He claimed that the other man was much larger than he, so he was afraid for his life. Ends up shooting the first man, who dies in front of his three children (all either teenaged or adults). Both sides had their own version of how things unfolded, but that's the basic story in a condensed version.

The shooter was convicted of 2nd degree murder yesterday. The one newsman was talking to one of the victim's sons after the verdict. He was asked if he had any advice stemming from this tragedy. In effect, he said, "I've learned that people should not be so quick to anger over minor things. Everything can change in a heartbeat, and it's usually just not worth it." I'm paraphrasing, but that's basically what he said.

I thought, "How true. And how sad somebody had to die pursuant to an argument over being parked too close to each other." Reminders such as this one are good for me. I have little tolerance for fools; yet I realize that by losing my temper too easily, I am frequently the fool.

shadowtippy · #8 07-17-2010, 09:20 AM

Hey! Who are you calling old? You want to step outside and say that? Just kidding, I have mellowed with age, although some things do tend to rile me now that might not have bothered me when I was younger. For the most part, though, I tend to laugh off a lot of idiocy and other "normal" human behavior.

DigMe · #9 07-17-2010, 09:35 AM

How old are you, stratovani?

stratovani · #10 07-17-2010, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DigMe

How old are you, stratovani?

56. Sometimes I think it's a hormone thing!

Lazylion · #11 07-17-2010, 09:46 AM

I never used to mind if the kids were on my lawn, but now...

**cheezewiz** · #12 07-17-2010, 09:53 AM

46 here. I see that as a legitimate, if a little tactless question at an open mic! My fuse is generally longer about trivial things these days.l

**lowendfriend** · #13 07-17-2010, 09:54 AM

I'm 59. Like most other things in life, it ain't that simple.

Somethings get under my skin worse than ever, but in other areas I've grown in tolerance and better yet openness to other views.

**pacojas** · #14 07-17-2010, 09:59 AM

i'm 54 and all i care about now, is my little jar of peanut butter,... the chunky stuff!!! everything else is a non-issue. BUT,... you touch my Super Chunk,... it's a "man down" situation.

ridgeback · #15 07-17-2010, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stratovani

Maybe it's me, but I'm finding that the older I get, the shorter my temper. Things that didn't bother me when I was younger get under my skin a lot more now. And things that I meekly settled for years ago I no longer tolerate. Last Wednesday night a few of my bandmates and I went to a local open mic. I was sitting at the bar listening to the music when this older guy came over and he asked us if we were performing. Our lead guitarist said we were up next. This guy then asked us if we were any good. I could feel my blood pressure rising and the adrenaline kicking in. Our guitarist hemmed and hawed a bit, then I blurted out, "No, we're good, we're damn good!". Afterwards I said to him that it was a question of confidence, in other words why put ourselves down? Funny now that I think of it, but at that time I was getting ready for a barroom brawl, which I intended to win, no matter what!

So, geezers, fuse getting longer or shorter?

what age are you mate(if you dont mind me asking) iam 39 feel and look 90..i have chilled a lot as i have got older,dont get into so much trouble these days but there are certain people that can still push my buttons..dont have much time for arrogant door men for example..(nothing worse humping and amp in through a door and the ****** asks what your doing!!! Have a guess **** head!!) i am more understanding with kids and teenagers than i ever was.its hard sometimes just to let things go and walk away..

Jonyak · #16 07-17-2010, 10:05 AM

I used to be a very angry man in my 20's but as I approached 30, I found myself mellowing out quite a bit. and now I am quite a calm guy.

stratovani · #17 07-17-2010, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lowendfriend

I'm 59. Like most other things in life, it ain't that simple.

Somethings get under my skin worse than ever, but in other areas I've grown in tolerance and better yet openness to other views.

You know, I've gotten like that, too. I find myself a lot more tolerant of differing viewpoints and lifestyles. It's the "flashpoint" I have to watch for!

Munjibunga · #18 07-17-2010, 10:20 AM

No, I'm no more grumpy than I've ever been. What I find troublesome is that my actual skin is getting thinner. Cuts and scrapes happen a lot easier.

As for the bar comment, I'd laugh at that and make some sort of sarcastic comment. Something like, "Well, we suck less than a black hole."

Gintaras · #19 07-17-2010, 10:39 AM

i'm 63 and have studied this phenomenom so I would not get there. It's called 'old man syndrome'
here is some info on it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irritable_male_syndrome

I also remember what one of my professor's said in college when someone said that this person pissed them off.

"they did not piss you off but you allowed them to piss you off..no one has that power over you unless you allow it"
This has stuck with me all my life and basically nothing irritates me anymore. Everything is just an opinion anyway.

The other things that helped me is:
1) working out
2) Don't drink or drug
3) eat mostly organically grown food.

stratovani · #20 07-17-2010, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gintaras

i'm 63 and have studied this phenomenom so I would not get there. It's called 'old man syndrome'
here is some info on it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irritable_male_syndrome

I also remember what one of my professor's said in college when someone said that this person pissed them off.

"they did not piss you off but you allowed them to piss you off..no one has that power over you unless you allow it"
This has stuck with me all my life and basically nothing irritates me anymore. Everything is just an opinion anyway.

The other things that helped me is:
1) working out
2) Don't drink or drug
3) eat mostly organically grown food.

Easy for you to say! Come and spend a day in my skin and see how it feels! Sometimes it feels like I have no control over it!

Oops! I did it again...