Was this Racism or am I being paranoid?

[IotaNet]

To the group -

There have been quite a few threads lately about racial items and how things can be mis-interpreted. I had an experience a few weeks ago that I'd share and get some input/feedback on.

My wife and I are Black and we live in a pretty decent neighborhood. It's not Donald Trump style but it's a relatively secluded and exclusive area -- the kind of house a Business Executive buys after 25 years of hard work. I recently ran across a couple who lives in my neighborhood -- they're in their mid 60's. We've never met but I know their names from the Neighborhood listserv.

As it turned out, another of our neighbors had left some important papers on his car and they'd blown away as he drove off. The couple stopped their car to pick up the papers and I ran across them as I was walking my dog. FWIW, I was dressed in jeans, topsiders, and a button-down shirt. The quintessential "busnessman after hours" look.

I looked at the wife and said hello. She looked at me in total confusion and said haltingly ...

"Uh ... do you live here? Oh my -- you're renting this house, right? How long have you been here?"

"No, Ma'am -- my wife and I bought this house almost 3 years ago."

Her husband spoke up ... "Oh ... really? ... and what kind of work do you do?"

"I'm a Sales Executive for Xerox"

"Ohhh, really?"

[smiling]"Why yes, really"

As I watched them walk away, I was amused then insulted and then resigned. The most amazing thing was the total SHOCK and DISBELIEF on their faces

I have to ask -- do White people have interactions like this with neighbors or was this unusual?

[Relic]

Originally Posted by IotaNet

To the group -

There have been quite a few threads lately about racial items and how things can be mis-interpreted. I had an experience a few weeks ago that I'd share and get some input/feedback on.

My wife and I are Black and we live in a pretty decent neighborhood. It's not Donald Trump style but it's a relatively secluded and exclusive area -- the kind of house a Business Executive buys after 25 years of hard work. I recently ran across a couple who lives in my neighborhood -- they're in their mid 60's. We've never met but I know their names from the Neighborhood listserv.

As it turned out, another of our neighbors had left some important papers on his car and they'd blown away as he drove off. The couple stopped their car to pick up the papers and I ran across them as I was walking my dog. FWIW, I dressed in jeans, topsiders, and a button-down shirt. The quintessential "busnessman after hours" look.

I looked at the wife and said hello. She looked at me in total confusion and said haltingly ...

"Uh ... do you live here? Oh my -- you're renting this house, right? How long have you been here?"

"No, Ma'am -- my wife and I bought this house almost 3 years ago."

Her husband spoke up ... "Oh really? And what kind of work do you do?"

"I'm a Sales Executive for Xerox"

"Ohhh, really?"

[smiling]"Why yes, really"

As I watched them walk away, I was amused then insulted and then resigned. The most amazing this was the total SHOCK and DISBELIEF on their faces

I have to ask -- do White people have interactions like this with neighbors or was this unusual?

Yes - it sounds like racism or maybe more a case of prejudice to me?

And yes, I have most definitely experienced a similar thing. When we moved into our first house, I had long hair. I guess I looked the "rocker" part. It was not necessarily an exclusive neighborhood, more so a working class area with a lot of retirees. Our neighbors were this older white couple. The first words that they ever uttered to me? Not "welcome" or "Hi, we're Mr Mrs So and So", nope, it was 'we don't appreciate any drug use or wild parties!! And wont tolerate it!" lol
Not really the same thing but similar in effect I think.

[arbitrary]

I don't think you're being paranoid. That sounds pretty "unusual" to me.

[Bassguy61]

I know I certainly have. I lived in neighborhoods before where I was loked at/treated like an outsider by people of my own race. In my case, I lived in an area that had a large number of elderly folks that saw me as a "threat to the neighborhood". I didn't drive a fancy car, didn't spend hours tweaking my yard to perfection, didn't keep up with the neighborhood gossip. Oh, well...

I know in my case it was more "class oriented" than "racial" (we were all white). Could be some of what you ran into as well.

[macaroni tony]

LOL@Relic's post

I know you asked the white folks, but I'll chip in as well. Yes - race-based prejudice it looks like.

Were you sweaty? A sweaty black man has been known to get older white women going. Did you just say "Hello" or did you say "What's a little thang like you doin in a place like this miss lady? Eh heeehee heeah?"

[Relic]

HAHA! You're on a roll today dude

[IotaNet]

Originally Posted by Bassguy61

...I know in my case it was more "class oriented" than "racial" (we were all white). Could be some of what you ran into as well.

Originally Posted by macaroni tony

Were you sweaty? A sweaty black man has been known to get older white women going ...

This ...

Originally Posted by IotaNet

... I was dressed in jeans, topsiders, and a button-down shirt. The quintessential "busnessman after hours" look.

What's more "middle-class" than a man walking his dog wearing jeans, a button-down shirt and topsiders ?

[Relic]

Originally Posted by IotaNet

This ... What's more "middle-class" than a man walking his dog wearing jeans, a button-down shirt and topsiders ?

WAIT! What kind of dog - that's where the answer lies. If it was not something 6" tall, all floofy and going "yip-yip" you were obviously not conforming, and therefor suspicious-looking.

[macaroni tony]

Originally Posted by IotaNet

This ... What's more "middle-class" than a man walking his dog wearing jeans, a button-down shirt and topsiders ?

I know...but you were walking your dog right? Had you worked up a sweat?

Yeah yeah I know, I was just trying to be funny. I'll....just grab my coat now

[Jazz Ad]

Prejudice without a doubt. Racism, I wouldn't go that far.

[Wyrm74]

It sounds like some old school white folks that just can't believe that a black man also can get an education and achieve success. Whether it was out-right racism or just ignorant bigotry, they don't sound like people you want to hang with. Don't worry about it, they aren't worth your time.

[macaroni tony]

I'm with the wyrm

[Bassman316]

Originally Posted by Wyrm74

It sounds like some old school white folks that just can't believe that a black man also can get an education and achieve success. Whether it was out-right racism or just ignorant bigotry, they don't sound like people you want to hang with. Don't worry about it, they aren't worth your time.

This.

[Wyrm74]

Originally Posted by macaroni tony

Were you sweaty? A sweaty black man has been known to get older white women going. Did you just say "Hello" or did you say "What's a little thang like you doin in a place like this miss lady? Eh heeehee heeah?"

OMG Tony, that made me laugh out loud! It reminded me of the scene in Blazing Saddles where the sheriff says "Where the white women at?!" Hahaha!

[powderfinger]

Originally Posted by IotaNet

To the group -

There have been quite a few threads lately about racial items and how things can be mis-interpreted. I had an experience a few weeks ago that I'd share and get some input/feedback on.

My wife and I are Black and we live in a pretty decent neighborhood. It's not Donald Trump style but it's a relatively secluded and exclusive area -- the kind of house a Business Executive buys after 25 years of hard work. I recently ran across a couple who lives in my neighborhood -- they're in their mid 60's. We've never met but I know their names from the Neighborhood listserv.

As it turned out, another of our neighbors had left some important papers on his car and they'd blown away as he drove off. The couple stopped their car to pick up the papers and I ran across them as I was walking my dog. FWIW, I was dressed in jeans, topsiders, and a button-down shirt. The quintessential "busnessman after hours" look.

I looked at the wife and said hello. She looked at me in total confusion and said haltingly ...

"Uh ... do you live here? Oh my -- you're renting this house, right? How long have you been here?"

"No, Ma'am -- my wife and I bought this house almost 3 years ago."

Her husband spoke up ... "Oh ... really? ... and what kind of work do you do?"

"I'm a Sales Executive for Xerox"

"Ohhh, really?"

[smiling]"Why yes, really"

As I watched them walk away, I was amused then insulted and then resigned. The most amazing thing was the total SHOCK and DISBELIEF on their faces

I have to ask -- do White people have interactions like this with neighbors or was this unusual?

Honestly, it sounds maybe like "elitism" more than "racism". Same thing happened to my father 10 years ago when he moved into a similar neigborhood as yours. My dad came froma poor family, but worked his way up and earned enough money later in life to be able to afford this home.

My dad, although able to afford to live in a "rich neighborhood", did not dress, act, or look the part. His first week at the new house, he was doing yardwork, and his neighbor, and old doctor, told my dad when the new owners arrive back home, he wants to talk to them. The doctor thought my dad was the yard man.

[Eric Albany]

Originally Posted by IotaNet

To the group -

There have been quite a few threads lately about racial items and how things can be mis-interpreted. I had an experience a few weeks ago that I'd share and get some input/feedback on.

My wife and I are Black and we live in a pretty decent neighborhood. It's not Donald Trump style but it's a relatively secluded and exclusive area -- the kind of house a Business Executive buys after 25 years of hard work. I recently ran across a couple who lives in my neighborhood -- they're in their mid 60's. We've never met but I know their names from the Neighborhood listserv.

As it turned out, another of our neighbors had left some important papers on his car and they'd blown away as he drove off. The couple stopped their car to pick up the papers and I ran across them as I was walking my dog. FWIW, I was dressed in jeans, topsiders, and a button-down shirt. The quintessential "busnessman after hours" look.

I looked at the wife and said hello. She looked at me in total confusion and said haltingly ...

"Uh ... do you live here? Oh my -- you're renting this house, right? How long have you been here?"

"No, Ma'am -- my wife and I bought this house almost 3 years ago."

Her husband spoke up ... "Oh ... really? ... and what kind of work do you do?"

"I'm a Sales Executive for Xerox"

"Ohhh, really?"

[smiling]"Why yes, really"

As I watched them walk away, I was amused then insulted and then resigned. The most amazing thing was the total SHOCK and DISBELIEF on their faces

I have to ask -- do White people have interactions like this with neighbors or was this unusual?

Who knows. Could be racism, could have just been awkward. I'm guessing that it was just awkward since you haven't met each other before. I would suggest that the next time you meet you start off by saying something like this. "Hi, how are you doing? I know that we talked briefly before, but I would like to introduce my self. I'm (your name here)." then they should respond by telling you their name(s). If you're with your wife, introduce her too. That should get rid of some of the awkwardness.

[PSPookie]

I dunno, I occasionally have similar exchanges with my neighboors and it has nothing to do with racism and everything to do with me being socially awkward.

[powderfinger]

It might just be because they are old and already set in their ways and thoughts.

Meaning, no one who doesn't look exactly like them could possibly live in THEIR neighborhood.

[MakiSupaStar]

Originally Posted by macaroni tony

LOL@Relic's post

I know you asked the white folks, but I'll chip in as well. Yes - race-based prejudice it looks like.

Were you sweaty? A sweaty black man has been known to get older white women going. Did you just say "Hello" or did you say "What's a little thang like you doin in a place like this miss lady? Eh heeehee heeah?"

Hahahaha.

I'd agree. Definitely prejudice. If they continue to behave in this manner with their undertones, I would define them as racist. Right now though, based upon this one incident, I would define their behavior as prejudice, but it's still a little early to call them out and out racists, IMO. Perhaps, they change their tune next time they're around. If they do, then I would say that they're learning. If they don't, then I would say they're racist. Again, I'm a white guy, but I've experienced this kind of thing with my wife (who's Japanese), and we've kind of learned to given those with their predisposed prejudice a little time to process things. Our neighbors who are in their 80's took a little time (a couple of meetings - although they still mispronounce her name), and are fine now. My wife actually spent the day over there making jam with them a little while ago.

[jmattbassplaya]

I agree with the others who said this isn't quite racism, but more on the lines of elitism, ignorance, and prejudice.