Here we are looking at a 21 year old man living with his parents in the upscale community known as Huntington Harbor. His name is Dumbass. Dumbass lounges on the deck of the property's personal dock enjoying a sunny day and a cold Zima when the phone rings.
He checks the caller-ID.
"Yo Knucklehead!"
"DUMBASS!!!!! WOOOOOOT!!!, Is he gone?"
"Yep dropped him off at the airport an hour ago."
"Saweet!"
"Dude!"
"Sweet!"
"Dude!"
"So round up the posse and cruise over. Bring the beer I'll supply the fishing poles."
They hang up. Dumbass finishes his Zima and heads out his father's pride and joy, the
Exceter and removes the covers. He hops onboard and starts cranking some N'Sync because he likes to roll old school. On his way to the garage he busts out some dance moves including the patented Munjibunga wet-your-finger-slick-your-eyebrows move while looking at your reflection in the tinted windows. He grabs some fishing poles, a hibachi that attaches to boat railing, some charcoal, and a cooler. A short while later Knucklehead arrives with their posse, seven other dudes wearing identical wife beaters, baggy pants with their calvin-klein boxers peaking out the top and big flat brimmed trucker cap tilted to the side at the correct angle. They begin piling beers into the boat, and before they leave someone starts the rally cry "Shot!, Shot!, Shot!, Shot!," and they begin pounding shots of tequilla. An hour later, dumbass stumbles into the
Exceter and motors out the harbor.
It's a beautiful day in sunny California and this boat, completely lacking any chicks, sets course for the Huntington Beach pier. They decide to yell "Wooooooo!" at the the people on the pier. Eventually, Zero tower on the pier advises them that they need to remain at least one half mile outside the surf-zone at all times. As they motor out to sea, they flash the voice of authority the finger then they congratulate each other on their brazen display of rebellion.
About 10 minutes later they cut the engines and decide to fish while slamming the Zimas. No one is catching anything, and two of the guys got tangled up with each other and decided to cut line ridding the poles of their pesky forty dollars worth of tackle. They fish rather happily for about an hour. At some point, dumbass decides he's going to go down below and pass out in the captain's cabin. The rest of the guys continue fishing, cranking Bon Jovi, N'Sync, Boys in the Hood, Shaggy, and Brittany Spears over the onboard stereo system. The
Execeter has a booming system, so they crank it up loud and do the yo-yo pec flex dance at each other. They crank the stereo loud enough to block out those annoying bleeps and blurts coming from the lifeguard trucks blaring announcements at them over their PA systems. Then one of the notices that a swimmer and a body boarder are swimming past them. Then another. Pretty soon there are all kinds of swimmer around them. Then the next thing you know there is a six foot wave rolling at them. Knucklehead tries to wake up Dumbass because it's his boat. Needless to say the wave slams their starboard side, as does the next wave in the set, and the next one, and before they know it, there are lifeguards all around them yelling things at them. Eventually they understand that they need to get off the boat, so Knucklehead is the first one off. Instead of jumping out to sea like the rest of his posse, he decides he's going to step off the port side closest to shore. He jumps right at the exact same moment that the
Exeter runs aground on a shorepound wave. Suddenly he sees dry sand. He makes it to the ground, promptly breaking his ankle luckily hobbles himself to shore just before the boat crushes him. Dumbass had to be awakened by one of the lifeguards that boarded the boat. The lifeguard grabbed the keys, immediately shutting down the bumping tunes, and went down below to wake up a very drunk Dumbass who had recently puked all over the Captain's cabin. Here are some pictures of the failboat.
The above story was recreated for the sake of dramatization.
or 'i HATE john turner' logos on it.
