RELATIONSHIPS SUCK

CBNJ · #1 03-03-2013, 02:44 PM

Am I right? After almost two years, my girlfriend decides that she wants to be able to go out and have fun and not be tied down. Do I steer into it and tell her that she's right? I know that if I try to talk her out of it, that won't have a good ending.

She's the kind of girl that will complain that we don't go out to the bar enough to have fun and socialize. When we're out if I have a drink, she's mad that I don't have another one. She's also the one that brings her alcoholic friend out to the bar..

I don't understand girls. Guess it's time to start dating women.

Bloodhammer · #2 03-03-2013, 02:54 PM

Does she want you to go with her, or to stay away from her while she has fun with her friends? If she wants to leave you behind while she goes out at night, she's getting ready to leave you. I'm also guessing she has recently turned 21.

Two years ain't a bad run for someone your age. If you try to keep her close, she will most definitely break up with you - just sooner. There's nothing you can do. Set her free and see if she comes back. Don't wait, though. Go ahead and start talking to other women.

CBNJ · #3 03-03-2013, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bloodhammer

Does she want you to go with her, or to stay away from her while she has fun with her friends? If she wants to leave you at the house while she stays out at night, she's getting ready to leave you.

Two years ain't a bad run for someone your age. If you try to keep her close, she will most definitely break up with you - just sooner. There's nothing you can do. Set her free and see if she comes back.

How do you know how old I am?! Probably in my profile.

And close! She just turned 22, but she has the attitude: "I'm old enough to drink, I enjoy going out and having a drink".

She's saying that she wants to be able to go out and have fun and do whatever she wants, aka break up. But she said it would be better if we 'split up for now' because she doesn't think we can fix it. I just don't understand how they love you one week, and not the next.

jmattbassplaya · #4 03-03-2013, 02:57 PM

Depends on what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I'm not too interested in one unless the girl was like yours and just wanted to go out, socialize, and have fun on a regular basis with me and our friends. If she's wanting to do that stuff with you then try to do it more often (if you want to). If not, just say you want something else and you think it's a good idea for you two to split up. You might be surprised and see her come back to you really quickly if you do that... or maybe not, but at least you'll save face handling things this way.

VeganThump · #5 03-03-2013, 02:58 PM

I made the mistake of marrying a young girl and she pulled the same thing on me... after we had 2 kids. There's nothing you can do, if she doesn't want to be tied down, there's nothing you can say or do to change that, TRUST ME!

jmattbassplaya · #6 03-03-2013, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBNJ

How do you know how old I am?! Probably in my profile.

And close! She just turned 22, but she has the attitude: "I'm old enough to drink, I enjoy going out and having a drink".

She's saying that she wants to be able to go out and have fun and do whatever she wants, aka break up. But she said it would be better if we 'split up for now' because she doesn't think we can fix it. I just don't understand how they love you one week, and not the next.

You're less than a month younger than me. At this age, everyone should just want to go out, have fun, and not be too serious with things. You have your whole life in front of you, so there's no reason not to have fun while you can

CBNJ · #7 03-03-2013, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jmattbassplaya

Depends on what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I'm not too interested in one unless the girl was like yours and just wanted to go out, socialize, and have fun on a regular basis with me and our friends. If she's wanting to do that stuff with you then try to do it more often (if you want to). If not, just say you want something else and you think it's a good idea for you two to split up. You might be surprised and see her come back to you really quickly if you do that... or maybe not, but at least you'll save face handling things this way.

I know what you're saying. I did try to do that stuff with her, but it never seems to be enough. If we do it once a week, she wants to do it twice a week. One drink, she wants me to have two.

Definitely not going to fight for the relationship and try to change her feelings, I did that with my first major one and that was a MESSY breakup.

Casting Thunder · #8 03-03-2013, 02:59 PM

From what you wrote, it sounds like you'd both would do better apart.

MJ5150 · #9 03-03-2013, 03:00 PM

Your relationship may suck, but in my experience they don't suck overall.

-Mike

Bloodhammer · #10 03-03-2013, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBNJ

How do you know how old I am?! Probably in my profile.

And close! She just turned 22, but she has the attitude: "I'm old enough to drink, I enjoy going out and having a drink".

She's saying that she wants to be able to go out and have fun and do whatever she wants, aka break up. But she said it would be better if we 'split up for now' because she doesn't think we can fix it. I just don't understand how they love you one week, and not the next.

Ah. I had the exact same scenario happen when I was 22. Exactly - even down to the relationship being two years old.

She's gone, dude. As for how she could love you one moment and not the next, she has likely been thinking about leaving you for months and it really isn't as sudden as it seems.

CBNJ · #11 03-03-2013, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bloodhammer

Ah. I had the exact same scenario happen when I was 22. Exactly - even down to the relationship being two years old.

She's gone, dude. As for how she could love you one moment and not the next, she has likely been thinking about leaving you for months and it really isn't as sudden as it seems.

Yeah! Crazy.

The love/no love thing gets even weirder. Last night she said she loved me, but today she said that was because she thought I'd get mad if she didn't say it.

Richland123 · #12 03-03-2013, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBNJ

I don't understand girls. Guess it's time to start dating women.

You answered your own question. Time to move on.

Indiana Mike · #13 03-03-2013, 03:16 PM

There is not much you can do about it except deal with it or move on.....

Bloodhammer · #14 03-03-2013, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBNJ

Yeah! Crazy.

The love/no love thing gets even weirder. Last night she said she loved me, but today she said that was because she thought I'd get mad if she didn't say it.

Hey, the girl that broke my heart years ago maintains to this day that a part of her will always love me

, but she just had to get out there and party every night and sleep with a bunch of guys before she was too old to do so. LOL

She wound up married with child two or three years after that. Go figure.

CBNJ · #15 03-03-2013, 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bloodhammer

Hey, the girl that broke my heart years ago maintains to this day that a part of her will always love me

, but she just had to get out there and party every night and sleep with a bunch of guys before she was too old to do so. LOL

She wound up married with child two or three years after that. Go figure.

Ouch..

knumbskull · #16 03-03-2013, 03:39 PM

cut and run TBH

Mr_Music90 · #17 03-03-2013, 03:56 PM

I see you were born in the same year like me, so we have the same age

I can tell from experience, that if you are together on a young age, it can happen that either you or your girlfriend misses the time for going out and make all the fun possible.. But then like when you were single.

I had a relationship for about 18 months with my last ex-girlfriend (single now for 2½ years), but when we were together for about 14 months, I started to annoy that there was nothing I could do by myself, like I did when I was single.

Of course you can't go party with other girls if you have a relationship, but I wanted to have some more time and room for myself.

Eventually we broke up cause she couldn't stand out I was working during the evening only and she thought we had too few contact together..

Well looking back at it, I think it's better like this. Sometimes I feel a bit lonely, but I'm just not in the mood for a relationship. Live your life while you can, because before you know, that time is over

chee666 · #18 03-03-2013, 04:06 PM

Your 21 you have a few more girlfriend to go through before you meet the one. Especially if you are a gigging bass player found mine at 29......But had much fun doing so. Let her go break your heart write some songs.

Kwesi · #19 03-03-2013, 04:17 PM

Leave her? Doesn't seem all that complicated to me.

CBNJ · #20 03-03-2013, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chee666

Your 21 you have a few more girlfriend to go through before you meet the one. Especially if you are a gigging bass player found mine at 29......But had much fun doing so. Let her go break your heart write some songs.

I'm 22, but I know what you're saying. That's a good way to look at it, at least I'll get some material!