Respect

[slobake]

When I think someone is not showing me respect me I can be offended. As soon as that happens I am in trouble. If I am offended it means I giving someone power over me. I like to imagine how free I would be without offense, resentment, etc. I'd like to say I am there but I'm not, just working in that direction.

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by bassinplace

+1. It's impossible to respect anyone who doesn't have any respect for others.

Personally, I find this a poor excuse for showing disrespect to others. Someone being an ass does nto give license for me to give it back. When dealing with someone who has no respect for others, the first thing to keep in mind is ones own self-respect. Don't succumb and keep your integrity in tact.

Originally Posted by slobake

I like to imagine how free I would be without offense, resentment, etc. I'd like to say I am there but I'm not, just working in that direction.

Same here. As I said earlier, we are human and fallible. But we can get better.

[Marial]

There is acceptance and there is respect. I can accept someone's behavior or words without respecting them. I can accept a born again Christian, for instance, looking me in the face and telling me I'm going to everlasting torment because I don't have the same views as he or she does. That certainly doesn't mean I have to respect that point view.

In terms of social interaction I generally try to gauge the audience and behave accordingly.

[Dr. Cheese]

Originally Posted by Marial

There is acceptance and there is respect. I can accept someone's behavior or words without respecting them. I can accept a born again Christian, for instance, looking me in the face and telling me I'm going to everlasting torment because I don't have the same views as he or she does. That certainly doesn't mean I have to respect that point view.

In terms of social interaction I generally try to gauge the audience and behave accordingly.

I see it the opposite way; I can respect a lot of ideas and a lot of behavior, but I don't have to accept them.

[Marial]

Originally Posted by Dr. Cheese

I see it the opposite way; I can respect a lot of ideas and a lot of behavior, but I don't have to accept them.

The reason I operate on the acceptance model rather than the respect model is that as part of the social contract sometimes you have to accept things as they are to get along. Acceptance does not imply respect. For instance, I have absolutely no respect for people who use racist language and hold racist views, but I accept those views and that language because of the First Amendment. I accept them because in our society they are free to hold those views and use that language. That acceptance, however, does not in any way mean that I respect those views, because I just don't and never will.

[Dr. Cheese]

Originally Posted by Marial

The reason I operate on the acceptance model rather than the respect model is that as part of the social contract sometimes you have to accept things as they are to get along. Acceptance does not imply respect. For instance, I have absolutely no respect for people who use racist language and hold racist views, but I accept those views and that language because of the First Amendment. I accept them because in our society they are free to hold those views and use that language. That acceptance, however, does not in any way mean that I respect those views, because I just don't and never will.

I see what you mean. I meant by respect, that I respect the right to hold certain views and lawful behavior with which I disagree. When I say accept, I am talking about ideas or behavior with which I agree.

[Marial]

Originally Posted by Dr. Cheese

I see what you mean. I meant by respect, that I respect the right to hold certain views and lawful behavior with which I disagree. When I say accept, I am talking about ideas or behavior with which I agree.

Right on, seems like we're reaching essentially the same place via different avenues. I respect the Right to hold a Viewpoint, but I do not necessarily respect the Viewpoint. I accept the Viewpoint because of my respect for the Right to hold it.

Semantics!

[bassinplace]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Personally, I find this a poor excuse for showing disrespect to others. Someone being an ass does nto give license for me to give it back. When dealing with someone who has no respect for others, the first thing to keep in mind is ones own self-respect. Don't succumb and keep your integrity in tact.

I wasn't suggesting someone should be disrespectful. There's a difference between not finding a person respectable and showing them disrespect. As you said, it's best not to succumb to it and keep one's integrity intact. It's always best to stick to the high road.

[Strat-Mangler]

Originally Posted by Dr. Cheese

You should be forgiving because you have intentionally tried to insult me in past. Having said that, I am no saint. I have been cruel at times on TB too, and to all I intentionally offended, I sincerely apologize myself.

No need to rehash the past. You finally stopped posting these threads and I consequently stopped trying to appeal to your good sense so you'd stop posting them.

'tis all good.

[jazzy grille]

Originally Posted by JAUQO III-X

It's interesting how people feel the need to be disrespectful to fellow tb members, what's even more interesting is how some feel the need to be disrespectful and send a pm apologizing for being so disrespectful. Admitting to being disrespectful but continuing to be really does say a lot.


And for those who did pm me apologizing please don't pm me any more. For the disrespect was continuous and each time it was done you knew what you were doing.


I have never ever,ever disrespected a tb member no matter how ignorant and disrespectful some have been towards me.

If one does not like some of the threads that I start, just don't post in them, if all you can do is be disrespectful to me or any one else who may have posted, if just doesn't make sense.

I start threads to hopefully bring about intelligent debate and to possibly bring a different perspective to the minds of my fellow bass players, not being able to have mature and intelligent debate might not be the way for many to participate and they know who they are, again just don't post.


My life experiences just like any one else's are ours and that is what many can't seem to understand or simply not care too.

Experiences can make us who we are and who we become as we journey through life.

The disrespect towards me and tb members in general has been going on far to long and maybe it's time for me to move on especially since I don't need tb.

What's interesting the ones who seem to have so much malice towards me says a lot about who they are, for they have never had a actual conversation with me but they feel the need to be so disrespectful and negative.

Whats interesting is how some people go through life disrespecting people constantly and when they finally get hit in their mouth they want to say that the person who did it was wrong.



If I don't disrespect you, don't disrespect me.

Jauqo,

I have been on this site for a long time, I really don't post on here for the same reasons.

At times I think people forget that this forum is here for us to share things and be a "collective" of bass players, rather than overtly opinionated and derogatory.

But, then again, what do I know?

This is my first post in probably 2-3 years.

[MarthaSamira]

Originally Posted by bassybill

For the record, it is extremely rare for any regular, established member on here to get permanently banned - like, hardly ever. And if it does happen, it's the end of a very long process and not at all arbitrary. Most often, this only happens to people who have joined very recently and have clearly done so with the intention of being obnoxious or troublesome.

Just my take as a mod here.

Don't most vBulletin foruns have an infraction system that bans members automatically after a few infractions given by mods? If so, how do you say it's rare for regular members to be banned?

[bassybill]

Originally Posted by MarthaSamira

Don't most vBulletin foruns have an infraction system that bans members automatically after a few infractions given by mods? If so, how do you say it's rare for regular members to be banned?

Because it is. The thresholds for this and the way it operates are subject to review at every level. As a result, very few members in the category I mentioned get banned because they want to stay here. The numbers who do get permanently banned are pretty tiny.

Anyway, I'd prefer not to be questioned about this in the public forums as such discussion always results in controversy which is we why we have rule #5 here. If you want to discuss it further, please ask via private message. No further posts on this in this thread at all - thank you.

[LiquidMidnight]

On the whole respect thing, I've come to learn that, while "karma" may not exist as this giant metaphysical equalizer in the sky, you do reap what you sow. This became very apparent to me a few weeks ago. I had learned that somebody had tried to stab me in the back earlier in the year. However, because I had fostered a lot of good will with other people who were in positions that could have helped throw me under the bus, that attempt to wrong me totally fizzled out. I had won because I had people's respect.

I know that sounds like some anecdote out of a self-help book, but I've come to really learn that it's true.

[Marial]

The 'don't be a d**k' rule really works in my experience.

[JAUQO III-X]

Originally Posted by Dr. Cheese

Jauqo, my advice to leave OT alone for a good long time.

Why should I leave OT? I'm not the one that disrespects tb members and I'm definitely not a tb member that continue to disrespect tb members?



Again if I start a thread and some one has issues with me, just don't post.

And since this is indeed talk bass, why have a sub forum called OT?

[Marial]

Originally Posted by JAUQO III-X

Why should I leave OT? I'm not the one that disrespects tb members and I'm definitely not a tb member that continue to disrespect tb members?



Again if I start a thread and some one has issues with me, just don't post.

And since this is indeed talk bass, why have a sub forum called OT?

With all due respect, if you don't find the OT subforum appropriate why are you posting in it?

Secondly, by posting a new thread you explicitly invite people to respond, that's how forums work, and not everyone thinks the way you do. Naturally, this leads to disagreement. Now disagreement can be respectful, but, this being the internet, snark is to be expected, however. It's just the nature of the beast, unfortunately.

[sloasdaylight]

Originally Posted by Marial

With all due respect, if you don't find the OT subforum appropriate why are you posting in it?

Secondly, by posting a new thread you explicitly invite people to respond, that's how forums work, and not everyone thinks the way you do. Naturally, this leads to disagreement. Now disagreement can be respectful, but, this being the internet, snark is to be expected, however. It's just the nature of the beast, unfortunately.

No joke. I've never understood this whole "if you don't like what I have to say, don't post" line of reasoning. It's exactly like you said, by posting it in an open forum, you're inviting feedback, both pro and con. If one only wants to hear supportive feedback, they should start their own blog they can moderate and control who is a member.

[Eric Perry]

Originally Posted by sloasdaylight

No joke. I've never understood this whole "if you don't like what I have to say, don't post" line of reasoning. It's exactly like you said, by posting it in an open forum, you're inviting feedback, both pro and con. If one only wants to hear supportive feedback, they should start their own blog they can moderate and control who is a member.

Yup.

[Lonesomedave]

Originally Posted by Marial

With all due respect, if you don't find the OT subforum appropriate why are you posting in it?

Secondly, by posting a new thread you explicitly invite people to respond, that's how forums work, and not everyone thinks the way you do. Naturally, this leads to disagreement. Now disagreement can be respectful, but, this being the internet, snark is to be expected, however. It's just the nature of the beast, unfortunately.

yeah, i've got to agree. i don't post in every thread that either has something i agree with or disagree with, but if i want to express either sentiment, i will.

i'm sorry you feel this way, Jauqo, but i think you are being unreasonable to expect all threads, at all times, to contain only posts by those who agree with the OP

[MJ5150]

Anyone can post in any thread, but the people who get me are the ones who post in a thread to say how dumb/ignorant/stupid the subject is. Those are the ones who leave me scratching my head wondering why they posted in the first place.

I don't like the sport of soccer, but I don't stop by a group of people playing in a park to tell them the sport is stupid.

-Mike