Seeing a psychiatrist - tldr;

[machine gewehr]

Well I f'ed up my life pretty good,I'm at a point where I will be kicked from university if I fail one single class,I'm taking 7 classes and they're really hard classes.I'm studying computer engineering so you may have an idea how hard it can be.

It seems my drinking problem ain't gonna get any better,actually it's getting worse.There's been a few days without booze for about 6-7 months.I simply can not sleep without it.

I had insomnia before but didn't go with the booze way back then,It changed me a lot,it was a life changing experience.I don't know how but after a week passed by having only 4 hours of sleep and on a friday night I collapsed,it started getting better and was gone before I knew it,now the demon is back.

I'm getting sick of having a hangover every damn day and if I drink too much,I become a monster literally,I become a danger to people around me.

I'm also tired of the tics,I have tics as long as I remember myself but my legs hurt right now because of tics.

I isolated myself from the world pretty much,I live in a villa outside the city by myself ,said **** off to many people I know of,I always liked being alone but I don't know any more,this isn't the me I used to be,I don't feel like myself anymore.

Trust me,if I wasn't in such a delicate situation with my education this is actually a good thing for me but it's gonna start effecting the studies I feel it's going there,the amount of booze keeps increasing.I can handle way too much booze than a normal person,I keep on drinking where people pass out with half of what I drink,AND ITS NOT FOR FREE!.

I never ask for help from people, (other than asking for advice in OT ofcourse) I don't trust people,but this,I don't think I'll be able to get out by myself.It's been a very hard decision but I think I'll see a shrink doc. on saturday.

What I wonder is,what does TB OT think of having therapy like this,do you have therapy on a regular basis?I know that many people do it,it is said that it is a necessaty of our modern day life also.

[i_got_a_mohawk]

Get professional help now.

I felt myself being pulled into that life style in my late teens and just up and stopped drinking completelly. Your personal and academic life are in real risk here, don't sit and post about it on here, start the ball rolling by phoning and getting help now if you can.

[Evil Undead]

Therapy works wonders I've been in therapy for a while (different reasons) and it's a long road, but things get better. Just keep taking positive steps

[drteeth]

Originally Posted by i_got_a_mohawk

Get professional help now.

I felt myself being pulled into that life style in my late teens and just up and stopped drinking completelly. Your personal and academic life are in real risk here, don't sit and post about it on here, start the ball rolling by phoning and getting help now if you can.

+1. Professional help does seem the way to go here. Good luck.

[MIJ-VI]

Drink or think. Period.

[Skitch it!]

The insomnia and ability to out-drink (especially on gig's, with no change in performance for me) with 'borderline' personality changes? Sounds like me a few years back, Bipolar manic phase......that was me, combined with a lot of other dangerous stunts and unfeeling emotional incidents.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy = learning to trust, a window to realize this may be deep-seeded emotional unresolved turmoil? Realization is the best start to why your hitting the 'crutch' imo. May I ask if there is any previous history of alcoholism in your genetics? ; )

[Relic]

You'll be fine. You know that you drink too much, you know that it's causing you a lot of problems and you know that seeing a shrink is a good idea. Make sure you talk to the shrink and follow through on everything the doc tells you.

Your problem for as bad as it seems, isn't at all beyond hope - it's when you don't know or don't realize or don't care that you're beyond hope. I have seen this in people and it's pretty sad.
As I said, you'll be fine but it will require some hard work. You need to pull your arse out of this rut! We're here for you dude, but you need to stop with the drinking and start living right. NOW.

[PSPookie]

You need to quit drinking and find a better way of dealing with life. It's time to give up the high cost of low living. I've been through a lot of this myself. The early stages of sorting this stuff out can be pretty tough but the long-run payoff will far exceed your hopes and expectations.

Shoot me a PM any time if you want advice, to vent, or just to talk.

[Jonyak]

I dropped out of university my first time around. it didn't ruin my life.

[DudeistMonk]

I did it for awhile, would have kept at it if my insurance didn't get all greedy about it.

It definitely helped to have someone to vent to every week, without burdening my friends or getting the same old crap from ma. By the time it was over I was much better for it and didn't really need it, but I still liked to go.

In my case I've always been smart enough to come to Freudian assumptions about my life and to see conflicts in advance, which also makes me paranoid enough to worry about them and predisposed to having them come true (sort of like a self fulfilling prophecy). I needed someone to ease my social insecurities, validate my moral standings (I'm an atheist), help me come to terms with my catholic guilt (that stuff will haunt you), and empower me to embrace my true self despite the expectations of society.

Ps. No shame in switching you major if it's not worth it man... I was a comp sci major myself, I hated the math and I hated my CS 201 prof who didn't speak a word of English (A+ in comp sci 1, F in comp sci 2)...after several switches I would up in comm arts and then I worked my web into the web industry backwards, and I'm doing quite well.

[Skitch it!]

I would definitely go and explain to your doctor everything that's happening with your problem, keep a 'mood diary' of your consumption, frame of mind, day and date. It's a structured way for a good diagnosis, cognitive therapy I feel is a good initial step, but a good early diagnosis is imperative I feel.

Some of us in everyday life when faced with our demons, we clothe and we feed them...everything one step at a time, I wish you well man, take it easy with yourself ; )

[Jim Nazium]

Bro, please see a psychiatrist ASAP. There's no shame in it, it doesn't mean you have some kind of moral weakness. If you had cancer you would go see a doctor, right? Well, I have news for you: you do have a life threatening health situation. One of my cousins died in his 30's from cirrhosis of the liver from alcoholism. It's no laughing matter. Talk therapy may help, and antidepressant or mood stabilizing medication may help too; but please consult an expert (a doctor).

I would further recommend that you leave the university for now and devote your full attention to your pschological / emotional health. Taking 7 classes and feeling the pressure to pass them all adds a lot of stress to your life, which only makes it more likely that you will drink. Get a handle on this stuff, and go back to the university when you are really ready. It will still be there.

This is your life, bro. It could not be more serious. Good luck.

[Relic]

Originally Posted by Jonyak

I dropped out of university my first time around. it didn't ruin my life.

Well good for you
There's a little more here at stake then university.

[kesslari]

Merhaba MG,

No shame in getting help. If you had diabetes, you'd see a doctor. If amp fizzled you'd take it to a tech. All without shame.

Get started in therapy. Get a recommendation for a therapist if you can - perhaps from your regular doctor. 12 step programs are also phenomenally powerful to help you stop drinking (and continue to stay "stopped"). Your therapist may also recommend that - it's a darn good idea.

It may be a bumpy road, especially at first. But it's a road that leads somewhere good, unlike the road that you're on right now.

Good luck with this. Please get well.

[Strat-Mangler]

Trusting issues can really screw your life, man. A shrink will get you some new perspective. Most people don't know themselves as well as they should. He'll be able to help you figure out where these issues stem from and from that point, you'll get some solutions.

Don't fall into the trap of thinking that it'll be easy or quick to get some resolution on these major issues. Having said that, self-improvement is always something I salute. Too many people either accept their fundamental flaws or don't care enough to want to fix them. So congrats on taking the first step. Just like a diet, it's easier to start than to stick with it, so just remember that (just like a diet), the payoff can be seen much better after some time and effort has been invested.

Surround yourself with friends and family and make sure to communicate to them that you know you have a bunch of things to work on and that you're getting some help. Even if you've pissed them off, they'll be more receptive after they get news that you're helping yourself become a better healthier person.

Hang in there, buddy. You can do it!

[UncleFluffy]

Originally Posted by machine gewehr

What I wonder is,what does TB OT think of having therapy like this,do you have therapy on a regular basis?I know that many people do it,it is said that it is a necessaty of our modern day life also.

I did a fair chunk of it in my 20s and a couple of patches since then when bad stuff has happened and I've wanted to clean up the mess without dumping it on the people around me.

Something's wrong ... you get off your ass and fix it. No shame there, and self-knowledge has rewards far beyond removing the need for self-destructive behaviour.

Congratulations on deciding to do this. The only advice I can give is that different styles (and different therapists) work for different people. Be prepared to try multiple methods and multiple people until you find what works best for you.

[shadowtippy]

See the shrink.
I think your friends here at TB will be very supportive of you, also. Sure, a person can get slammed pretty good here, but this bunch can be great in times of need.

[bassteban]

Go to the Doc- it's your idea, you know you're right. Keep us posted- it may sound cheesey/BS but many of us really do care.

[karrot-x]

Drink more sleep less.

I average 3 hours of sleep now. Microcontrollers, device driver design, robotics, and senior design.

[PSPookie]

Originally Posted by karrot-x

Drink more sleep less.

I average 3 hours of sleep now. Microcontrollers, device driver design, robotics, and senior design.

Yeah, that sounds like an ideal solution to the problem he described