Serious question ; Do some of you guys really go through this crap?

Strat-Mangler · #1 12-14-2011, 05:22 AM

This might seem as if I'm being glib, but I'm genuinely wondering if people actually go through this crap or if it's exaggerated for the purpose of humor.

I'm talking about relationships and the things that guys will do or endure from their girlfriend/wife.

For instance ;

1) Being "forced" to watch a movie you despise (i.e. chick flick) with your girl. Why would anybody ever force their partner to be miserable for 2h just so they're not alone for that period of time? Of course, the reverse is also true. Why would any guy "force" his girl to watch the latest blow-'em-up blockbuster if he knows she'll hate the experience? Seems entirely selfish and counterproductive and it could only lead to resentment... yet I've heard of this many a time.

2) Sleeping on the couch. Huh??? Why would anybody let their partner dictate to them where they will sleep? This is some twisted couples version of "being grounded" right here. It's so screwed up in a million ways that I don't know where to begin. If the girl would have such a problem with sharing a bed, it'd be up to *her* to move. Are there that many "whipped" guys?

3) A related point ; lack of communication. More often than not, I see either insinuation to the effect of or either blatant mention of total lack of communication between the 2 people in a couple whenever a conflict occurs. There will be silent treatment, passive-aggressive behavior, and lots of "I was in the doghouse for 2 weeks" remarks. Are people so afraid of sitting down to talk or are they stuck with partners with the maturity level of a 5yo child? Baffles the mind.

4) Hiding gear purchases, lying about them, etc. Really? Some guys don't have the balls to say "This is the money I earned and I can spend it any damn way I want?" Are you serious? If you know you, as a couple, can't afford it then don't buy it! If you can and everything else has been financially taken care of, buy it and enjoy. Why can't a grown man buy a bass or anything else he wants without acting cowardly, lying, hiding, etc.?

I could go on & on...

I really am wondering if people actually say or insinuate those things out of humor or if that's really the situation they're in. Doesn't sound too realistic that people would stick around if things were this bad : walking on eggshells, being "parented" by your partner, swimming through a river of negative emotions, and being restricted in oh-so many ways.

It just seems as though I read about this so often on msg boards and it makes me wonder if they're inside jokes that people are making or if they're really going through crap like this and simply taking it.

Luckily, I don't know anybody who's subjected to this sort of situation.

Jonyak · #2 12-14-2011, 05:36 AM

Alot of men are P***y whipped.

T-Bird · #3 12-14-2011, 05:46 AM

Hi.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonyak

Alot of men are P***y whipped.

And the rest are...?

To OP, judging by Your profile, I'd assume that when you reach your 20's, you'll know plenty of such people.

It's just a matter of the pros outweighing the cons, and that's a condition called life.

Regards
Sam

Tituscrow · #4 12-14-2011, 05:55 AM

Ok, a lengthy reply to a lengthy question:

Oh damn...wife's just come home...quick...think...delete history...turn music off...wash dishes...get dressed...

**cheezewiz** · #5 12-14-2011, 06:16 AM

I went through all those things with my ex wife. My current wife is an absolutely wonderful partner and all those things, big and small, are in my past.

Big_Daddy · #6 12-14-2011, 06:28 AM

Thankfully, my girlfriend and I don't go through that crap. It could definitely happen, but we try and avoid drama. We'll always try and avoid going to bed angry (therefor avoiding the dog house). As for chick flicks, I'll sit through a 2 hour estrogen fueled movie of it makes her happy. She'll the same for a war documentary for a toilet humor flick.

I suppose we're still together after all these years because of it.

Strat-Mangler · #7 12-14-2011, 06:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T-Bird

To OP, judging by Your profile, I'd assume that when you reach your 20's, you'll know plenty of such people.

I'm 34 and know absolutely nobody like this.

whitefuneral · #8 12-14-2011, 06:39 AM

Sit around for two hours for a bit of action maybe

iamlowsound · #9 12-14-2011, 07:33 AM

I'll watch a chick flick with my wife, but we don't do the other things. Relationships are comprised of some compromise, and it occurs on both ends.

lowsound

macaroni tony · #10 12-14-2011, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T-Bird

It's just a matter of the pros outweighing the cons, and that's a condition called life.

Regards
Sam

This is what it is. Also, in most cases (at least in mine; I would assume it's also the case in most), the phrase "The wife made me...." is used in jest.

Tmw2011 · #11 12-14-2011, 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamlowsound

Relationships are comprised of some compromise, and it occurs on both ends.

Ding ding ding ding... We have a winner...

BurningSkies · #12 12-14-2011, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamlowsound

I'll watch a chick flick with my wife, but we don't do the other things. Relationships are comprised of some compromise, and it occurs on both ends.

lowsound

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tmw2011

Ding ding ding ding... We have a winner...

I'll watch a movie that I don't really care about or want to see because I happen to love Mz. Skies and like to be with her. She also does things with me that she doesn't particularly dig, because she knows I like them, and it really has nothing to do with what's between either of our legs.

I'm not her lapdog and she's not mine. But if you're always going to be so self centered and selfish as to only do what you want and never do things your 'partner' wants, you're probably never going to have a meaningful relationship.

WalterBush · #13 12-14-2011, 08:45 AM

Yes, communication between people in general and couples in particular is a not-quite lost art. And yes, there are lots of selfish people out there who will only do things that result in their own happiness, and they try to have "relationships", which usually turns out to mean "I'll stay with you as long as you make me happy."

There are still plenty of people who know how to talk to one another without getting into an argument or "punishing" the other party with couch time etc, and who know how to put someone else's happiness above theirs, though. They just tend not to grab as much attention as the former. IME and all that.

Chebass88 · #14 12-14-2011, 08:46 AM

It doesn't happen with me and my wife. We are pretty good about compromises.

As for sleeping on the couch - it is more likely because one of us fell asleep watching a movie, and the other went up to bed. Also, my wife can snore pretty loud. Sometimes the couch helps with sleeping.

Funky Ghost · #15 12-14-2011, 08:49 AM

The alternative is to follow my uncles sage advice "If it don't smell good it ain't goo..." no no that's not it.

"If you find a woman who can put up with your shiznit, don't look any further. There is no greener pasture than a woman who accepts you for you, foibles and all."

That's not to say that compromise doesn't come during the course of a relationship, because that is the single biggest thing to learn if you want to last more than 5 years, but far too many people ( men and woman ) know they have some issues before they get married or shack up and figure they will get better over time. They rarely do.

If you put your self behind another person in a relationship, you will always be playing catch up. If it started that way, they will see it as normal. YOU are responsible if this is the case. If it ended up that way, again, YOU are responsible because you failed to communicate your wants/needs and reach a mutually acceptable outcome.

I've been in two failed marriages. I was in both situations and it took a long time to understand I was responsible. I'm now very happy and with a person who I can enjoy life and all it's ups and downs with. It's funny. It takes less work to keep it going, but I work harder at it than I ever did before. And I feel great about that.

Phalex · #16 12-14-2011, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonyak

Alot of men are P***y whipped.

You can't be P***y whipped without the P***y. As far as being whipped goes, I'll take it above other forms.

5StringBlues · #17 12-14-2011, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by macaroni tony

in most cases (at least in mine; I would assume it's also the case in most), the phrase "The wife made me...." is used in jest.

His wife made him say that.

macaroni tony · #18 12-14-2011, 08:54 AM

pedroims · #19 12-14-2011, 08:56 AM

1) My wife only enjoy romance, comedy kind of type movies, I ALWAYS fall asleep when I watch them with her, not big deal for her, if happens that I want to watch a Tarantino's movie she will be ok but she will walk away one minute after the movie started not big deal for me.

2) I sleep in the couch when I am watching movies with my wife, she knows that once I fall asleep she must not try to wake me up unless: something is wrong with the kids, the house is burning or she wants to make love. Thats is the only reason to sleep in the couch.

3) She does not need to tell me everything neither I want to know it, this work both ways.

4) Oh boy, when you have a woman and kids, that ''it is my money'' sentence is BS, it is not your money anymore, is your family money, you will get it when you have kids.

Phalex · #20 12-14-2011, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pedroims

4) Oh boy, when you have a woman and kids, that ''it is my money'' sentence is BS, it is not your money anymore, is your family money, you will get it when you have kids.

+1! Even if you don't have kids, it's our money. I've known people that have done the mine and yours thing, but none of them are married anymore.