Serious talk with my former boss

Axtman · #1 12-21-2010, 09:37 AM

I am having lunch today with my former boss. I was let go about 1-1/2 months ago after 9-1/2 years at the firm.

I bumped into my boss a week or so ago while downtown looking for a job. He said that he felt badly about what happened and we agreed to have lunch. BTW he was not the guy that fired me but is a partner in the firm so he was in on the decision. Though come to think of it maybe he did let the other partner do all the decision making on staff hiring and firing.

My goal is to find out some of the real reasons why I was let go. I was told "poor performance" which is too general and vague to be any use to me. I am not trying to dwell in the past but learn about my issues (challenges?) so that I can correct them on my future job.

Any advice would be appreciated.

ThudThudThud · #2 12-21-2010, 09:39 AM

Order the lobster.

Jim Nazium · #3 12-21-2010, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axtman

My goal is to find out some of the real reasons why I was let go. I was told "poor performance" which is too general and vague to be any use to me. I am not trying to dwell in the past but learn about my issues (challenges?) so that I can correct them on my future job.

I think you said it very well right there. I would repeat that verbatim, then sit back and listen.

It probably goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: whatever you do, don't get into an argument. If you disagree with what he says, just thank him for his opinion and move on. You never know when you will run into someone again. Don't burn bridges.

EricF · #4 12-21-2010, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Nazium

I think you said it very well right there. I would repeat that verbatim, then sit back and listen.

It probably goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway: whatever you do, don't get into an argument. If you disagree with what he says, just thank him for his opinion and move on. You never know when you will run into someone again. Don't burn bridges.

This. All of it.

MJ5150 · #5 12-21-2010, 10:03 AM

Where are you guys having lunch?

-Mike

Yerf Dog · #6 12-21-2010, 10:07 AM

What was your job description?

GeneralElectric · #7 12-21-2010, 10:10 AM

Get yourself one of these:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Welrod

MooneyDriver · #8 12-21-2010, 10:20 AM

I'm sorry to hear about the situation. There are so many similar stories out there. Take the opportunity to find closure and move on...

Jim Campbell · #9 12-21-2010, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axtman

I am having lunch today with my former boss. I was let go about 1-1/2 months ago after 9-1/2 years at the firm.

I bumped into my boss a week or so ago while downtown looking for a job. He said that he felt badly about what happened and we agreed to have lunch. BTW he was not the guy that fired me but is a partner in the firm so he was in on the decision. Though come to think of it maybe he did let the other partner do all the decision making on staff hiring and firing.

My goal is to find out some of the real reasons why I was let go. I was told "poor performance" which is too general and vague to be any use to me. I am not trying to dwell in the past but learn about my issues (challenges?) so that I can correct them on my future job.

Any advice would be appreciated.

my view is to move on.....i've seen lots of good people get dumped for as many reasons as there are people...your ex boss may not have had the final word,but you really have no evidence to think that he stood up for you in that meeting.....

i watched my former boss dump nearly every competent co worker in the department,in favor of guys who could be blamed for his errors,owed money,had addictions etc.....his way to cement his position was to keep his guys away from the bosses,so that he could convince them that without him the whole gang of malcontents could not be controlled....every time i got someone good to work with they got replaced with idiots who made my day harder.....poor performance can mean anything,and i doubt if a guy that sat in on a meeting where you wound up fired is going to tell you anything

Axtman · #10 12-21-2010, 11:49 AM

BTW, I consider the partner that I am going to lunch with more than a boss and kind of a friend....if that makes any sense. I have been over to his house for dinner and his wife was the realtor for my new house.

MJ5150 · #11 12-21-2010, 11:58 AM

So where you guys going for lunch? I'm not going to show up, just wondering what you decided on.

If it were me, I wouldn't even bring up the past and why I was let go. Let the other guy bring it up if he wants to.

-Mike

macaroni tony · #12 12-21-2010, 11:58 AM

Looks like you got a good deal here...as was already stated, find out what you could have done differently and anything else you can learn that will help you in the future. Order the lobster and a good Cabernet. Don't argue; if he says anything that you don't agree with, do some soul searching to figure out what you did (or how you acted) that would lead him to that conclusion. Chances are, the next people you work for will probably get the same wrong idea if you do the same things you did before

Axtman · #13 12-21-2010, 12:09 PM

MJ5150,

We are going to Elliot's Oyster House on Pier 56. You can stop by if you want and eavesdrop.

It is going to be a delicate dance as far as conversation goes.

I know this guys style pretty well and he has a tendency to get off topic and talk about himself. He also is the type that thinks out loud and talks through problems. Sometimes there is a lot of talk and little action.

Anyhow, wish me luck and I will report back.

**Bipslapper** · #14 12-21-2010, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJ5150

If it were me, I wouldn't even bring up the past and why I was let go. Let the other guy bring it up if he wants to.

-Mike

Very good point, let him bring it up. It can't hurt to show you have moved on (even if you haven't landed the job you want), and display good positive energy.

On the other hand, if things go south be sure to order the best booze and a few doggie bags and put it on the Underhill's tab.

MJ5150 · #15 12-21-2010, 12:11 PM

I'm not sure I would want to know. There is also the possibility that this friend comes clean and says something like....."it had nothing to do with performance, the secretary thought you were a prick when you didn't hold open the elevator for her one day when it was raining so she told the boss. The boss agreed, and we decided to let you go."

-Mike

MJ5150 · #16 12-21-2010, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axtman

We are going to Elliot's Oyster House on Pier 56.

Great choice. If nothing else, the meal will be enjoyable for sure.

Maybe I should stop by dressed up like how Jim Carrey was in Cable Guy when he beat up Robin's new boyfriend.

-Mike

Axtman · #17 12-21-2010, 03:15 PM

So the lunch went as well as expected. I had the Coho salmon with cajun spices, polenta and undercooked green beans. No booze....just ice tea.

My bosses did want feedback on how the firm dealt with the situation. He explained that people had problems with me meeting deadlines, communication, and timely edits. All of which were true. I explained to him that I was overloaded and was too much of a people pleaser to say no to someone even though I sometimes could not come through.

My boss did agree that they should have worked with me more to get better performance out of me and probably hastily cut me loose. He also agreed that the firing was not handled as professional as it should have. (If you may remember from a previous thread, I read an advertisement for my position online.)

Anyhow I got as much closure as I expected and learned a little bit about myself.

chondro776 · #18 12-21-2010, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axtman

He said that he felt badly about what happened

Screw all this nice stuff. I smell blood in the water. Record the encounter and work it into a wrongful termination suit.

I am totally, sort of, kind of, kidding.
(But not really).

MJ5150 · #19 12-21-2010, 04:25 PM

Good to hear it went well. I don't see any breaking news stories on KING or KOMO about someone going berserk on the waterfront this afternoon.

-Mike

Axtman · #20 12-21-2010, 04:26 PM

I actually went to the office and bumped into my replacement. I was totally unimpressed. There is no way that he is or will be as good as me. There probably is a possibility that I will be hired on contract. If so I will make a lot of money off of them!

Anyhow on to better things!