Should I be with her

[Ziltoid]

You mad?

[Tituscrow]

Originally Posted by mellowinman

No they aren't.

Yes, they are. You make a BIG point of saying how you WOULD NOT seek advice from strangers on the Internet, yet you try and come across all sage-like and wordly-wise by GIVING advice.

Whatever, Trevor.

Carry on

[MakiSupaStar]

Originally Posted by mellowinman

"Loose" is a JUDGMENT.

She's made it abundantly clear that she hasn't seen a reason to be monogamous as of yet.

And she may be well justified in feeling that way.

You don't know, because you don't know her. You are projecting your own experiences onto a person you have never met, which many of you do frequently on this board.

I did some of the same.

But at least I know it.

I have dated one or two "loose" women who were very VERY good girls.

And I have dated MORE than one or two "honorable" (or whatever you guys call it) women who were snakes in the grass.

Life is too complicated for pat judgments, which is why I would never seek advice on the internet.

I believe I referenced THAT in my first post.

Some of you here have formed kind of a "club" and a bit of "groupthink."

I am always happy when I can have you all thinking of a different perspective, right or wrong.

Some of you ARE unclear about women, and the nature of friendship.

It doesn't matter if you are IN LOVE with someone, because that is only about YOU.

If they are your FRIEND, they are your friend no matter what romantic feelings you may have.

Could you have a friendship with a woman you judge to be "loose?"

And what if that friendship developed into something more?

The OP deserves more respect than to get hackneyed, cliched answers from people who are only projecting their own lives onto that of a stranger.

At least if we're going to do that to him, let's give him alternate points of view; something different than the circle jerk this forum usually displays.

Yes, I think I'm all wonderful or something, simply by threatening the group with a different perspective.

Whatever, boys.

Play on!

Yngie4string is that you?

[Munjibunga]

Originally Posted by mellowinman

No they aren't.

Yes they are.

[guy n. cognito]

Originally Posted by Ziltoid

You mad?

Definitely not mellow......

[klejst]

Originally Posted by rollerberg2000

If problems staying faithfull falls into the category of wonderful in all ways, then yes, go for it.

I would personally have a problem with it, but if you don't, hey, different strokes for different folks and all that.

Under no circumstances take this on if you think you can change her or make her stay faithfull.

She sound like she's being pretty open and upfront about things, so I like her already.

+1. I give her some props for being very upfront and honest with you. If you are alright being with someone you know is probably not 100% (or 45% for that matter) dedicated then sounds great if you really want to be with her. I would never involve myself with someone like that but that is me. Not judging and I don't know her, but I would thank her for her honesty and find someone else.

[spector_boogie]

hit it then move on. get it out of your system but don't think she's going to be all yours when she's telling you blatantly she won't.

those kinda chicks haven't been snagged by someone (possibly) better than you for a reason, and not a lack of options. i've been there before too but it just isn't gonna work out unless you're open as others have said to sharing her to other dudes (which again also, is already happening lol).

[macaroni tony]

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

Wait, did she cheat on her current boyfriend....with you?

Originally Posted by Ryan L.

If so, chances are, she will do the same to him..........

There's an Usher song from the 90s in here somewhere...

[macaroni tony]

Originally Posted by ghostrider

So this year I met this beautiful young lady that I think is absolutely wonderful in all ways. She has told me that she has a problem with staying faithful. She says that she wants to be in a monogamous relationship, yet she feels as if she cannot receive the sexual and emotional pleasure she wants. I want to be with her. I'm having a hard time deciding what my plan of action should be. Advice would be great. Any thoughts or suggestions?

I'll offer up some advice since you asked...cut your losses and find someone else.

You can't change her stripes; even if she goes a couple of months or whatever without sleeping around, chances are she'll go back to whatever her own ways are. Unless she's had this earth-shattering inner change that no one knows about but you and her, which I doubt. If I'm wrong, then hey

[NOAH_FX]

Originally Posted by mellowinman

Well, I'm more of a Jungian, so there will be no blaming mother HERE.

Don't know why i found this so funny, but i did.

[LiquidMidnight]

Originally Posted by mellowinman

"Loose" is a JUDGMENT.

She's made it abundantly clear that she hasn't seen a reason to be monogamous as of yet.

And she may be well justified in feeling that way.

You don't know, because you don't know her. You are projecting your own experiences onto a person you have never met, which many of you do frequently on this board.

I did some of the same.

But at least I know it.

I have dated one or two "loose" women who were very VERY good girls.

And I have dated MORE than one or two "honorable" (or whatever you guys call it) women who were snakes in the grass.

Life is too complicated for pat judgments, which is why I would never seek advice on the internet.

I believe I referenced THAT in my first post.

Some of you here have formed kind of a "club" and a bit of "groupthink."

I am always happy when I can have you all thinking of a different perspective, right or wrong.

Some of you ARE unclear about women, and the nature of friendship.

It doesn't matter if you are IN LOVE with someone, because that is only about YOU.

If they are your FRIEND, they are your friend no matter what romantic feelings you may have.

Could you have a friendship with a woman you judge to be "loose?"

And what if that friendship developed into something more?

The OP deserves more respect than to get hackneyed, cliched answers from people who are only projecting their own lives onto that of a stranger.

At least if we're going to do that to him, let's give him alternate points of view; something different than the circle jerk this forum usually displays.

Yes, I think I'm all wonderful or something, simply by threatening the group with a different perspective.

Whatever, boys.

Play on!

I think you should have used bullet points.

[6jase5]

[One Drop]

I make no claim to being correct or having a better understanding of this woman or women in general, or of the OP. I've tried to give advice based on my experience, with the caveat that everyone is different and what is good for the goose is not necessarily so for the gander.

I think the rest of us here that have been giving similar advice are not victims of groupthink, rather that there are some things that are so evident and common and have been borne out by experience for so long and in so many places that general agreement can be reached on a thread like this.

If mellowinman had merely stated his case rather than insisting he is the only one who has the real truth, and told the OP not to listen to advice on the Internet unless it was coming from him, then there would be no argument, merely an exchange of opinions and advice meant in the spirit of helping the poor guy out.

[LiquidMidnight]

Originally Posted by One Drop

I make no claim to being correct or having a better understanding of this woman or women in general, or of the OP. I've tried to give advice based on my experience, with the caveat that everyone is different and what is good for the goose is not necessarily so for the gander.

I think the rest of us here that have been giving similar advice are not victims of groupthink, rather that there are some things that are so evident and common and have been borne out by experience for so long and in so many places that general agreement can be reached on a thread like this.

If mellowinman had merely stated his case rather than insisting he is the only one who has the real truth, and told the OP not to listen to advice on the Internet unless it was coming from him, then there would be no argument, merely an exchange of opinions and advice meant in the spirit of helping the poor guy out.

This.

[DwaynieAD]

Originally Posted by macaroni tony

There's an Usher song from the 90s in here somewhere...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NFnKgIptbq0

[macaroni tony]

Actually, I was thinking of

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ny0uQQq3bw

Hmm. My 90s R&B must be getting fuzzy

[EricF]

Originally Posted by ghostrider

So this year I met this beautiful young lady that I think is absolutely wonderful in all ways. She has told me that she has a problem with staying faithful. She says that she wants to be in a monogamous relationship, yet she feels as if she cannot receive the sexual and emotional pleasure she wants. I want to be with her. I'm having a hard time deciding what my plan of action should be. Advice would be great. Any thoughts or suggestions?

@Matticus - I think this guy met your ex-wife.

[hrodbert696]

Wow are we still discussing this?

[Ziltoid]

Babar!

[hrodbert696]

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