Should I be with her

[UncleFluffy]

Originally Posted by hrodbert696

Of course sex is a moral issue. Everything you do is a moral issue. Every time you decide to do X rather than Y, you are making a judgment that X is better than Y. That's a moral judgment.

Sure, no disagreement here. But to say that there is a moral aspect to sex is a completely different type of statement to the judgmental and absolutist "casual sex is immoral" position I was responding to.

Some people can handle sex as sweaty, happy, friendly exercise - some people can only handle it as part of a deeper emotional connection - some can move between the two depending on context. Not everyone is wired the same, so claims of a universal moral standard for private behaviour are very hard to justify.

[LiquidMidnight]

Originally Posted by hrodbert696

If it were no more intense of an experience than eating a cheeseburger, we wouldn't bother with sex, we'd just eat cheeseburgers - way less involvement and hassle.

I've had some cheeseburgers that were as good as sex. Naturally, they were a bit more than the average value meal cheeseburgers from McDonald's.

[DwaynieAD]

Originally Posted by LiquidMidnight

I've had some cheeseburgers that were as good as sex. Naturally, they were a bit more than the average value meal cheeseburgers from McDonald's.

cheeburger cheeburger with onion rings and bbq sauce.

[rr5025]

Originally Posted by Scott1

I disagree. Being sexually loose does imply a character defect. It means, at the least, that one hasn't learned self control. Anything goes as long as I feel good about it? No, there are morals, even if folks choose not to live them or believe they should be constrained by them, they still exist.

Now, I'm not a hater. It's OK with me if someone wants to be immoral, just call it what it is and be done with it. Petty justifications are not required, nor is my approval.

I'll take your bait. I'm what you define as "loose" so what's my character defect?

Morals are bs they're just labels people like to apply so they can feel superior to other people. The only true measure between moral and immoral is the intent of your actions. If you have knowingly and purposefully set out to harm another being then that is "immoral".

Like Mohawk said sex can be an emotional thing. It can always be two people banging like animals. As long as they are on the same page no harm no foul.

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by Bloodhammer

you do realize that this same reasoning could be employed for talking someone into robbing a convenience store, right?

You know you wanna...

[ghostrider]

Originally Posted by Tat2dHeart

I think, given his last post and the fact that he's been silent since, that the OP has made up his mind that she's hot enough to account for all the kinds of crazy she's gonna heap on him and for his broken heart and busted bank account. And if that kind of hot is what is important to him, the more power to him. If you're gonna be stupid, you gotta be tough.

Well after a few reiterated pieces of advice it erupted into a conflict between morality and psychology. I have an idea of what I'm going to do.

[placedesjardins]

Originally Posted by ghostrider

Well after a few reiterated pieces of advice it erupted into a conflict between morality and psychology. I have an idea of what I'm going to do.

Either it's going to be "Happy Thanksgiving, Peace to you all" or "Nice knowing all's y'alls, I's is getting on the space escalator to hell".

[mellowinman]

Originally Posted by ghostrider

Well after a few reiterated pieces of advice it erupted into a conflict between morality and psychology. I have an idea of what I'm going to do.

With a pretty good helping of misogyny thrown in for good measure, as is wont to happen at this forum from time to time.

[MakiSupaStar]

Originally Posted by ghostrider

Well after a few reiterated pieces of advice it erupted into a conflict between morality and psychology. I have an idea of what I'm going to do.

Tap her and take pictures? It's the right thing to do.

[eddododo]

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Tap her and take pictures. It's the right thing to do.

Bwahaha

[Ibanezsr500]

Originally Posted by eddododo

Bwahaha

+1 LMAO.

[Indiana Mike]

I was with a cheater for years ,over a decade . Nothing made her happy ,she was always looking for satisfaction and could not find it ....still can't.
It caused me pain many times and finally I had enough and ended it . Actually she did but in the past she always came back after whatever she was doing got old . finally I divorced her before she knew what happened .

This will end painfully unless the OP just doesn't care .

I will say one if the times i was suprised to find strange panties in my bed .they didn't fit my ex . ....i never did get a straight answer on that one.

Have fun while it lasts !

[pacojas]

gee, Mike

i can relate. i had a girl like that and it was the best sex i've ever had. all my friends forewarned me and i just did not care.

actually, we were both cheaters. but,.. OMG!!!! SHANNIEEEEE!!!! I STILL LOVE YOU!!!!

ps: the first and ONLY girl to make me cry.
pss: i'm talking XXX sex and super fine w/$$$
psss: plus, she would bring her camcorder!!!!

[MatticusMania]

Why not try something new!

Theres nothing more intimate than you and your girl and her girl!

OP, I suggest you have pursue this girl and have lots of polyamorous fun.
Dont get too attached, be safe, have fun, and ride the wave.
Its going to hurt one way or another, you might as well enjoy it.

[turbo chicken]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Why not try something new!

Theres nothing more intimate than you and your girl and her girl!

OP, I suggest you have pursue this girl and have lots of polyamorous fun.
Dont get too attached, be safe, have fun, and ride the wave.
Its going to hurt one way or another, you might as well enjoy it.

^what he said annnnd... Yup she basically said she has a history of cheating from what you said in your first post.... so... you get yours she gets hers until she gets tired and does what she said she was already going to do...

heck this could very well turn into a friends with bennies situation if you can keep yourself from being attached...

[Scott1]

Originally Posted by rr5025

I'll take your bait. I'm what you define as "loose" so what's my character defect?

Morals are bs they're just labels people like to apply so they can feel superior to other people. The only true measure between moral and immoral is the intent of your actions. If you have knowingly and purposefully set out to harm another being then that is "immoral".

Like Mohawk said sex can be an emotional thing. It can always be two people banging like animals. As long as they are on the same page no harm no foul.

Really, It is not my intention to bait the subject, I have no agenda. You'll probably also notice that I admit to lots of immoral behavior in my life and I was not judging the behavior at all. My only point was, we all know what immoral behavior is, but for some reason we are not comfortable with that label being put onto our actions and thereby onto us. I have no such discomfort. Actions are what they are, no spin required.

Intent? Since when has intent ever been a justification for anything? Ever see intent work as a defense in court? Who cares what ones intent is, the outcome of the action is what counts. I'm sure you've heard of many instances of good intentions gone wrong.

You think morals are BS to make others feel superior to you. That sort of implies a guilt reaction and putting yourself in a position of justification because you DO have knowledge of what they are basing their statements on.

I have not defined "loose", but you have; and in absence of my definition you have taken offense and bristled. Sorry.
I will define what I think is sexually loose. I feel it is indescriminate sex, purely for sex sake. Doesn't matter who, just as long as they have sex organs. I would use my hand, but I guess you're hear so OK let's hit it.
I know what that's like, been there and bought the shirt. But I never though I was being moral in any way shape or form, nor did I feel the need for someone else to approve of my actions.

That was my only point. Be as immoral as you like, just don't call the actions moral.

Personally, I do think there are advantages to living a moral life. We do not have to gravitate to the lowest animal levels of our being and dwell there; but that's everyone's personal decision. I'm no hater.

[Scott1]

Originally Posted by UncleFluffy

Sure, no disagreement here. But to say that there is a moral aspect to sex is a completely different type of statement to the judgmental and absolutist "casual sex is immoral" position I was responding to.

Some people can handle sex as sweaty, happy, friendly exercise - some people can only handle it as part of a deeper emotional connection - some can move between the two depending on context. Not everyone is wired the same, so claims of a universal moral standard for private behaviour are very hard to justify.

Judgemental and absolutist? Hardly, you have completely missed my point, which I restated in another post above. If, after reading it, you still disagree that's fine but realize the labels are not being tossed around by me. There has been no hate coming from me.

You say there are moral aspects to sex. What are they?

[Scott1]

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Why not try something new!

Theres nothing more intimate than you and your girl and her girl!

OP, I suggest you have pursue this girl and have lots of polyamorous fun.
Dont get too attached, be safe, have fun, and ride the wave.
Its going to hurt one way or another, you might as well enjoy it.

That is true, it was great; was in one for three years.

The problem in the end was jealousy between the women (just try and divide your time "equally". lol). No matter what we think, we are just not as 'sophisticated' at our cores as we think we are. At least that has been my experience.

[UncleFluffy]

Originally Posted by Scott1

Judgemental and absolutist? Hardly, you have completely missed my point, which I restated in another post above. If, after reading it, you still disagree that's fine but realize the labels are not being tossed around by me. There has been no hate coming from me.

Errr .... you described casual sex as "immoral". That's labeling. It's also a moral judgement therefore judgmental, and the absence of criteria for the judgment makes it absolutist.

Plus, insulting to those who behave that way.

Originally Posted by Scott1

My only point was, we all know what immoral behavior is

And many people here are disagreeing with you. You have a list of behaviors that you label as immoral, but that's your list, not mine or anyone else's.

Originally Posted by Scott1

Ever see intent work as a defense in court?

With a wide philosophical background like yours you should have come across the terms "Actus reus" and "Mens rea" somewhere along your journey, surely?

Originally Posted by Scott1

You say there are moral aspects to sex. What are they?

A lot of the same things as other human interactions - honesty, respect of boundaries, negotiating to ensure everyone's needs are met, that kind of thing. Plus an awareness that actions have (potential) consequences and acceptance of responsibility for those consequences. To me, whether casual sex is "moral" or "immoral" depends on those things, but I wouldn't claim that judgment as universal truth.

Would you do me the honor of answering a question in return? Why do you believe that casual sex is immoral? You've stated this several times in several ways, but haven't provided a supporting argument. Care to move from unsupported assertion to logically structured explanation?

Originally Posted by Scott1

We do not have to gravitate to the lowest animal levels of our being and dwell there;

No, but it's a great place for a vacation. Both Apollo and Dionysus get boring to hang out with after a while

[1SHOT1HIT]

I'm hoping to be VERY immoral here in a few minutes.

Not that it's really casual, I just know that I eagerly plan to aggressively devalue any lingering morals she may still have hanging around.