Situation

[HunterBrodt]

My friend recently proposed to his girl friend of 4 months and they are both 19. He recently dropped out of college, has no job, and has a bunch of marijuana related fines. Do I express my concern about the situation? He's been my best friend for years and I don't think it will affect our relationship in anyway. It seems to me that he's failed in other areas out of lack of motivation and now he's over compensating in this area of his life.

Any tips?

[Chef FourString]

Be a friend and smack him. Tell him of another point of view.

[DerHoggz]

Originally Posted by HunterBrodt

My friend recently proposed to his girl friend of 4 months and they are both 19. He recently dropped out of college, has no job, and has a bunch of marijuana related fines. Do I express my concern about the situation? He's been my best friend for years and I don't think it will affect our relationship in anyway. It seems to me that he's failed in other areas out of lack of motivation and now he's over compensating in this area of his life.

Any tips?

If you don't think it will hurt your relationship, why not.

Even if it could you definitely should IMO.

[totallyfrozen]

Originally Posted by HunterBrodt

My friend recently proposed to his girl friend of 4 months and they are both 19. He recently dropped out of college, has no job, and has a bunch of marijuana related fines. Do I express my concern about the situation? He's been my best friend for years and I don't think it will affect our relationship in anyway. It seems to me that he's failed in other areas out of lack of motivation and now he's over compensating in this area of his life.

Any tips?

I would talk to him about it. You're not a true friend if you don't. Friends are people you can trust to watch your back. As his friend, you can show you're watching his back by helping him take a look in the mirror.

[HunterBrodt]

I think his parents talked him out of it, or at least told him to wait. I found out last night and they must have talked to him then.

[Pilgrim]

You should level with him. If he's a friend, he will understand. If he doesn't understand, it really doesn't matter because you're doing your best to alert him to reality.

[kingpin2512]

Just hand him a ball and chain with a note saying congratz.

[hrodbert696]

Definitely talk about it. I would probably focus it on asking him questions, like where they are going to live (how's he - and his new wife - going to feel about living with his parents?), how they are going to pay the bills, what they're going to do if she gets pregnant, how does he know he can be committed for life to a girl he's only been dating 4 months? Hopefully that will wake him up a bit, and he'll be open to suggestions that he should wait a little while - and get his act together.

Some people, though, won't listen to sense and have to learn things the hard way. If that's the case, you'll have to wash your hands of it.

[hrodbert696]

Originally Posted by HunterBrodt

I think his parents talked him out of it, or at least told him to wait. I found out last night and they must have talked to him then.

Oh, just saw this -- good!

[MJ5150]

What are your concerns?

-Mike

[1958Bassman]

Originally Posted by HunterBrodt

My friend recently proposed to his girl friend of 4 months and they are both 19. He recently dropped out of college, has no job, and has a bunch of marijuana related fines. Do I express my concern about the situation? He's been my best friend for years and I don't think it will affect our relationship in anyway. It seems to me that he's failed in other areas out of lack of motivation and now he's over compensating in this area of his life.

Any tips?

YOU may not think it will affect your relationship but you're not the one who sees things the way he does. If he would rather get high and be fined for it, drop out of school, be unmotivated, have no job, live at home and generally have nothing going for him, what does he see as the good points in his life? He has been with his girlfriend for 4 months and he proposed to her- what does she have going for her? If she's basically the same, I see them living in squalor very soon.

[HunterBrodt]

Situation resolved itself, they decided to wait.