Smacking: I see your study and raise you another

[Mark Latimour]

Interesting:

Originally Posted by Herald Sun

Smacking your child leads to less self control say experts

PARENTS who smack their children could be depriving them of the skills they need to cope with school - and even with adulthood.

Children exposed to physical punishment have far less self-control than those spared punitive discipline, a study of children aged 3-6 has found.

They also fall short when it comes to verbal communication, decision making, and resisting temptation.

...

Australian psychologist Dr Bob Montgomery said many parents were clinging to outdated techniques.

"There's still this very strong popular myth that says smacking works, despite the hard evidence showing it doesn't," he said.

"The basic outcome of smacking kids for misbehaviour is they misbehave more, so all you're really doing is straining the relationship and giving the kids some pain for no good outcome."

Dr Montgomery, vice-president of Allied Health Professions Australia, said "civilised" forms of punishment, such as "time out from anything rewarding or interesting", were more effective.

Source: Smacking your child leads to less self control say experts | News.com.au

But, in 2010....

Originally Posted by The Telegraph

Smacked children more successful later in life, study finds


A study found that youngsters smacked up to the age of six did better at school and were more optimistic about their lives than those never hit by their parents.

They were also more likely to undertake voluntary work and keener to attend university, experts discovered.

...

Aric Sigman, a psychologist and author of The Spoilt Generation: Why Restoring Authority will Make our Children and Society Happier, told the Sunday Times: “The idea that smacking and violence are on a continuum is a bizarre and fetishised view of what punishment or smacking is for most parents.

“If it’s done judiciously by a parent who is normally affectionate and sensitive to their child, our society should not be up in arms about that. Parents should be trusted to distinguish this from a punch in the face.”

Source: Smacked children more successful later in life, study finds - Telegraph

So, do I want a more well adjusted kid with less self control, or a less well adjusted kid who is in control of themself? Quite the dilemna!

I don't know how parents do it!

[fhm555]

my dad explained his basic take on raising young children as the BTB method.

He says in adolescent children there is a giant nerve running directly from the butt to the brain, and occasional stimulation of the nerve on the butt end leads to increased attention on the brain end.

He also told me later in life from time to time he allowed us kids to get away with things we thought we had pulled off without his knowledge. He believed if you always failed you would quit trying.

[guy n. cognito]

Originally Posted by Mark Latimour

I don't know how parents do it!

Simple....stop listening to the talking heads and their agendas and do what works for your own child.

[macaroni tony]

Originally Posted by fhm555

my dad explained his basic take on raising young children as the BTB method.

He says in adolescent children there is a giant nerve running directly from the butt to the brain, and occasional stimulation of the nerve on the butt end leads to increased attention on the brain end.

He also told me later in life from time to time he allowed us kids to get away with things we thought we had pulled off without his knowledge. He believed if you always failed you would quit trying.

HAHAHA! Way to go dad!

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

Simple....stop listening to the talking heads and their agendas and do what works for your own child.

Si senor. Major +1

[VincentSalizeri]

Well, the second one gave sample size, time of interview, and what they were looking into. The first one didn't even mention much study information, it seemed to be about what the doctors decided from the study. Though it did mention where the study was published. I would like, if possible, to actually see the information found in each study before coming to any conclusions about either. Doctor's credentials, whether or not it was published in a peer-reviewed journal, etc. All of it factors in to how much credibility each one would get. Most importantly though, who funded the studies?

[R. Laevinus]

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

Simple....stop listening to the talking heads and their agendas and do what works for your own child.

See, I agree with your concept...

...except that you don't really know what works for your child until your child is no longer a child, at which point it's too late to go back and correct any errors or miscalculations you might have made.

[guy n. cognito]

Originally Posted by R. Laevinus

See, I agree with your concept...

...except that you don't really know what works for your child until your child is no longer a child, at which point it's too late to go back and correct any errors or miscalculations you might have made.

Well, anyone who can't evaluate their parenting style until their kid is grown and gone probably should have been neutered long ago.

Personally, I am constantly making tweaks to my parent style based on the behaviors and responses from my kids. I have no expectations that I will be perfect, but I certainly know better than some researcher with an agenda.

[PSPookie]

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

Simple....stop listening to the talking heads and their agendas and do what works for your own child.

+ a billion

I think this is interesting because I spanked my 19 month old for the 1st time, yesterday. I had taken my daughters (4 years and 19 months) to the neighborhood pool for a dip and we were headed home when Sophie decided that she would NOT hold daddy's hand and that she WOULD dash out into the parking lot.

Before she could take 2 steps that kid was snatched up and had a fresh handprint on her rear. I don't feel the least bit bad. I would much rather have a butthurt kid than a squished kid. Pookie don't play dat.

Or, I guess I could have reasoned with her as 2 tons of hot metalic death approached

Studies like the ones Mark cited have little value aside from the possible detection of aggregate trends. There really is no hard-and-fast rule on this one since each child reacts differently. Just use some (un)common sense.

[MJ5150]

The first thing I learned as a parent is that there is no "guide to parenting" book to refer to. You live and learn along the way just like your child does.

-Mike

[macaroni tony]

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

Personally, I am constantly making tweaks to my parent style based on the behaviors and responses from my kids. I have no expectations that I will be perfect, but I certainly know better than some researcher with an agenda.

This is too true, and all any parent can reasonably hope to do

[jmattbassplaya]

My older brother got spanked every so often. I got spanked once, or maybe twice at most. Some kids need it in order to fall in line, whereas you just had to look at me with a disapproving stare for me to get the hint.

[macaroni tony]

Originally Posted by PSPookie

+ a billion

I think this is interesting because I spanked my 19 month old for the 1st time, yesterday. I had taken my daughters (4 years and 19 months) to the neighborhood pool for a dip and we were headed home when Sophie decided that she would NOT hold daddy's hand and that she WOULD dash out into the parking lot.

Before she could take 2 steps that kid was snatched up and had a fresh handprint on her rear. I don't feel the least bit bad. I would much rather have a butthurt kid than a squished kid. Pookie don't play dat.

Or, I guess I could have reasoned with her as 2 tons of hot metalic death approached

Studies like the ones Mark cited have little value aside from the possible detection of aggregate trends. There really is no hard-and-fast rule on this one since each child reacts differently. Just use some (un)common sense.

[R. Laevinus]

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

Well, anyone who can't evaluate their parenting style until their kid is grown and gone probably should have been neutered long ago.

Personally, I am constantly making tweaks to my parent style based on the behaviors and responses from my kids. I have no expectations that I will be perfect, but I certainly know better than some researcher with an agenda.

I hear ya, I hear ya!

All I mean is, you can't truly evaluate somebody's life until they're dead. (Somebody famous said that; I can't remember who.) And also, I guess, you can never really be sure just how well-adjusted your child is until you see them doing battle with the human condition and the world we all live in, for themselves.

That's all I'm sayin'. Cheers for not taking offence where none was meant!

[guy n. cognito]

Originally Posted by R. Laevinus

I hear ya, I hear ya!

All I mean is, you can't truly evaluate somebody's life until they're dead. (Somebody famous said that; I can't remember who.) And also, I guess, you can never really be sure just how well-adjusted your child is until you see them doing battle with the human condition and the world we all live in, for themselves.

That's all I'm sayin'. Cheers for not taking offence where none was meant!

What a sad way to look at things. I evaluate my life all the time, and I'm most certain I'm not dead.

[Relic]

The secret is............. they both can be right. Anyone who uses only one form of discipline is running the risk of raising a little monster.
There's no secret, no real contradiction, no earth-shattering revelations..

[MJ5150]

Sending our kids over to a friends for the night, or to a relatives for the weekend was a good indicator to us how our parenting skills were coming along. Seeing/hearing how your child acts when you are not around can shed light on what they are really like.

-Mike

[PSPookie]

Originally Posted by R. Laevinus

I hear ya, I hear ya!

All I mean is, you can't truly evaluate somebody's life until they're dead. (Somebody famous said that; I can't remember who.) And also, I guess, you can never really be sure just how well-adjusted your child is until you see them doing battle with the human condition and the world we all live in, for themselves.

Sure, set it and forget it! Since we live in an inherently dynamic world, maybe we should be teaching people to be continually self-adjusting

[MatticusMania]

Originally Posted by MJ5150

The first thing I learned as a parent is that there is no "guide to parenting" book to refer to. You live and learn along the way just like your child does.

-Mike

Funny, I just came across this book called "An Idiots Guide to Child Rearing" I think it was written by a celebrity, so it must be right...

[macaroni tony]

^ Don't let him near that kid! He wants to rear your child!

[XtheDeadPawn]

Is it written by Wayne Gracy?