So - I'm now in charge of hiring a new employee at my company...

tastybasslines · #1 05-10-2011, 05:49 PM

Our office manager is leaving and my boss told me to hire whoever I thought would be good, as he is moving and just can't be involved. I'm in charge and its fun to be on the other side! Here is what I've noticed so far in the piles of resumes I've been combing through.

Observation#1:

I placed the ad just 2 hours ago, and have already received 90 responses. Conclusion = economy still sucks.

Observation#2:

Do not respond from your email address "baller4life69" if you are truly looking for employment.

Observation#3:

People are unable to follow directions. The ad I wrote reads "TO APPLY: COPY & PASTE RESUME (no attachments!!) into the body of an email and send. No candidates will be considered if you reply with your resume as an attachment."

(I can't be looking at 90 open word docs on my computer...)

So far, approximately 25% of the resumes submitted contain attachments.

Observation#4:

Do not spell your name like this, "JaNNeTTe". This is a professional company, not a digital playground.

Observation#5:

When I call to talk to you about our position, don't muffle the handset and yell, "Shut up N*$%A, it's about a job!" LMAO.

Of the 10 people I've spoken to so far, only about 1 -2 sound decent enough to actually bring in...

Fun stuff though.

ThatGermanDude · #2 05-10-2011, 05:56 PM

Just curious, what field is the company in?

coldfoot_luke · #3 05-10-2011, 05:59 PM

When I was a resteraunt manager and hired people, we had people apply for work every day and I was glad for ways to sort out the good from the bad before even looking at the application-

Drink at the bar before or after asking for application? Sort them out. Act like a jerk to the staff? No way.

Respond to text messages during the interview? Out.

Asking how much the workers party after work? Adios...

It would get frustrating, but it's something to laugh about later-

tastybasslines · #4 05-10-2011, 05:59 PM

Merchant Services/Payment Solutions/Finance

Hawaii Islander · #5 05-10-2011, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tastybasslines

Merchant Services/Payment Solutions/Finance

Collection agency?

tastybasslines · #6 05-10-2011, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coldfoot_luke

When I was a resteraunt manager and hired people, we had people apply for work every day and I was glad for ways to sort out the good from the bad before even looking at the application-

Drink at the bar before or after asking for application? Sort them out. Act like a jerk to the staff? No way.

Respond to text messages during the interview? Out.

Asking how much the workers party after work? Adios...

It would get frustrating, but it's something to laugh about later-

lol - they want to act like your friend from the outset...The thing is here, that the person that I'm hiring has to have some excellent attention to detail...and that's going to be the tough part.

tastybasslines · #7 05-10-2011, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hawaii Islander

Collection agency?

No - merchant accounts mostly. Allowing businesses to accept Visa/MC etc..

Hawaii Islander · #8 05-10-2011, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tastybasslines

No - merchant accounts mostly. Allowing businesses to accept Visa/MC etc..

Similar to Verifone services?

MJ5150 · #9 05-10-2011, 06:14 PM

When do you have to have someone hired by? Maybe you could set up a job fair.

-Mike

tastybasslines · #10 05-10-2011, 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hawaii Islander

Similar to Verifone services?

Verifone makes the terminals we sometimes process through.

They are not a payment processor, just an equipment manufacturer. If they do, I am not aware they offer processing services also.

jmorbita · #11 05-10-2011, 07:13 PM

sounds like you'll have some other fun stuff to add later on. I'll subscribe!

Sonic_Death · #12 05-10-2011, 07:26 PM

Out of curiosity, where did you post the job ad? Craigslist, or elsewhere?

MadMan118 · #13 05-10-2011, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tastybasslines

Our office manager is leaving and my boss told me to hire whoever I thought would be good, as he is moving and just can't be involved. I'm in charge and its fun to be on the other side! Here is what I've noticed so far in the piles of resumes I've been combing through.

Observation#1:

I placed the ad just 2 hours ago, and have already received 90 responses. Conclusion = economy still sucks.

Observation#2:

Do not respond from your email address "baller4life69" if you are truly looking for employment.

Observation#3:

People are unable to follow directions. The ad I wrote reads "TO APPLY: COPY & PASTE RESUME (no attachments!!) into the body of an email and send. No candidates will be considered if you reply with your resume as an attachment."

(I can't be looking at 90 open word docs on my computer...)

So far, approximately 25% of the resumes submitted contain attachments.

Observation#4:

Do not spell your name like this, "JaNNeTTe". This is a professional company, not a digital playground.

Observation#5:

When I call to talk to you about our position, don't muffle the handset and yell, "Shut up N*$%A, it's about a job!" LMAO.

Of the 10 people I've spoken to so far, only about 1 -2 sound decent enough to actually bring in...

Fun stuff though.

And thats how you filter out the people you don't want working for/with you. It is kinda scary to see how many people aren't put together enough to even get a job application together. Maybe its not the economy but the sheer number of stupid people

blendermassacre · #14 05-10-2011, 08:35 PM

want to hire me? I've got a professional resume, pro-active cover letter, a go getter attitude. I've applied to 500+ jobs since febuary and have gotten zilch back. It's probably one of the most disheartening things I've done in my whole life. I feel like I've been treading water for three solid months, trying to make ends meet, and I've only got pyramid scam insurance sales job replies from my posted resume. I had a promising lead that lead to temps being hired to save money (which is essentially what happened at my current job).

The economy blows.

dullsilver_mike · #15 05-10-2011, 09:02 PM

Wow. That's what the competition is putting out and I still can't even land an interview for jobs I'm over-qualified for?

PolkaHero · #16 05-10-2011, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blendermassacre

want to hire me? I've got a professional resume, pro-active cover letter, a go getter attitude. I've applied to 500+ jobs since febuary and have gotten zilch back. It's probably one of the most disheartening things I've done in my whole life. I feel like I've been treading water for three solid months, trying to make ends meet, and I've only got pyramid scam insurance sales job replies from my posted resume. I had a promising lead that lead to temps being hired to save money (which is essentially what happened at my current job).

The economy blows.

This has been my life for almost the past two years. Gotta love this wonderful state (Mish**gan) I live in!

tastybasslines · #17 05-10-2011, 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sonic_Death

Out of curiosity, where did you post the job ad? Craigslist, or elsewhere?

craigslist...

MrTAteMyBalls · #18 05-10-2011, 10:43 PM

Where I work, we have 4 positions open. Had 150 applicants. Started testing and interviews. Hired none. Not one person out of 150 qualified to work here. Makes me wonder how I got this job. I was one of 2 hired out of a pool of 400 apps. Methinks there are a lot of people out there with degrees but zero experience and zero common sense. A degree is just a piece of paper, it does not make you smart.

dullsilver_mike · #19 05-10-2011, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrTAteMyBalls

Where I work, we have 4 positions open. Had 150 applicants. Started testing and interviews. Hired none. Not one person out of 150 qualified to work here. Makes me wonder how I got this job. I was one of 2 hired out of a pool of 400 apps. Methinks there are a lot of people out there with degrees but zero experience and zero common sense. A degree is just a piece of paper, it does not make you smart.

Hard to get that experience built up when people ignore your degree and won't hire you within the field in which you want to develop expertise

Having a degree and no experience outside of practicum, internship, certification, etc. doesn't make you dumb.

Tat2dHeart · #20 05-10-2011, 11:29 PM

I just went through this to hire a supply chain analyst. I got 79 applications for one entry-level position. Only 10 made it to the phone screen and four to the interview. Of the four we brought in to see face to face, one bombed the interview, one gave my director a nervous tic that lasted a week, and one wanted more money than our VP makes.

It's a tough gig, but the upside is, there's always at least ONE resume or cover letter that has a chuckle-factor. This round's was, "I would make a very effective leader because I have many years of experience observing other people leading and I excel at emulation."