So like girls man...

[Mr L]

Yay another relationship thread!

Seeing as TBOT is the primary source for advice on the Internet no matter the subject figured id get all of your opinions on my situation.

So there's this girl, we've been friends for about 3 years but during the last year we've been hanging out a lot and went on a dozen dates. She comes and watches me play on occasion.

Now here's the problem, I asked her out about 5 months ago to which she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship because of her past, but still wanted to hangout.

After I asked her out she started acting way more into me than before, getting much more physical and openly interested it seems.

When we talk on the phone she seems excited to talk to me. However we haven't been able to hangout for the past 3 weeks because of our conflicting work schedule and such. She can't come to watch me play on Wednesdays as she's now taking a knitting class...

Back in December we hadn't really hangout or talked and one of her friends came up to me and told me she was really upset I didn't call her or invite her to this show I went to (which bogles my mind as she's told me multiple times she really doesn't like the band) and that she thinks I don't like her anymore... Which is not true, I was under the impression she didn't like me seeing as she had rejected me!! So I called her and we started hanging out again, eventually I did take her to the same band and she liked them.

Now we haven't really talked or hung out in the past month.

So I've tried to call her for the past 3 weeks about every other day and every day on the weekend, but never got through and actually talked to her. So I left a message last Saturday and haven't called her since then (figure If she wants to talk to me she'll call me when she can)

Looking back I realize that I have always been the one to initiate conversation, phone calls, and always been the one asking to hangout.

Another tidbit of info is we're both 18.

I am really extremely and utterly confused and do not know in the slightest what to do or what to think...

Help me talkbass, you're my only hope.

[mike phillips]

if your the one that always has to initate conversation let it go. just let it go.

[mike phillips]

if your the one that always has to initiate conversation let it go. just let it go.

[KWSmogwai]

Yeah, gotta go with mike on this one, someone who really wants to talk to you will.

[luzceloffan]

next!

[Mr L]

Originally Posted by KWSmogwai

Yeah, gotta go with mike on this one, someone who really wants to talk to you will.

That was my thinking as well but this has happened before and when it did one of her friends told me she was upset I hadn't called her or talked to her in a while and she was really sad. So I then called her and things got back to normal.

We live in adjacent towns so unless one of us drives the 15 minutes or calls we really have no other way of interacting.

[FrenchBassQC]

Originally Posted by Mr L

That was my thinking as well but this has happened before and when it did one of her friends told me she was upset I hadn't called her or talked to her in a while and she was really sad. So I then called her and things got back to normal.

We live in adjacent towns so unless one of us drives the 15 minutes or calls we really have no other way of interacting.

Who has left a message and called for the last 3 weeks? Next...

[4OnTheFloor]

Let it go, when one of her friends asks why you haven't called. Tell them you've been busy. Also ask them why she hasn't called. Just move on ... maybe itll work out later when you guys get a little older, but don't waste your time. There are plenty of partners who will be mutually interested in a relationship.

[Ziltoid]

Knitting class? Seriously?



It went south in a similar way with my last ex, move on.

[UncleFluffy]

Originally Posted by Mr L

I am really extremely and utterly confused and do not know in the slightest what to do or what to think...

She's got some weird situation of her own going on. Keep moving, don't make it your problem.

[kev b]

Start seeing another girl, she'll start calling you then!

[MJ5150]

There's nothing wrong with the young lady, she's 18. It looks like you're over thinking it, so just relax. Maintain the friendship, you'll grow from it.

-Mike

[pacojas]

she has a boyfriend, IMO.

this will happen again and again and again and...

[matante]

So I've tried to call her for the past 3 weeks about every other day and every day on the weekend, but never got through and actually talked to her.

If this happened with a friend of mine I'd be worried that she might be in the hospital, or dead. Are you sure you're even friends with her?

[elgecko]

Let me do the math: 5 calls a week for 3 weeks = 15 calls, which =/= getting though, *does* = she's just not that into you.

[Mr L]

Originally Posted by matante

If this happened with a friend of mine I'd be worried that she might be in the hospital, or dead. Are you sure you're even friends with her?

Like I said our schedules are really conflicting. I work week days and She works weekends and goes to school during the week. She doesn't have a cell as she's the clumsiest person ever and has dropped it in the tub, toilet, fountain, and sink. So it's more about me not being able to call when she's home.

[matante]

Originally Posted by Mr L

Like I said our schedules are really conflicting. I work week days and She works weekends and goes to school during the week. She doesn't have a cell as she's the clumsiest person ever and has dropped it in the tub, toilet, fountain, and sink. So it's more about me not being able to call when she's home.

Are you leaving messages with whoever she lives with? Or are you saying she may not even know you called?

[Ziltoid]

Some girls avoid breakups/confrontation through avoidance. Next time you see her do yourself a favor and end things clearly. It'll be easier to move on afterwards.

[Bloodhammer]

Um....

Punch her in the throat?

[morewattsplease]

on to the next one on to the next one