So it seems I am a child abuser (Sarcasm intended)

jady · #1 03-07-2011, 01:54 PM

I just got back from my child custody hearing. We have had no legal order and I have been paying (and documenting) child support of my own free will for the last 3 years but do to some recent issues I wanted some rights with the court.

I knew she had an issue with Marijuana smoking but I have a Medical Card and keep it (MJ not the card) in my bedroom under lock and key. She stated in her response that because of the Marijuana use she wanted 100% custody and supervised visitation.

So I go in with all my paperwork in order and show the mediator my card, paper, etc (she wanted a little more detail as far as my diagnosis but accepted it as valid in the meantime). She then proceeds to tell me that my middle daughter had bruises and my ex-wife is blaming them on me!!!!!!

This is the first I have heard of this and was taken aback by the whole thing. Since there was an accusation of abuse in a courtroom setting California CPS will be visiting me in the next ten days and my 3 days a week with my kids are now supervised (by my mother of all people lol, ***) and I am under investigation.

This is not personal towards me but standard court practice and the judge said the court would rather error in being too cautious and I must agree but damn, this blows

I can't have them overnight, I won't get to be woken up in the morning by their laughter anymore

I have faith in my God that all will be OK in the end but I have considerably lees faith in the California Family Court system.

And if it needs to be said, I do not abuse my kids, physically or emotionally. and please do not let this become a Medical Marijuana thread either k, thnx

MJ5150 · #2 03-07-2011, 01:58 PM

Yeah, that sucks. In a way it is cool I guess how the state takes the issue so seriously. At the same time, if they were so serious, maybe someone would take action sooner than in the next 10 days.

-Mike

Deluge Of Sound · #3 03-07-2011, 01:58 PM

From my (admittedly limited & online) interaction with you this seems like nothing less than Absolute Nonsense.

jady · #4 03-07-2011, 01:59 PM

Well I don't have the kids alone, ever now so there isn't much risk.

tastybasslines · #5 03-07-2011, 02:01 PM

That SUCKS man. My brother is going through the same thing. His conniving ex has tried everything! His 5 year old son came home with a scratch on his arm from a tree branch and she said he cut his own son with scissors. Some officials were ordered to the school and my brothers house to investigate. It sucks they can just say ANYTHING and it has to be taken seriously. She is relentless. I know she is putting thoughts in his sons head and I feel bad for the kid. They just hand the son off when they meet, they cannot even be in the same room together. Just CYA man, and my bro told me, keep quiet as much as you can, and only speak when needed.

Hope it works out bro.

MatticusMania · #6 03-07-2011, 02:05 PM

Thats a major bummer, sorry to hear. I just hope things work out for you in the end.
I'm so sick of crazy women (no offense, but your babys mama sounds crazy to me) getting away with crap like this in the courts.

shadowtippy · #7 03-07-2011, 02:06 PM

It seems that you are guilty until proved innocent by the court system. I'm not saying you are guilty, so please don't take it that way. Good luck with your problem. I hope things work out in your favor.

hdracer · #8 03-07-2011, 02:07 PM

Unless you are dieing of cancer, drop the weed. I would not want my kids around someone on drugs ether.

billiam5billion · #9 03-07-2011, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hdracer

Unless you are dieing of cancer, drop the weed. I would not want my kids around someone on drugs ether.

Yeah, I wouldn't want my kids ever exposed to beer, caffeine, or antidepressants either. That's just abusive.

Clark Dark · #10 03-07-2011, 02:23 PM

Abuse being as serious an allegation as one can (with children in this instance) get I'm wondering if the children are asked at all about whether or not the accused really did any abuse or if the authorities just go to the side who makes the allegation first. I mean if the OP said the mom abused the middle daughter is the playing field even ? It sucks and blows at the same time.

L-A · #11 03-07-2011, 02:27 PM

Ah man, that's rough. From what I know of you I can't see you losing child custody over this, but the standard procedure sucks in a case like this.

Go by the rules and rest assured, in the meantime you can come to OT for lolcats whenever you want.

jady · #12 03-07-2011, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clark Dark

Abuse being as serious an allegation as one can (with children in this instance) get I'm wondering if the children are asked at all about whether or not the accused really did any abuse or if the authorities just go to the side who makes the allegation first. I mean if the OP said the mom abused the middle daughter is the playing field even ? It sucks and blows at the same time.

The mediator will be talking to the children although at their ages (4, 5, 7) They take it all with a grain of salt. I am the one who brought this to the court not her so I find the irony of all this pretty.........well, ironic.

As for the Medical Marijuana, this is a case of legal or not. If it is legal and I have the proper documentation it should be no different than taking a vicodin for back pain. I smoke at night after they go to bed.

jady · #13 03-07-2011, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-A

Ah man, that's rough. From what I know of you I can't see you losing child custody over this, but the standard procedure sucks in a case like this.

Go by the rules and rest assured, in the meantime you can come to OT for lolcats whenever you want.

I am always in need of lolcats...........

jady · #14 03-07-2011, 02:32 PM

FWIW If push comes to shove the kids are far more important to me than dealing with my Tourettes Syndrome symptoms so I will quit if that is what the courts decide.

electracoyote · #15 03-07-2011, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jady

I have faith in my God that all will be OK in the end but I have considerably less faith in the California Family Court system.

I thought California was a "progressive" state.

In terms of father's rights, they seem to be in the Dark Ages.

Hang tough dude. Hire the best lawyer you can afford.

aborgman · #16 03-07-2011, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jady

This is the first I have heard of this and was taken aback by the whole thing. Since there was an accusation of abuse in a courtroom setting California CPS will be visiting me in the next ten days and my 3 days a week with my kids are now supervised (by my mother of all people lol, ***) and I am under investigation.

This is not personal towards me but standard court practice and the judge said the court would rather error in being too cautious and I must agree but damn, this blows

My wife got to have an interview with the local police department, and my son got an interview with CPS (without our knowledge) after someone reported her for "beating" the kid.

A 115lb woman - spanking an 4.5' tall, 80lb, 8 year old boy... open handed three or four times on his (fully clothed in jeans) butt...

It took weeks for that mess to blow over.

Steve · #17 03-07-2011, 03:51 PM

In my heart of hearts, I truly hope that there is a very special place in hell for people that use their children as pawns in relationship disputes.

I hope it works out for you.

kesslari · #18 03-07-2011, 03:59 PM

Good luck with this. Be very careful in word and deed.
And if you find any bruises on the children, have your "supervisor" note them immediately, and bring them to the court's attention.

I've found that being the "calm rational one" in custody settings doesn't work if your ex is working the "he's EVIL!" approach (in my case it was my wife's ex working that approach on her). You have to "no SHE's evil and her's why" right back. Bruises - she caused them, either directly or through neglect. Bedwetting? They're sleeping at her house, and it's caused by her abuse, physical or emotional.

In our case, our daughter said "I'd like to be able to live with both you AND Daddy." And my wife said "well, you can tell the court people that, honey."
We were supporting "joint custody", her ex was pushing for sole custody (his) with visitation (hers).

So she told the court, and then said "My mommy said to say that to you".
And that threw her wish right out the window.

Sad and stupid, but true.

Good luck.

basstotheface · #19 03-07-2011, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hdracer

Unless you are dieing of cancer, drop the weed. I would not want my kids around someone on drugs ether.

Shakin-Slim · #20 03-07-2011, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hdracer

Unless you are dieing of cancer, drop the weed. I would not want my kids around someone on drugs ether.

x2