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12-14-2012, 04:13 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Istanbul | | | There's a saying I like: "If you make a mistake, repeat it three more times and call it jazz."
So I'd fart 3 more times and rush out the room yelling "JJJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZ".
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Relic  Yes, you look like the pizza, dammit. Now get back to work!:D | Quote:
Originally Posted by macaroni tony You're a very handsome man :D | |
12-14-2012, 04:42 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: PTX | | Quote:
Originally Posted by machine gewehr There's a saying I like: "If you make a mistake, repeat it three more times and call it jazz."
So I'd fart 3 more times and rush out the room yelling "JJJJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZ". | Too funny. |
12-14-2012, 05:32 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: N.H. | | | Pull a Jim Cary" It was meeee" from Liar Liar.
Ah, nothing like a good fart story. |
12-14-2012, 05:47 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Detroit | | | Well, you may as well own up. What have you got to lose? I had a potential date come over once because he wanted to hear my bass playing; so, he's sitting on the floor near my rig, and he farts! Gross, but immeasurably worse had he just pretended it didn't happen.
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12-14-2012, 07:02 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2010 Location: Los Angeles, CA | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by pocketgroove Well, you may as well own up. What have you got to lose? I had a potential date come over once because he wanted to hear my bass playing; so, he's sitting on the floor near my rig, and he farts! Gross, but immeasurably worse had he jus pretended it didn't happen. | Unless it was in the act of sitting down, bending over, etc, he could have clenched his bung and not farted. Either this guy was 80 and could not feel it coming or let it out on purpose!
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"My wife told me she was afraid of the dark, then she saw me naked and now she is afraid of the light!"
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12-14-2012, 07:21 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Takoma Park, MD (DC) | | | Be loud and proud. Lift one leg, rip another one, and go "Damn! Them broccoli farts are the worst, aren't they?" |
12-14-2012, 08:08 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Istanbul | | This reminds me of my farting story from years ago when I was 17.
I went to dinner with my best friend to meet her new girlfriend.
I ate too much, way too much and decided to stretch my arms. Bad decision, I farted so loudly that I thought my buttcheeks were ripped apart.
I don't know how but my friend didn't hear it (he must have been deaf). I looked at the girl and we started laughing like mad. We did laugh for about 15 minutes, screaming, tears in our eyes. 
We ended up being good friends with her. 
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Relic Yes, you look like the pizza, dammit. Now get back to work!:D | Quote:
Originally Posted by macaroni tony You're a very handsome man :D | |
12-14-2012, 09:40 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New York City | | Quote: |
Originally Posted by MrLenny1 Pull a Jim Cary" It was meeee" from Liar Liar.
Ah, nothing like a good fart story. | This, or pull a Peter Griffin, in a number of approaches...
One: http://youtu.be/EZGNe7SSO8E
"Uhhh...it was you!"
Or two, covering it up by coughing: http://youtu.be/xRyRYIKRm4U
Last edited by Rush-2112 : 12-14-2012 at 09:44 AM.
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12-14-2012, 10:59 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Make a left at the Taco Bell | | | Laundry room in my building? My building where I do my laundry is called my house. So the only ones there to smell if I break wind are my fiance (she's used to it), and my dogs... and one of my dogs has FAR worse gas than me.
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalex My thumbs look exactly like my wife's big toes. They're like smelly little doppelgangers! | |
12-14-2012, 11:02 AM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Purple Mountain Majesties | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Nerve ...it's 9PM and you're all alone on a Thursday, and ya figure nobody's going to come in at this time during the week. The tofu and broccoli ya had for dinner in beginning to kick in, and you decide it's safe to let one go.
A woman walks in.
Do you apologize, or make like nothing happened. I made like nothing happened. | Yeah, you did the right thing.
Unless she is a complete idiot or has completely lost her sense of smell, she has already put two and two together.
Why diminish your social status any further with an unnecessary dweeb-like confession?
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12-14-2012, 11:12 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: New Hampshire | | | Oh well if she's older than chances are she's starting to fire off some gas bombs of her own.
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Clubs: New Hampshire Bassists #6 | Official Fender Precision Bass Club #888 |
12-14-2012, 11:16 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: May 2008 Location: Sioux Falls, SD | | | If she was hot, then blaming it on the machines (sewer backup, etc.) would be appropriate.
If she wasn't hot, then I would have just let it go (so to speak). Technically she violated YOUR space so no explanation or excuse necessary. |
12-14-2012, 11:34 AM
|  | Pardon my driving, I'm reloading | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: San Diego/LA | | Dropped a colon scraper in the cereal aisle at Ralph's grocery store the other day just as 2 high school girls walked up. Both made the look of walking in to pepper spray, so I pointed at one, silently mouthed "her" while looking at the other and kept walking.  |
12-14-2012, 11:42 AM
|  | I wanna be...say, what day is it today, Ted? | | Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Location, Location | | | "That’s when you know you found somebody really special.
When you can just shut the f up for a minute and comfortably share silence."
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Originally Posted by hover tell him the cab could double as a pulpit. A gloriously rawkin pulpit. | |
12-14-2012, 12:16 PM
| | Registered User
Owner/Builder: Regenerate Guitar Works | | Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Upper Left Corner (Seattle) | | | taste is 90% smell ...
R |
12-14-2012, 12:26 PM
|  | Supporting Member | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Los Angeles | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Perry Laundry room in my building? My building where I do my laundry is called my house. So the only ones there to smell if I break wind are my fiance (she's used to it), and my dogs... and one of my dogs has FAR worse gas than me. | Beano works for dogs too. YMMV, IMO, etc. |
12-14-2012, 12:51 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Outside Boston | | Quote:
Originally Posted by placedesjardins Flip the story around. You walk into a room. You immediately smell intestinal gas and there is only one person in the room before you.
You don't need to be a Sherlock Holmes to put 1 and 1 together. | Well, not always. Many years ago, I lived in a condo. I was headed out one night, and I got into the elevator only to be engulfed in one of the most horrific methane clouds I have ever been witness to. It was lingering there from the previous (anonymous) rider. I held my breath for the remainder of the ride to the lobby. When the door opened, there was the hot chick that lived down the hall from me, waiting to take the elevator back up. I exited the car, and of course she soon was inhaling the vile stench all the way back upstairs. I was hoping to get to know her better at some point, but that kind of put the kibosh on that! 
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12-14-2012, 01:19 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Make a left at the Taco Bell | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Stumbo Beano works for dogs too. YMMV, IMO, etc. | I think my Dachshund's farts would laugh in the face of Beano, and then proceed to burn my nostrils. It's horrific, I tell you!
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalex My thumbs look exactly like my wife's big toes. They're like smelly little doppelgangers! | |
12-14-2012, 01:30 PM
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12-14-2012, 01:36 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Boston | | | Look them straight in the eye and say : Phew, this place stinks" and walk out.
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