Sometimes it's better not to know...

[MJ5150]

I need to vent. I consider many of you to be good friends, so I'm going to do it here. There aren't any solutions to my venting. I just need somewhere to get this out where I will not offend my family...

So I have been in Altoona, Pennsylvania all week after my cousin was found dead last Friday morning. Her four year old daughter found her dead on the couch. As of today, she still thinks her mommy is at the hospital getting her "blue lips" fixed.

We flew out of Seattle at 6AM Saturday morning last week with little knowledge of how exactly my cousin died. She was prescribed a pain patch to help with her migraines was about all we knew. As the week has gone on, I decided to get some more info since I wanted to know if this was a mistake by the doctor or my cousin or what. What I found out has pretty much ruined my life.

My cousin was a prescription drug addict. She had been for about eight years. What my aunt thinks what happened is my cousin actually ATE the gel off one of the patches and then put a second one on her arm. The massive dose of time released pain meds killed her. It was called something like jeradesic? My aunt came to this conclusion after finding the wrapper from one of the patches in the backyard and she said it looked like someone scraped the gel off the patch.

The only reason we found out about the addiction was after my mom had her bottle of oxycoton disappear. My mom had those in her purse from her appendectomy last month and forgot to remove them from her purse. Well, my other cousin found them and stole those out of her purse. My mom mentioned something about it to my dad while my aunt was in the room and my aunt said something along the lines of "don't leave that in your purse, Rachel will find it". Rachel is my other cousin. So while talking about Rachel, my aunt told us about my other cousins pain med addiction. I have already left Altoona, but my dad was going to talk to his brother and my cousin this morning before they left about it. Not in a mad way, but suggest my cousin get some help.

One cousin just died from an overdose of prescription meds, and the other cousin is an addict already. She is 18, with a newborn baby. She was flippin' stealing from my own mom, her aunt. We did not stay at my aunt and uncles. We stayed in a hotel.

So yeah, everything pretty much sucks for me right now. I wish I had NEVER asked anything and just left town knowing my cousin died from an adverse reaction to the pain med. My whole perception of my wonderful hometown and family is shattered. I feel like crying, punching the wall, and so on.

Thanks everyone for listening and reading. I appreciate the support and friends I have here in the TB family.

-Mike

[Deacon_Blues]

That sucks. Sorry to hear that.

I hope you and your family will be alright soon and that Rachel can end her addiction. Addictions are difficult and powerful things - there's no logic behind the actions of an addict so I'm not surprised hearing she stole some medicine from your mom. Her need to get it was stronger than her loyalty towards her aunt. She will need to seek help quickly so her life doesn't end as tragically as your other cousin's. Her newborn baby will definitely want a mom in the future....

All the best wishes to you, your family and your cousins' family/families.

[i_got_a_mohawk]

Ouch, that's harsh

Hopefully the death will be enough to help get your other cousin off her addiction.

[cheesemonkey]

that really sucks. i'm not too good with the whole talk and make people feel better thing b ut i hope you do. Sorry for your loss and your discovery hope things will get better.

[mike phillips]

im so sorry to hear that. our thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Big Joe]

I'm very sorry for your loss... Pain meds are a tricky business. Patients often build up a tolerance and need more and different types to help with the pain. This can lead to addiction and often times it's not the fault or weakness of the patient who becomes addicted because the pain is still present. People addicted to painkillers often go to several different doctors with a whole medley of complaints to get more and the docs often write up scripts blindly to get them on their way. Again, I'm sorry that her life came to an end like that. You and your family are in my prayers and I hope your other cousin can get some help that works for her.

[peterbright]

I feel for you. Have lost two younger brothers to drugs & alcohol. Many more out there with the same problem.

[Pilgrim]

It's hard to take, but you're better off knowing what's going on in the family. You never know when you might end up making decisions that will affect others. I have never understood addiction, but it sure messes up people's lives.

[ryco]

Really sorry to hear about this Mike.

Boy, you could try an intervention, but you live such a long ways away and I'm sure you can't keep flying back and forth.
Maybe suggest the idea to family back there. Rehab is expensive.
I'm not trying to "fix" anything - just throw out an idea. I intervened on my bro and he's been clean and sober for almost 20 years.
Then again I've been in on interventions with some musician friends and most didn't get it at all. Not sure fire by any means.

It's better you know so you can teach your kids about the consequences of drug abuse.
Trying to make some good out of a terrible situation.
Again, really sorry.

[Adam Barkley]

Perception can be a hard thing to deal with.

PM me if you need to vent.

Peace,
Adam

[bassybill]

Originally Posted by i_got_a_mohawk

Ouch, that's harsh

Hopefully the death will be enough to help get your other cousin off her addiction.

Agreed. That way, at least there'd be one positive outcome from a dreadful event.

Really sorry to hear about this, Mike.

[LiquidMidnight]

Originally Posted by MJ5150

My whole perception of my wonderful hometown and family is shattered.

Damn it, if you were still in Altoona I was going to tell you to come to Claysburg tonight, because I have a gig there.

Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood. In all seriousness, Mike, the Altoona area has been in a downward spiral for years with similar stories as this one. Addiction, coupled with a huge poverty problem, have pretty much crippled the area. There are parts of the town that I literally would not want to walk down after dark...some I wouldn't want to walk down in broad daylight.

[Lalabadie]

I feel you, man.

I learnt a few months ago that two of my cousins are addicts to chemical drugs. One is 15, the other is 13. Their mother ran away.

Sometimes you've got to accept that life ain't fair.

[troy2003]

Very very sorry to hear that.It sucks when we find out after someone dies that they had skeletons in their closet.My son is an addict-street drugs.He did so many things that I still shake my head at.Stole money from my wallet,tools from the garage,his brothers I-pod and dvd player,Game boys,etc.Why?I still ticked about it,but the addiction will make you do some stupid stuff that hurts people.I'm sure your cousin feels like a low life for stealing from her own aunt.Just pray she gets some help and turns her life around.

[Baryonyx]

You're in my thoughts man, stay strong. We're here for you!

[GregC]

I'm really sorry to hear that, Mike, you're in my prayers. I'm sure it was very painful to find this out, but I still think it's better to know. Maybe you can help your other cousin, long distance, or rally people around her, and get something positive out of this.

[peterbright]

Treatment works...not always the first time...and relapse is always a possibility. Don't give up on her.

[Spector_Ray]

Man, I am so sorry for your loss. In addition to your cousin getting help, maybe you need to talk to a therapist. It can work wonders. My prayers are with you.

[MAJOR METAL]

Thats heavy Mike I am sorry for your familys loss.

[Chad Michael]

Sorry for your loss.... please be there for the 4 y.o. daughter, be a positive part of her life . Our children (family, friend or neighbor) are more important, and deserve our love and attention more, than anyone or anything.