Starting over at an older age?

Mike M. · #1 09-01-2010, 09:56 PM

I'm 57 and have been giving a lot of thought as to "where the hell I'm going" lately. Can't believe anymore just how fast life is flying by and the worst part about it is that I feel like I'm not even living. All I know is that I want to make whatever time I have left on this planet to really mean something and it sure isn't going to happen at the rate I'm going.

To try and explain the whole thing would take way too long so I'm not going to bore you. But this much I will tell you. Monday thru Friday I just work and sleep. Nothing more. When the weekend comes it's a mad dash to try and get things done, including trying to get my playing in order for two Sunday services. I fully know that whatever I do is up to me and that nothing is going to happen if I don't act.

Just wonder how many other older guys here have said screw it, have left the rat race, who took a huge pay cut but have wound up happier in the long run. I'm also single so the only person I have to worry about is me.

Thanks for your time.

SurferJoe46 · #2 09-01-2010, 10:07 PM

I got 'quitted' when I ruptured a bicep 'cause I had to take Vicadin just to stand up and work any more.

That week I retired - Aug 11th, 2004.

Since then I've tried to keep busy at all sorts of things - feeling like I was about to die and was washed up as a human.

Then I took out an old Squier Affinity P that I had in the closet for over 12 years and decide to light it up and see why I hated it so much in years past.

It was nice. No - make that: it was great!

I restrung it with ROTO 77s and took the tone to the cellar and was in love with a lover whom I had abandoned for 47+ years.

I've been on a semi-buying splurge ever since and learning that Geddy Lee was not the car in The Dukes Of Hazard and that basses had really come a long way since I last looked.

In the olden days, it was nice if I could be a starving artist -- but it wasn't nice to take a starving family with me and I decided to drop the whole music scene. I did not then, nor now regret any of it as I had a great life and lots of friends and a very nice family.

Now I am retired and I can devote a lot of time to music and spiritual things and also my family.

Oh - and I am playing bass again. It's nice that I have a photographic memory so I can visualize all the bass-boxes and keys and stuff - but sometimes I think I left my lens cap on.

PS: I'm 64 y/o.

::::BASSIST:::: · #3 09-01-2010, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike M.

I'm 57 and have been giving a lot of thought as to "where the hell I'm going" lately. Can't believe anymore just how fast life is flying by and the worst part about it is that I feel like I'm not even living. All I know is that I want to make whatever time I have left on this planet to really mean something and it sure isn't going to happen at the rate I'm going.

To try and explain the whole thing would take way too long so I'm not going to bore you. But this much I will tell you. Monday thru Friday I just work and sleep. Nothing more. When the weekend comes it's a mad dash to try and get things done, including trying to get my playing in order for two Sunday services. I fully know that whatever I do is up to me and that nothing is going to happen if I don't act.

Just wonder how many other older guys here have said screw it, have left the rat race, who took a huge pay cut but have wound up happier in the long run. I'm also single so the only person I have to worry about is me.

Thanks for your time.

You might want to look into a movement called Voluntary Simplicity. Basically, its about living with less, but being happier. The media tells us the only way we can be a success is by having a big fancy house and a shiny new car, all the right clothes etc

I think its all BS.

If you're working that much and you are miserable, I would definitely make some major changes. Sell your house, buy a small condo and do whatever you can to cut costs. Quit your job and get some employment that is less stressful even if it pays less. The most important thing that any of us can possess is time and our good health. Without those things we have nothing.

In my mind happiness is not achieved thru what we have or buy, but how we spend our time.

Mike M. · #4 09-01-2010, 10:34 PM

Good for you, Joe.

I will try to explain a bit here. Even though I've always thanked Almighty God that I've worked it's been a long haul. Since 1986 I've worked very long days and I've been on nights since 1998 working 12 hours a night. Like millions of others I got laid off in January of 2009 and for the first time in years I felt like a human being. I'm single and I had no finacial worries because I saved a lot of money when I was working. Found my was back to church and wound up getting on one of the music teams. Even though the prospects for work were not looking to good I only had a few occasions where I was worried. Basically, I was feeling pretty darned good because I was living.

Got called back to work in March of this year, I'm back to working 12 hours a night and find I'm getting very depressed. I know I shouldn't be because millions of people with families who can't find work would gladly trade places with me in a second. I'm grateful, but I'm also feeling trapped again. But I also know that in this economy and at my age my options and prospects aren't the greatest. I'm trying to be content but again, I find I'm getting depressed.

billiam5billion · #5 09-01-2010, 10:53 PM

I am reminded of a Kurt Vonnegut story called "The Kid Nobody Could Handle."

The kid screams at the end, "How!?"
And the teacher says, "Love yourself, and make your instrument sing about it. A-One, A-Two, A-Three," Down came his baton.

And that's why Kurt Vonnegut rules.

SurferJoe46 · #6 09-01-2010, 11:00 PM

And I thought Paul Hogan had troubles!

But seriously - if you are in a position to retire now - then it might be the right move.

I have no idea of the stability of the NZ version of Social Security, but it will prolly die when the rest of the world's broke anyway and then it won't matter as everyone will be on the same Titanic.

What I want to do is to go broke the day before I die.

I just want it engraved on my headstone:

"I TOLD you I was sick!"

I decided to take the early-out and just stay home and enjoy life for a change.

I always threw my body into the fire and I was always the first to volunteer for a goofy job - like hanging from my boots to weld a bracket on a bridge. 400 feet over a ravine. No safety lines or harness.

Yeah, 'did that. Not any more though. Like my dad said - you're gonna be a long time, dead.

I'd go tickle my muse if I wuz you.

P. Aaron · #7 09-01-2010, 11:03 PM

As an adult, I have not known the boredom (wasted hours) I knew as a kid.

There's something to be said for a self re-evaluation, and making critical decisions regarding "what the hell am I doing?" Nothing wrong with that at all.

Time always seems to fly as the years go by. I hate going to bed...to sleep that is. There's always something else I want to do. One can however, do some things better after a bit of rest.

If you can find a shorter path to what will make you happy, let us know what it is. You will have to trade some work hours to earn money to get the stuff you want, but folks from the past had fewer choices and we have been the beneficiaries of some of those things.

Newfangled is good, but simple, short straight to the point is what most folks are looking for and need.

Good luck, and thanks for sharing. Self re-evaluation is a good move.

warwick.hoy · #8 09-02-2010, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ::::BASSIST::::

You might want to look into a movement called Voluntary Simplicity. Basically, its about living with less, but being happier. The media tells us the only way we can be a success is by having a big fancy house and a shiny new car, all the right clothes etc

I think its all BS.

I'm in agreement with you here. Spend more time,...not more money.

Auzzie-Phoenix · #9 09-02-2010, 01:51 AM

May not be older, but I know how you feel. Worked full time in retail hell for the last 3 years, what have I got to show for it, but the worst health I've ever been in. Now don't get me wrong, I've worked for much longer than 3 years, and in several different job types other than retail, but it seems that every job I've had save one was miserable. I'd go back to school if I could find anything that remotely interested me. I'm only 31 at this point, but anyone can get that washed up, feel like you're 80 every waking moment feeling. Kind of wish I could retire.

I think that for my next job, I'm going to try to look for something relaxed and fun. All I've gained from working for big businesses is stress, and nothing else. Heh, over the course of the last year, the stress has been so bad that I got a pure white streak in the corner of my goatee. That's a sure sign that if I keep doing jobs like that I'll wind up dead sooner rather than later. I can only imagine what people had to go through earlier on in our history, with the depression and unfair labor practices.

I figure if I can find a job that's fun and allows me to pay for bills and simple pleasures, then I'll be happy. The only problem is trying to find something interesting and fun to do for a living. At the rate things are going, even if I make it to retirement age, it won't be enough to live on by that time, so if I'm going to be stuck working for the rest of my life then it had better be doing something I can enjoy. Something tells me that my re-evaluation will take some time.

Good luck to everyone who is stuck in the same situation. I hope your re-evaluations and future plans work out the best for you all. Just get enjoyment from the simple things you like to do, and work on having good experiences with everything you do.

Mike M. · #10 09-02-2010, 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warwick.hoy

I'm in agreement with you here. Spend more time,...not more money.

Oh, I couldn't agree more. The thing is, I've always lived a very modest lifestyle with no intentions of ever trying to keep up with the Jones's. I'm very comfortable in my "little palace" as I call it. I don't date, no jet ski's, no expensive vacations, I don't eat out and I drive a 2005 Ford Focus. One of my greatest weekend pleasures is sitting on my back deck with a cup of coffee watching the sun set behind the tops of the three big maple trees in the back of my yard. It doesn't get much better than that. So I'm very content with life's simple offerings. That and making music. Fact is, when I was laid off I wrote and recorded a lot of songs. I just felt so alive doing that.

iamlowsound · #11 09-02-2010, 01:54 AM

Keep life simple, I work to live, not live to work. I would rather live a simpler life and spend time with the people that I love, than have a bunch of money, but be stuck at work. I work hard when I am at work, but I like to be out of there after 8 hours.

lowsound

Hookus · #12 09-02-2010, 06:15 AM

Man, I would say, next Friday on your way home from work, grab a 12-pack of keystone, 1/8 ounce of weed, and a hooker.......

Then kidnap her, rob a bank, and haul ass to Mexico to be a hit man in a cartel. Now that will get yer blood flowing.

Kawai-chang · #13 09-02-2010, 07:14 AM

Do it. My wife and I already embrace the Simple Living philosophy. If you have the dough saved up, relax, enjoy life, and die broke.

Strat-Mangler · #14 09-02-2010, 09:18 AM

To the OP. Nothing will ever change if *you* don't change things yourself ; it's as simple as that.

You mention services. Quit giving those and live your own life. Or work part-time and use your remaining time for side-projects or trips.

Good luck!

FritoBandito · #15 09-02-2010, 09:29 AM

At 57, retirement was the best thing I ever did! Sure, I could have worked another 5 or 6 years, buy why? More money? If that is your only motivation, then stop complaining and make more money. But I happen to love my "wasted time", being able to play my cheapo bass whenever the urge hits me, drinking my coffee while watering outside and cooking dinner. It bugs the hell out of my wife (who feels she needs to work another 5 years), but I think that is just jealousy. I feel much more 'complete' and at ease with myself and my surroundings then I ever have before. Am I wasting the rest of my life? Not to me!

MatticusMania · #16 09-02-2010, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamlowsound

Keep life simple, I work to live, not live to work. I would rather live a simpler life and spend time with the people that I love, than have a bunch of money, but be stuck at work. I work hard when I am at work, but I like to be out of there after 8 hours.

lowsound

+1
My fiancee and I have both subscribed to live a simple life. We're not materialistic people, we don't need a lot of 'things' to be happy. As long as our basic needs are covered and we have enough to maybe have a good meal now and then, or do something fun, there isnt more that we could want from life.

Money is useless if you don't have the time or the right people to spend it with.

warwick.hoy · #17 09-02-2010, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike M.

Oh, I couldn't agree more. The thing is, I've always lived a very modest lifestyle with no intentions of ever trying to keep up with the Jones's. I'm very comfortable in my "little palace" as I call it. I don't date, no jet ski's, no expensive vacations, I don't eat out and I drive a 2005 Ford Focus. One of my greatest weekend pleasures is sitting on my back deck with a cup of coffee watching the sun set behind the tops of the three big maple trees in the back of my yard. It doesn't get much better than that. So I'm very content with life's simple offerings.

So you can cook? That's your angle as far as dating goes. A man that can cook is an attractive quality to women. A great pork roast got me laid once.

Find yourself a mama that also enjoys sitting on the back deck watching the sunset with a cup of coffee.

Quote:

That and making music. Fact is, when I was laid off I wrote and recorded a lot of songs. I just felt so alive doing that.

I think we found your answer.

MatticusMania · #18 09-02-2010, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warwick.hoy

Find yourself a mama that also enjoys sitting on the back deck watching the sunset with a cup of coffee.

Thats the goal to finding a good woman. Find someone who enjoys the same lifestyle as you and its quite easy for them to just slip right in and assimilate. After meeting my now fiancee my life didnt change much at all. Its all about assimilation.

Im still exactly who I was before meeting her, my lifestyle is the same, but now I have a hot girl around who doesnt annoy me to no end. And I get laid regularly.

sneha1965 · #19 09-02-2010, 12:42 PM

I had a similar experience about 12 years ago. I was in a job with a major manufacture of television graphics systems. I was on the road 2-3 weeks out of the month and when I was home I was so beat that I didn't want to do anything. I literally spent a vacation sleeping on the couch with drool running out of my mouth because I didn't have the energy to get up. I was only 33 at the time. I had gained a large amount of weight and was sick all of the time. The last 6 months at that job they let me stay at home to work, with occasionally trips to the office about once a month.

I was dying both physically and spiritually and I knew I had to get out. I was so busy with work that I really didn't have time to look for a new job. I finally quite when they decided to put me back out on the road. I had no other job lined up. I worked for Costco measuring people's homes for carpet and then went back to a previous employer making tile at a custom tile company in Windsor, CA. During that time, I was able to work 8 to 5 and have a normal life. While I was working there I put a portfolio together of animation work I had done and started looking for work as a designer in television graphics.

After about 4-5 months working for the tile company I was hired by a company out in Virginia. I now enjoy my life, work and have time to play music in two different bands. It was a total free fall not having a job lined up before quitting, but I'm glad I took the leap. Sometimes getting out of a bad situation takes drastic measures.

Bongolation · #20 09-02-2010, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike M.

Just wonder how many other older guys here have said screw it, have left the rat race, who took a huge pay cut but have wound up happier in the long run. I'm also single so the only person I have to worry about is me.

Me.

I have not regretted it for a second.

But I did not "start over" at anything. I simply quit.