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12-27-2007, 04:35 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Central Neb. | | | Steven Cobert on bassists
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In the Immigration chapter of Steven Colbert's book I Am America (And So Can You!):
"If we want to get rid of these occupational interlopers, I say we give them jobs nobody wants to do...
Bass Player: It's like you made a poorly worded deal with the devil to be a rock star. Instead of fame, fortune and groupies, you stand in the shadows plucking one note for 90 minutes while the lead singer picks out a trio of coeds from the front row for a post-show pansexual trapeze act. Even worse, you're expected to room with the drummer."
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12-27-2007, 04:41 PM
|  | Groovin' Eskrimador
Lark in the Morning Instructional Videos; Audix Microphones | | Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Santa Cruz Mtns, California | | True story:
Years ago, when I was playing full time, my brother married a protologist.
And she asked me "What made you decide to become a bass player?"
And so I got to ask her, by way of reply "Well, what made you decide to become a PROCTOLOGIST?" 
We both had valid reasons that were definitely not apparent to someone "outside" that world (music in one case, medicine in the other)...
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12-27-2007, 04:46 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Louisiana for now. | | | I never understood proctologists... If you work at McDonald's, you come home smelling like french fries, right?
I just don't understand. |
12-27-2007, 04:52 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Hancock, MD | | Quote:
Originally Posted by SpankyPants I never understood proctologists... If you work at McDonald's, you come home smelling like french fries, right?
I just don't understand. | This is definately a candidate for being my new sig.
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12-27-2007, 05:09 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Maui | | Quote:
Originally Posted by kesslari "Well, what made you decide to become a PROCTOLOGIST?" | Maybe the real question should have been posed to your bro...
"What made you decide to marry a proctologist?" |
12-27-2007, 05:32 PM
|  | is, against all odds, still a scuba viking. | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Alta Loma, California | | | poo, now I have to look up what the heck a proctologist is...
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12-27-2007, 05:37 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Rochester, NY | | Quote:
Originally Posted by IconBasser poo, now I have to look up what the heck a proctologist is... | May I suggest Google image search? 
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12-27-2007, 05:40 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: VB,VA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Siegy In the Immigration chapter of Steven Colbert's book I Am America (And So Can You!):
Bass Player: It's like you made a poorly worded deal with the devil to be a rock star. Instead of fame, fortune and groupies, you stand in the shadows plucking one note for 90 minutes while the lead singer picks out a trio of coeds from the front row for a post-show pansexual trapeze act. Even worse, you're expected to room with the drummer."
| Sounds to me like he has some practical experience.... 
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12-27-2007, 07:24 PM
|  | prefers electric miles davis | | Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Los Angeles, CA | | that colbert thing is hilarious. pretty true too  |
12-27-2007, 08:20 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Western Massachusetts | | Quote:
Originally Posted by IconBasser poo, now I have to look up what the heck a proctologist is... | |
12-27-2007, 09:16 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Indiana | | Quote:
Originally Posted by IconBasser poo, now I have to look up what the heck a proctologist is... | Cleverly worded pun or a humorous coincidence? |
12-27-2007, 11:31 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Oakland, California, USA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by SpankyPants I never understood proctologists... If you work at McDonald's, you come home smelling like french fries, right?
I just don't understand. | Sigged. Quote:
Originally Posted by Cerb Cleverly worded pun or a humorous coincidence? | I'm opting for "cleverly worded coincidence." 
I think Colbert's new book is hilarious, based on some of the chapters I've read. I can forgive his bass player comments...
...hmm... I might have to reconsider my vote for the upcoming Presidential election.
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12-27-2007, 11:53 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan | | Haha. I just got Colbert's book for Christmas! |
12-27-2007, 11:55 PM
|  | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: College Station, Texas | | Quote:
Originally Posted by SpankyPants I never understood proctologists... If you work at McDonald's, you come home smelling like french fries, right?
I just don't understand. | HAHAHA   |
12-29-2007, 02:23 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Toronto, Canada | | Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic Winters May I suggest Google image search? | +1000
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12-29-2007, 08:29 AM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Waco, TX | | I liked his "standing in the shadows" reference whether it was on purpose or not. Maybe he's a Jamerson fan!
BTW, proctologists aren't called "proctologists" anymore.
bc
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12-31-2007, 06:14 PM
|  | In case you missed it, I work for QSC Audio!
Applications Engineer, QSC Audio | | Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Costa Mesa, Calif. | | Quote:
Originally Posted by kesslari Years ago, when I was playing full time, my brother married a protologist.
And she asked me "What made you decide to become a bass player?"
And so I got to ask her, by way of reply "Well, what made you decide to become a PROCTOLOGIST?" | I'll guess that she never ate bagels. Am I right? |
12-31-2007, 06:46 PM
|  | The Lowdown Diggler | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Huntington Beach, CA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by DigMe I liked his "standing in the shadows" reference whether it was on purpose or not. Maybe he's a Jamerson fan!
BTW, proctologists aren't called "proctologists" anymore.
bc | I think he's had some experience playing bass. Either that, or he's secretly stalking TB. | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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