still friends with the Ex's

fenderthrupeave · #1 12-01-2008, 08:44 PM

Well not to start another my girlfriends threads but... I was wondering how many of you are still friends with you ex's? Im starting down this path and not sure what to expect because in the past its Im out the door and Ill never see you again, but this one is feeling like its going to be different.

iamlowsound · #2 12-01-2008, 08:47 PM

I am still friends with one of mine. Don't talk to her much because we live in different cities, but we have plans to hang out over Christmas when we are both around.

lowsound

Fontaine · #3 12-01-2008, 08:47 PM

body call.

It fixes everything

Croox · #4 12-01-2008, 08:49 PM

I have 2 ex I'm friends with now HUGE buffer zone in between us dating and becoming friends. having a clean break and not burning any bridges is a good thing. it was kinda weird at first, but now they are just like any other friends I have. and I treat them the same way.

wdinc01 · #5 12-01-2008, 08:55 PM

I'm still friends with my last two ex's (which would be the only serious relationships I'd say worth mentioning in my short life). My last one, we've had some trouble for different reasons and I don't get to see her as much, but I still treat her the same as I always have. My one before her I'd say we're good friends, and I really dig the guy she's dating so I think that's a good thing.

Thunderscreech · #6 12-01-2008, 09:02 PM

a few of my former interests are some of my good friends now. the more serious ones are not. I guess it's one of those things: you like the person, and you're pissed that they would cut you off like that.

ADbassman · #7 12-01-2008, 09:04 PM

Oh good lord no. Bitter enemies and rivals.

MysticMichael · #8 12-01-2008, 09:06 PM

Well, everyone's different I suppose. But IME, the friendship thing can happen ONLY once the love is dead & gone. And not necessarily then either. At least that's from the man's perspective. Women (as you know) are wired somewhat differently...

Not that lovers aren't close friends as well, as that's part of the package. It's just that when a love affair doesn't work out, there's usually a huge amount of emotional turmoil that makes a simple friendship nearly impossible. Again, YMMV...

One of my former girlfriends was working really hard to salvage a friendship from our busted relationship. "Look at it this way," I said: "Suppose you were hired into a great new job at an excellent company - big salary, corner office...and a promise of a big promotion. Then, suddenly one day you get summoned to the president's office and told that not only will you NOT get the big promotion, but they're going to demote you to the mail room - with a 75% cut in pay. But - and here's the kicker - you'll still be allowed to stay with the company - IF you really want to.

What would any self-respecting man do? That's the way it feels to do the "friends" thing after the love affair has died out."

I still don't think she got it...

MM

Deluge Of Sound · #9 12-01-2008, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticMichael

Well, everyone's different I suppose. But IME, the friendship thing can happen ONLY once the love is dead & gone. And not necessarily then either. At least that's from the man's perspective. Women (as you know) are wired somewhat differently...

Not that lovers aren't close friends as well, as that's part of the package. It's just that when a love affair doesn't work out, there's usually a huge amount of emotional turmoil that makes a simple friendship nearly impossible. Again, YMMV...

One of my former girlfriends was working really hard to salvage a friendship from our busted relationship. "Look at it this way," I said: "Suppose you were hired into a great new job at an excellent company - big salary, corner office...and a promise of a big promotion. Then, suddenly one day you get summoned to the president's office and told that not only will you NOT get the big promotion, but they're going to demote you to the mail room - with a 75% cut in pay. But - and here's the kicker - you'll still be allowed to stay with the company - IF you really want to.

What would any self-respecting man do? That's the way it feels to do the "friends" thing after the love affair has died out."

I still don't think she got it...

MM

+1.

Araillac · #10 12-01-2008, 09:25 PM

after me and my girlfriend broke up the last conversation between us was where she was suppose to go during the start of the school year if she was going to a technical school at the same time. and we havent talked since

crimson_basser · #11 12-01-2008, 09:27 PM

i really only see one of my exes
were on perfectly good terms

the rest, i either lost touch with, live in other cities etc
or just plain disapeared

flipper_gv · #12 12-01-2008, 09:42 PM

No, left both of my serious exes because they were crazy as ****. Don't want to hear from them never again.

Ampeg SVT · #13 12-01-2008, 09:53 PM

Big fat no, i was only friends with one for a year and a half after everything and then it went to ****.

Happynoj · #14 12-01-2008, 10:03 PM

I'm still friends with my ex. Nowhere near as close as we were before - we see each other every month or two for a coffee or lunch, and a bit more during breaks from uni. Other than that we don't really have any contact. When we do see each other, we can talk about absolutely anything, because we know each other so well.

Georynn · #15 12-01-2008, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Araillac

after me and my girlfriend broke up the last conversation between us was where she was suppose to go during the start of the school year if she was going to a technical school at the same time. and we havent talked since

Yeah my (very short) conversation about where she could go would be more long term like, "go to heck", only with more expletives...
The only girl I've ever kept any meaningful relationship with after the breakup, is two states away... and we seldom speak. On purpose.

cassanova · #16 12-01-2008, 10:58 PM

I'm not friends with a single one of my ex's and there is a good reason why they are called ex's.

MakiSupaStar · #17 12-01-2008, 11:04 PM

If by "friends" you mean a sex buddy with benefits then yes. And if by "friends" you mean, I'll-call-you-and-you-don't-call-me-and-when-I-do-call-you-it-won't-be-to-talk-but-it-will-be-drunk-at-two-in-the-morning-because-I-couldn't-drag-another-slag-home, then sure.

. Not that uncommon really.

**Mark Wilson** · #18 12-01-2008, 11:14 PM

My ex and I are still (almost) best friends.

tplyons · #19 12-02-2008, 12:01 AM

The most recent ex and I still talk. It was bitter for a while after she cheated on me, but I realized that two years of her being my best friend went to waste, so I manned up and called her to say happy birthday on her birthday.

We're there for each other if need be, but we're not best friends by any means. I'm out in Pennsylvania, she's up in Boston.

Thunder_Fingers · #20 12-02-2008, 12:08 AM

Yeah, I would say I'm friends with her, She's doing the sound at a place where one of my bands have played a few times lately, And we spoke without problems. Though I havent seen her much since we moved apart.. Not that it is anything that I realy care about..