Stuff they don't tell you about being on the road....

**Pacman** · #1 03-07-2008, 11:30 PM

When your daughter has to spend her 10th birthday without her parents because they're both on the road....

When you call home to talk to your kid, she bursts into tears every time....

When she calls you at 4:30am (she has no concept of time zones...) to say good morning, daddy (ok - that's actually pretty cool, despite being woken up before God is...)

Sometimes, you just want to go home....

**Mark Wilson** · #2 03-07-2008, 11:50 PM

Man you're killin me here

**SoComSurfing** · #3 03-07-2008, 11:52 PM

Hate to hear that, Jon. Where does this weekend find you?

HEIST · #4 03-08-2008, 02:33 AM

Her 10th eh.

My 10th was the only one that both of my parents made the effort to be there and celebrate.

Wish you guys a happy reunion soon.

Barfly · #5 03-08-2008, 08:13 AM

Did you and your wife make the choice to be away or was it unavoidable?

Depth_Charge · #6 03-08-2008, 08:30 AM

Isn't it always a choice?? Choose the lifestyle, choose the consequence. Doesn't make the suck factor of not seeing your kids feel any less of course. I feel your pain Pacman. Here's hoping for a swift return!

**Pacman** · #7 03-08-2008, 09:23 AM

Yeah, sorry guys, I was throwing a pity party for myself last night. I'm here in Tucson, my wife is in training at Ft Dix (she's deploying to the sandbox soon), and kiddo is back home. She's doing ok, better every day, but man you sure can miss your kids!

Barfly, both me and my wife are in the military, so there's very little choice involved.

**SoComSurfing** · #8 03-08-2008, 09:28 AM

Oh wow. Will you be given a little more allowance to stay home when your wife is deployed? All the best with that! If she doesn't yet, in the future your daughter will understand when she realizes what an amazingly respectable thing it is her parents are doing. Here's to hoping you and your girls will be together soon.

**Marcus Willett** · #9 03-08-2008, 09:30 AM

I can dig it...being on the road can really suck. That's why I am very grateful to have a full-time gig that isn't a road gig.

Hang in there bro...

**Pacman** · #10 03-08-2008, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoComSurfing

Oh wow. Will you be given a little more allowance to stay home when your wife is deployed? All the best with that! If she doesn't yet, in the future your daughter will understand when she realizes what an amazingly respectable thing it is her parents are doing. Here's to hoping you and your girls will be together soon.

Well, not really. We only have one tour scheduled during that time, though. We have other gigs out of town, but I'm pretty sure I can bring her on some of those. Since I've achieved a rank that guarantees me my own hotel room (finally!), I can take her without having to worry too much. Plus, that's life education, right?

mike phillips · #11 03-08-2008, 09:45 AM

i feel for ya. when we was busch racin we was always workin or travelin. home was just a word. i missed six years of my young un growin up. i would always find a note from her in the sleeve of my nomex with a picture she drew. tuesday night i would pack up my raceday gear and put it in the corner by the door and wednesday morn i would find the dog sleepin on it. that dog would get downright angry when i tried to take it to go. yes, it sucked bein on the road. all the drivin, eatin whenever or whatever, at all hours of the night. hardly sleepin in your own bed, tiny bathrooms. i hope all works out well for you and your family. good luck and be safe.

jady · #12 03-08-2008, 10:07 AM

Big hugs to you and yours Jon. Missing your family sucks in a way nothing else can.............

kesslari · #13 03-08-2008, 10:17 AM

Being in the military means you can miss your kids without even being a touring musician... Let alone being both a musician AND mil...
Hope you guys can get back together soon.

Marcus Johnson · #14 03-08-2008, 10:23 AM

Ouch... I'm feelin' ya, Jon. At least we're the lucky ones that get to know what it's like to miss our daughters, because the time we get with them is really a blessing.

bongomania · #15 03-08-2008, 10:29 AM

I dunno. I was "raised" by parents who moved constantly, spent a lot of time on the road, gave me lots of "life education"

opportunities, and who were completely satisfied that as long as they did whatever they set out to do, I'd be fine.

I cannot express to you how f'ed up I became under that kind of "care", and how today- I'm 37, and have spent over 10 years in counseling- I still have a deep difficulty attaching to anyone, forming healthy relationships, or maintaining any relationships.

I'm not sorry for you at all.

NJL · #16 03-08-2008, 10:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pacman

When your daughter has to spend her 10th birthday without her parents because they're both on the road....

When you call home to talk to your kid, she bursts into tears every time....

When she calls you at 4:30am (she has no concept of time zones...) to say good morning, daddy (ok - that's actually pretty cool, despite being woken up before God is...)

Sometimes, you just want to go home....

Hang in there, Jon!

Once you get back and settle in, it's my turn to buy lunch..

peterbright · #17 03-08-2008, 10:47 AM

Hang in there. Give her a big hug when you see her.

lump · #18 03-08-2008, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bongomania

I dunno. I was "raised" by parents who moved constantly, spent a lot of time on the road, gave me lots of "life education"

opportunities, and who were completely satisfied that as long as they did whatever they set out to do, I'd be fine.

I cannot express to you how f'ed up I became under that kind of "care", and how today- I'm 37, and have spent over 10 years in counseling- I still have a deep difficulty attaching to anyone, forming healthy relationships, or maintaining any relationships.

I'm not sorry for you at all.

Please do not project your experiences on Jon. There is a huge difference between living a nomadic, bohemian lifestyle (I'm assuming here) and being a military brat. Military brats are a tightly-knit, identifiable subculture unto themselves. Yes, there are definite hardships for both the parents and the children, but in general the benefits far outweigh them. Tiger Woods springs immediately to mind--he seems to be doing okay.

Forgive the Wiki link, but I have a cold and I'm lazy today. Pretty accurate though, IMO.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Militar...S._subculture)

We are all the product of our parents' choices. Some are good, some are bad. And some of us would be f'd up either way.

Gard · #19 03-08-2008, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lump

Please do not project your experiences on Jon. There is a huge difference between living a nomadic, bohemian lifestyle (I'm assuming here) and being a military brat. Military brats are a tightly-knit, identifiable subculture unto themselves. Yes, there are definite hardships for both the parents and the children, but in general the benefits far outweigh them. Tiger Woods springs immediately to mind--he seems to be doing okay.

Forgive the Wiki link, but I have a cold and I'm lazy today. Pretty accurate though, IMO.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Militar...S._subculture)

We are all the product of our parents' choices. Some are good, some are bad. And some of us would be f'd up either way.

Big +1, thanks for typing what I was about to, Lump.

I'm not military, but I am a military brat, and I NEVER had trouble because of the choices of my family, and how those choices affected the time I spent with my father. I have always known, from my first memories, that my father loved me and wanted to be with me, even when I didn't see him for weeks at a time, and I had not the slightest clue as to where he was. Yes, I missed him; yes, I hated it when he left. But, I understood that it was important, and that he was always my father.

My wife, who's mother was always "there", was essentially abandoned by her (psychatrist) father. Mom seemed to treat her like an ornament, not a small developing person. Mom is doing better now, but still lacking a bit. This has made my wife have some serious issues with being alone, and can be very frustrating.

It's the parents, not the lifestyle that causes issues like bongo's. I know full-time touring musicians that have incredibly close bonds with their children, and I know stay-at-home moms that don't even know their own children.

davetakis · #20 03-08-2008, 12:30 PM

one thing i have always wondered, when both parents are in the military and if they both get deployed, who cares for the kids? if a family membeer is not available.....