Stupid computer questions

crow01 · #1 04-07-2009, 11:29 AM

1. John: A tech guy came to install more RAM memory so he formatted the hard drive. And I lost half of my emails!

Me: I am thinking. That doesn't make sense, this is like saying, "I had a flat tire so they changed the engine", or "my E string broke, so they replaced the truss rod, pickups and the bridge")

I checked his computer and they didn't format the hard drive. I see he is using both Outlook express and MS Outlook. And I see that half of his emails are in one and the rest in the other.

2. Mary: The printer doesn't work so I have not been able to print any of my work

Me: Is it connected to the outlet? (Enough said)

3. Joe: My computer is making weird noises and smells like burning

Me: I open up the computer and there was half a sandwich inside. (gross, really gross). I said "Ehh what's this doing here?"

Joe: Oh I was looking for that.

4. Jane: My internet doesn't work. I wasted 3 hours already.

Me: Is the internet cable connected? (enough said...again)

(Note: John, Mary, Joe, and Jane are not real names. But this is the kind of crap I have to deal with)

Eublet · #2 04-07-2009, 11:32 AM

Haha. If you want a good laugh, check out the website below, which chronicles the help desk work performed by a person named George, and all the hell the manager went through trying to make sense of it. It's hillarious.

http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/

jive1 · #3 04-07-2009, 11:37 AM

Back when I was a PC Tech yearss ago, I had to deal with these kinds of things all the time.

But,there is a perk. When I'd get these calls, and have to drive out to the site to check this out, I used to get all pissed that I had to drive out to xxx to solve a problem/non problem that could have been fixed in seconds. Instead, I looked at it as a reason to take an additional coffee/smoke/lunch break, and I began to enjoy my job alot more.

Remember, as a help desk, PC tech, those annoying users are the reason why you get a check every two weeks. If they were all savvy, you'd be out of a job. Next time, take one of your dumbest users out for coffee and thank them for being clueless.

sean.1986 · #4 04-07-2009, 11:43 AM

I hate being good with computers. People always ask my help and they never pay me. I bet if I came round and fixed their plumbing they'd set me a few quid.

crayzee · #5 04-07-2009, 01:01 PM

Heh... reminds me of one call I got...

-Frantic Lady: OMG, you have to help me!
-Me: What's goin' on?
-FL: I just see a red, green and blue bar floating around on my screen
-Me: Is the monitor plugged into the computer?
-FL: Hold on...
<1 minute goes by>
-FL: I must've unplugged it when I was cleaning under my desk.
-Me: Yeah... that's ok.

ehque · #6 04-07-2009, 01:04 PM

I tend to be the go to guy for computer problems, but my friends are a little more savvy than that.

tplyons · #7 04-07-2009, 01:07 PM

I too am the local computer nerd. I avoid advertising it for this reason.

iamlowsound · #8 04-07-2009, 01:16 PM

I don't know anything about computers, so I bought a mac and it makes coffee for me.

lowsound

Eublet · #9 04-07-2009, 01:18 PM

I very seldom help people I know with issues. I've learned over the years that it snow balls very quickly, and they start calling at odd, random hours for the littlest things. Extended family are the worst offenders. Helping them is like leaving milk out for the stray cats. They never go away.

Eublet · #10 04-07-2009, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamlowsound

I don't know anything about computers, so I bought a mac and it makes coffee for me.

lowsound

Please don't steer the conversation in this direction. I beg you.

froovs · #11 04-07-2009, 01:20 PM

dont understand (most of) youguys

do advertise the fact

do not fix computers for no money (unless for real friends and then dont do it for nothing, if theyre a good cook get them to make you lunch, whatever, dont do things your good at for nothing, people will take advantage)

even in a small town you can make a passable living, name your own hours and make it fit in with your music

cheers
froovs

PSPookie · #12 04-07-2009, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamlowsound

I don't know anything about computers, so I bought a mac and it makes coffee for me.

lowsound

You know, a coffee maker is a much more cost-effective solution.

mjolnir · #13 04-07-2009, 01:32 PM

Ah yes, the old "clients can be so retarded" bit, I know it oh so very well.

Here's one for you:

(Joe calls me frantic)
Joe: My CD drive isn't working!

Me: What's the problem?

Joe: It won't take the CD!

Me: So it's operating, but won't actually read the disk?

Joe: Exactly.

Me: Alright, I'll take a look.

(I head to Joe's office, and what I find is Joe sitting there bewildered as he keeps trying to shove a floppy disk into the CD drive.)

And the classic call:

User: My computer isn't working!

Me: Is it powered on?

User: Of course it is, what do you take me for?!??

Me: Just checking. Is the monitor on?

User: ...

Me: (grins)

User: (click)

jive1 · #14 04-07-2009, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sean.1986

I hate being good with computers. People always ask my help and they never pay me. I bet if I came round and fixed their plumbing they'd set me a few quid.

I'm a pretty busy guy, so when someone asks that question, I usually refer them to someone who can do the work in a more timely fashion. Of course that person doesn't work for free.
Makes people realize that your time is important, and that people are out there that get paid for that thing. When that happens, they may respond by offering cash or services since they still rather have you do the work since they trust you.

Actually when I think of it, I can't think of the last time anyone other than my wife asked me to help with their computer.

Stanley Design · #15 04-07-2009, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jive1

I'm a pretty busy guy, so when someone asks that question, I usually refer them to someone who can do the work in a more timely fashion. Of course that person doesn't work for free.
Makes people realize that your time is important, and that people are out there that get paid for that thing. When that happens, they may respond by offering cash or services since they still rather have you do the work since they trust you.

Actually when I think of it, I can't think of the last time anyone other than my wife asked me to help with their computer.

Perfect way to handle that.

Eublet · #16 04-07-2009, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jive1

I'm a pretty busy guy, so when someone asks that question, I usually refer them to someone who can do the work in a more timely fashion. Of course that person doesn't work for free.
Makes people realize that your time is important, and that people are out there that get paid for that thing. When that happens, they may respond by offering cash or services since they still rather have you do the work since they trust you.

Actually when I think of it, I can't think of the last time anyone other than my wife asked me to help with their computer.

That's close to my approach, with the same results. I get very few requests anymore. The only difference is I don't ever have any intention of helping them even if they offer to pay me. I work enough at my consulting job, which is enterprise level work. I could do that 24/7 if it were physically possible and I wanted to make more money. They usually understand when I explain it.

I used to be gracious and humble with family and friends when they'd call. Now I just tell them I don't have the time to help them because of my own job and family. If they offer to pay me, I just tell them that any amount they would give is not worth my free time, and that they could find some college kid to do it much cheaper than what I'd charge. If they really insist that it's worth it to them to pay me more since they trust me, then I'll give them my enterprise rate per hour. That usually ends the conversation pretty quickly, and they wind up calling Geek Squad.

jive1 · #17 04-07-2009, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eublet

I used to be gracious and humble with family and friends when they'd call. Now I just tell them I don't have the time to help them because of my own job and family. If they offer to pay me, I just tell them that any amount they would give is not worth my free time, and that they could find some college kid to do it much cheaper than what I'd charge. If they really insist that it's worth it to them to pay me more since they trust me, then I'll give them my enterprise rate per hour. That usually ends the conversation pretty quickly, and they wind up calling Geek Squad.

I have given my government rate to people a few times, and I get some interesting responses.

MonetBass · #18 04-07-2009, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sean.1986

I hate being good with computers. People always ask my help and they never pay me. I bet if I came round and fixed their plumbing they'd set me a few quid.

Here's what I tell non-friends and non-family: "Sure I can take a look at it. But I charge $75/hour." (Which is cheaper than Geek Squad or anyone else, so they always agree to it.)

James Hart · #19 04-07-2009, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by froovs

dont understand (most of) youguys

do advertise the fact

do not fix computers for no money (unless for real friends and then dont do it for nothing, if theyre a good cook get them to make you lunch, whatever, dont do things your good at for nothing, people will take advantage)

even in a small town you can make a passable living, name your own hours and make it fit in with your music

cheers
froovs

I love 'fix my computer' meals... but I rarely fix others computers any more. Just my in-laws these days.

I spent a LOT of years working the 'interwebz help desk' scene and really hate the hate techs have against non techs. I had a major realization years ago...

The use of a PC hardware and software wise IS NOT hard to understand, but a majority of people couldn't care less about it other then when they turn it on... it works. I've teched a few 'ID10T' users onto the interwebz that got me a laugh... only problem is 'we' are the rude, antisocial, elitist geeks to the Doctors, Lawyers, Accountants, Engineers, etc on the other side that ACTUALLY have major schooling and far deeper knowledge of things than the typical help desk 'kid'.

That said... I had a guy swear we were corrupting Usenet binaries. I asked for examples he gave me news groups with no actually binaries associated??? Further reading into him, his reactions to questions and the issue at hand I asked him to go into his display settings. Windows 95 had lost it's video driver and was running crippled @ 640x480 & 8-bit color... it was making his pr0n all pixelly and jagged

I spent 10 minutes showing him how to download and install a new driver... he ended up emailing my boss as a thank you.

jive1 · #20 04-07-2009, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by froovs

dont understand (most of) youguys

do advertise the fact

do not fix computers for no money (unless for real friends and then dont do it for nothing, if theyre a good cook get them to make you lunch, whatever, dont do things your good at for nothing, people will take advantage)

even in a small town you can make a passable living, name your own hours and make it fit in with your music

cheers
froovs

I like your idea, but for some reason bringing up money pisses some people off.

I lost a friendship because I refused to build a website for a friend's favorite restaurant for free. He flipped when I talked about money. I tried to reason with him and give rational reason why I wouldn't do ANY website for someone else for free. He called me low class, we had an exchange, and I haven't talked to him since.

I have no regrets though. If our friendship was determined by the amount of favors done for him, then it really wasn't a friendship in the first place.