Tattoo Pt 2 - it's irrelevant now

Brummie · #1 08-31-2008, 05:33 PM

Well,
when I started the other thread I missed out some detail that wasn't really relevant but over the weekend has become, it turns the tattoo into an irrelevant matter.
The friend that my daughter went with to get a tattoo with is my best mate Dave's daughter, Dave has pancreatic cancer and recently took a down turn and went into hospital, he had an Op Friday evening to look at a blockage in his colon but they closed him up again and didn't operate. We found out last night through his wife - who happens to be my wifes best friend - that the cancer has spread severly and he won't come home from hospital, it'll probably be this week.
I've been heart broken since he was diagnosed over 15 months ago but I do feel a bit relieved because I have seen him in severe pain.
Me & Mrs Brummie were around his house today filling the fridge and doing the ironing, it was wierd ironing my mates clothes - he'll never wear them again but I couldn't just leave them.
I'm going to see him tomorrow and it'll be difficult for both of us, he's never known how long he had or how the cancer had progressed - he just asked for his medication and went home every week, I think not knowing helped him along, his wife always went in and found out the nitty gritty - someone had to.
But anyway, we both know now - so I'm not sure what we'll say to each other, he's very morphine'd up anyway.

Anyway, please don't post with sarcastic replies that say 'why did she' & 'why did his daughter' I don't really need it.
cheers for reading.
Oh yeah, the tattoo, I dunno. My daughter is the type that 'WANTS' but only 'WANTS' then doesn't want stuff when she has it, same goes with tattoo. I don't like to hear my kids swearing but was amused yesterday when she was holding her arm, I thought she was admiring the tattoo but she said 'It looks really sh*t, doesn't it'.
Thanks to all those who posted on the first thread - cheers.

Thunderscreech · #2 08-31-2008, 05:45 PM

My condolences to you and your friends family.

Brummie · #3 08-31-2008, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Thunderscreech

My condolences to you and your friends family.

Hi, he's still got at most a week to go but it wells my eyes up reading a reply to the thread, i'm not sure if I was expecting any but cheers for replying.

CanadaMan · #4 08-31-2008, 06:12 PM

That's got to be one of the hardest things to go through, I can't imagine life without my best friend. You have my condolences as well, don't stress about the tattoo, you've got much bigger things on your mind right now.

Brummie · #5 08-31-2008, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CanadaMan

That's got to be one of the hardest things to go through, I can't imagine life without my best friend. You have my condolences as well, don't stress about the tattoo, you've got much bigger things on your mind right now.

Cheers,
I haven't known Dave that long (about 14 years) but he's the best mate I could ever have, the same sence of humour as me, a great musician (unlike me) & more bizarre that his wife and his are best friends, they all knew each other just before I knew him (the kids were at nursery). I don't think you really admit to having a best mate when your married and 44, but he still is my best mate.
I'm at work tonight but I'll probably go home and have a whiskey in an hour or so, after that I'll probably keep my head down from TB, during times like this you (one) can say things they don't mean.
cheers

i_got_a_mohawk · #6 08-31-2008, 06:22 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that

I know the feelings, this year I lost two friends, one of which younger than me, to cancer, and currently to guys I know are also on the last legs due to cancer, it is a horrible horrible thing and I hope you all the best, I hope he isnt in too much pain and his family and yours have my best wishes.

Trevorus · #7 08-31-2008, 06:24 PM

Hey, man. Be sure to spend as much time with your friend while you can. Prayers your way, man.

scootron · #8 08-31-2008, 06:32 PM

It's inspiring how individuals begin to have family feelings for people on a forum, but it happens. On my baseball forum, we're presently worried about our friends in the path of Gustav.

Now, in that same spirit, people you have and likely will never meet feel empathy for you and your friend, and wish you the best. I join with them. We hope things turn out as well as possible for you and yours.

Brummie · #9 08-31-2008, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scootron

It's inspiring how individuals begin to have family feelings for people on a forum, but it happens. On my baseball forum, we're presently worried about our friends in the path of Gustav.

Now, in that same spirit, people you have and likely will never meet feel empathy for you and your friend, and wish you the best. I join with them. We hope things turn out as well as possible for you and yours.

Cheers,
It is good to know there are people on TB, I haven't really talked to anyone much in the last 24 hours because we're all stunned that things changed so quick & very numb & left to their own thoughs - it's feels good to post about, it still difficult but good to get good wishes and to know that others have experiences with cancer - it's such a sh*t thing isn't it.
cheers again.

Scarlet Fire · #10 08-31-2008, 06:47 PM

I went through something similar a year ago. It's a horrible experience. My condolences.

If you decide you need someone to talk to in private, my PM box is open.

hbarcat · #11 08-31-2008, 07:41 PM

This appears to be one of those terrible life experiences that forces everyone to learn a painful lesson. Regret over a hastily acquired tattoo seems like a small thing to worry about compared to death from cancer.

May you all find comfort (and perhaps even an occasional moment of happiness) with your mutual friends and families.

Jeff K · #12 08-31-2008, 10:52 PM

I've lost several good friends to car accidents and war. That's pretty tough; but it must be awful to have to watch your friend slowly fading. Especially when you know he's in pain. My thoughts and prayers are with both of you, as well as your families...

kesslari · #13 09-01-2008, 12:37 AM

Oh man. Things like this put our lives right into perspective.
I'm sorry for your mate, and for the loss to his family and friends.
Hang in there.

mrokern · #14 09-01-2008, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brummie

it's such a sh*t thing isn't it.

It is.

Thoughts and prayers for your friend, you, and both your families. And there's no shame in having a best mate at 44...the world would be a better place if everyone had one.

-Mark

mike phillips · #15 09-01-2008, 09:10 AM

im sorry to hear about your friend. our thoughts and prayers are with the familys.

Joe Gress · #16 09-01-2008, 09:27 PM

My sincere condolences to you, your family, and your friends family. I shall do a toast to all of youl tonight. God speed to you.

msquared · #17 09-01-2008, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joeinsprings

I shall do a toast to all of youl tonight. God speed to you.

Same here.

And I'll definitely take this as yet another reminder to appreciate the friends and family I have around me.

My condolences to all involved, and hang in there.

EricF · #18 09-01-2008, 11:35 PM

Condolences and prayers for your friend, his family, your family, and everyone involved.

Sometimes it takes something drastic to remind us about what matters most in life - family and friends. Your daughter did something stupid, but like you said, it's irrelevant when compared to the situation with your friend.

froovs · #19 09-02-2008, 11:46 AM

from here too

i didnt understand grief and loss till earlier this year, but now i *really* get it

small comfort i know, but at least you will get some time to say what needs to be said and such

i think thats important

cheers
Lucy

BillyRay · #20 09-02-2008, 12:03 PM

I'll be having a whiskey over here for you and your friend Dave tonight.