TB DADS, PLEASE ADVISE

[bassteban]

A good friend & TBer- who shall for now remain nameless- recently became a father. In lieu of a proper baby-shower-type gift-thingie, I'm asking all TB fathers to add one piece(at a time- feel freee to come back for more )of advice to a new dad. Humor is of course welcome, but please speak from experience- or at least the experience of seeing the advice presented in action.
I'll go first: Let the kid(s)be wrong. We made a huge mistake w/our first- I believe- by contantly *correcting* the lad. For example, he'd see something & say 'Look at that ______'; we'd nearly always say, 'Actually, that is a/an ________.' True, perhaps- but now all 3 of my brood CANNOT allow the slightest inaccuracy to slide by, even temporarily.
Next?

[tk421]

kids have their own bed FOR A REASON.

you should never ever ever EVER be letting the kid bunk with the adults. i have an adopted friend (my wife's friends actually) who's daughter slept in their bed from birth until the 4th birthday.

[pacojas]

always BURP the baby real good after feedings. don't be afraid to whack the gas out of that tiny infant.

[kesslari]

Much of the advice that people will give you will be misguided garbage.
Trust your heart, and your instincts, and love your kid, and enjoy your time with him (or her).

[hover]

Even if you're not the easily frustrated type, take that second deep breath before tackling anything. Realize that this is all new to the baby too. You're learning TOGETHER.

[bassteban]

Originally Posted by kesslari

Much of the advice that people will give you will be misguided garbage.
Trust your heart, and your instincts, and love your kid, and enjoy your time with him (or her).

This is why I'm asking fathers- I knew far more about how to be a dad before I actually became one; what I mean is, nearly every blindly judgemental BS statement I ever made(OMG, I would NEVER do THAT)about others' child-rearing abilities has come back & bit me in my wrinkley keister.
Another one from me: Take LOTS of pictures.

[Basshappi]

RUN!......REAL FAST!!

[bassteban]

Originally Posted by Basshappi

RUN!......REAL FAST!!

That's every day for me...

[king_biscuit]

You are the adult, and you need to set boundaries with the child. Also, teach your child good manners (please, thank you, etc...).

[::::BASSIST::::]

Patience is one thing you need alot of.

The first 8 months or so is the hardest. Baby waking up for feeding 2+ times per night and the wife getting super grumpy = difficult times.

Being a good father is NOT easy. Nobody seems to prepare you for that. If you ignore your kids and stick them infront of the tv/computer/video game it will come back to bite you in the ass. Investing in your relationship with your child should be priority number one.

[becker4567]

Originally Posted by hover

Even if you're not the easily frustrated type, take that second deep breath before tackling anything. Realize that this is all new to the baby too. You're learning TOGETHER.

The best advice by far! Patience is the greatest virtue of all. And by the way, when raising a child, there is no rule book, just use your heart (and some good common sense!)

[EricF]

My mom used to say, "Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids." I had no idea how wise she was until I became a father.

There will be a time very soon when your child will look at you and say, "I love you, Daddy". At that moment, he/she could set the couch on fire and it would be okay. However, your innocent little child will very soon learn the power of that statement, and wield it like a sword. My point is: Kids are smarter and more manipulative than you think. Do not underestimate them.

Your child sees and hears everything. Don't assume just because they never seem to pay attention to you, that they aren't. They will mimic your words, your behavior, your temperment, etc...usually at the most embarassing moment.

A story...
On the way home from work one Friday evening, I realized that my supply of Jack Daniels (my booze of choice) was gone, so I stopped by the local grocery store. While I was there, my wife sent me a text message telling me we needed more diapers for our daughter. So, there I was in the checkout line - 1 big bottle of JD, 1 big pack of diapers. The cashier looked at me, and said, "Yep. I've been there, too."

[PSPookie]

No one ever died from a skinned knee.

You have to let your kid make mistakes. That's how we learn. You have to learn to distinguish between important safety issue and less serious dangers.

[FL Knifemaker]

Originally Posted by tk421

kids have their own bed FOR A REASON.

you should never ever ever EVER be letting the kid bunk with the adults. i have an adopted friend (my wife's friends actually) who's daughter slept in their bed from birth until the 4th birthday.

+110

I never understood the mindset of having kids sleep in their parents bed. I've NEVER seen it work out for the best.

[Happynoj]

I am not a father, but I would advise teaching your kid the importance of correct spelling and grammar. It was one of the things that my dad always stressed, and although it irritated me a lot of the time (mainly when he was picking up on tiny things that I thought didn't matter), I'm glad of it now.

[DudeistMonk]

Originally Posted by FL Knifemaker

+110

I never understood the mindset of having kids sleep in their parents bed. I've NEVER seen it work out for the best.

Well it worked well enough for the Eskimos...

Sorry I couldn't help myself... I'll just show my bachelor *** to the door now.

[smallbutmighty]

"Quality Time" with your kids, as commonly defined, is pure myth, IMO.

***Quality only exists in the midst of quantity.***

It is not the parent that gets to choose when quality time will occur.....it is the kid. As parents our job is to be active enough in our children's lives so that when they decide they are ready to learn, to bond, to ask questions, or to listen, in other words: to have "quality time", we are there seize that opportunity.

Sometimes that is during the nice family picnic at the beach that you planned for two weeks, or the baseball game you bought expensive tickets for. More often, it is in those precious first 10 minutes when they walk in the door from school every day, or at 2:00 in the morning, when all you want to do is sleep.

Now that my kids are at an age where they are ready to leave home, I can say with a surety that all those fleeting little moments are worth more to both them and me than any extravagant thing I ever did for them.

[kesslari]

Originally Posted by FL Knifemaker

+110

I never understood the mindset of having kids sleep in their parents bed. I've NEVER seen it work out for the best.

I have. Lots of times. Probably did for your grandparents, and for most of your ancestors before them. As well as mine. Young kids having their own beds (and their own rooms) is a very recent development, historically.

The idea sure does polarize people, though. Read "The Family Bed" by Tine Thevenin, if you're interested in an informed alternative to your opinion. Or keep your opinion if you like.

[DaveLS]

When they turn into teenagers your wife will become a freakin' nutcase. There is nothing you can do but watch helplessly as she slips into insanity.

[monzamess]

My daughters, when they're not mad at me, only want to spend time with me. Sometimes they insist on a particular activity, or I insist on one (when I'm sick of the kiddie princess foofoo stuff), but mainly they just want the attention and interaction.

Most people outside of your immediate family and friends don't give a crap about your kid's latest milestone or cute moment.

Your friends and associates without kids will probably be somewhat alienated as your life and priorities change. Try to be understanding but roll with it and don't fight it. This is your new job.