Things are about to get awkward.

cassanova · #1 07-30-2009, 11:05 AM

Long story short, my cousin Jenn & 2 other cousins (chris & karolyn) are going to be making a trip to Florida. I haven't seen or talked to any of these folks in over 20 years. In fact, the first time I talked to any of them in all that time was yesterday.

I have mixed emotions on this. I remember them from when we were kids and really did enjoy their company. We were all pretty close back then, so there is a part of me that is looking forward to it. There is also the other side that thinks "who cares, they're not family anymore because you haven't seen/talked in 2 decades, etc etc." I really do not know these people anymore and childhood memories we all share can/will only go so far. I have a feeling its going to be very weird for all of us.

jwbassman · #2 07-30-2009, 11:10 AM

All I can say is have an open mind and treat them the way you'd like to be treated and get to know each other again. Maybe plan an activity together that can serve as a "ice breaker".

vbasscustom · #3 07-30-2009, 11:14 AM

yeah, take your bass and play some jumpin tunes while singing a song that doesnt match the timing or rythm of the song

Joe Gress · #4 07-30-2009, 01:23 PM

It's a small world. You never know how much you actually have in common with the guy next to you.

cassanova · #5 07-30-2009, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwbassman

All I can say is have an open mind and treat them the way you'd like to be treated and get to know each other again. Maybe plan an activity together that can serve as a "ice breaker".

My mind is pretty open about all this and I will treat them with the utmost respect and dignity. My brother's, sister, mom/dad, and nieces & nephew live down here too, so it's not like they're coming down here just to see me. I'm thinking once the awkwardness of the initial meet and great is over things will flow pretty smoothly.

Good idea on the planned activity. I was thinking about everyone going to Bush Gardens in Tampa. We're also going to host a party on Saturday night, so I've made some calls and called in favors with musicians I know, so we'll provide some live entertainment for the night too. Other than that and possibly taking them to the beaches I can't think of anything else.

curandero · #6 07-30-2009, 01:43 PM

My parents split up when I was 12 and my mother and I moved to FL, separating me from a large part of my family on my fathers side. 25 years later I moved back to reconnect with my family that I missed so much only to find that most of them have the "who cares, they're not family anymore because you haven't seen/talked in 2 decades, etc etc." attitude. Real bummer for me.

popinfresh · #7 07-30-2009, 01:48 PM

Why will the initial meet be awkward? Have you not seen them for 20 years because of negative reasons?

I see my extended family maybe once a year, we don't really talk much, and if it were to be longer periods of time between seeing them, I don't see it ever being awkward.

They're family, and they ARE coming to see you (whether there's other family or not). Appreciate it, be excited and have fun. You have 20 years to catch up on, not just memories of childhood.

bui · #8 07-30-2009, 03:01 PM

Pics, or no hot cousins. None of the dude though.

cassanova · #9 07-30-2009, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curandero

My parents split up when I was 12 and my mother and I moved to FL, separating me from a large part of my family on my fathers side. 25 years later I moved back to reconnect with my family that I missed so much only to find that most of them have the "who cares, they're not family anymore because you haven't seen/talked in 2 decades, etc etc." attitude. Real bummer for me.

For years I've said "they're not family to me anymore" I've thought that for so long and always assumed they thought it too, made mention of it to her in an email too. I was wrong about that part at least when it came to her. So that's got me starting to change my thought processes on this whole thing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by popinfresh

Why will the initial meet be awkward? Have you not seen them for 20 years because of negative reasons?

On my part not at all. I was forced to relocate down here with my parents when I was 11.

It's just awkward for me. I tend to just clam up and not really talk when put in situations when I'm around new people. I also think a lot of it has to do with the attitude I held for many years and thought they held too. "they're not family to me anymore."

cassanova · #10 07-30-2009, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bui

Pics, or no hot cousins. None of the dude though.

Well then I guess to you I don't have attractive cousins because I am not posting a pics of them.

Norwegianwood · #11 07-30-2009, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bui

Pics, or no hot cousins. None of the dude though.

I second that.

Chunk-O-Funk · #12 07-30-2009, 05:23 PM

I was in a similar situation a couple of years ago. I predict you will drop the whole "they're not family to me" attitude.

It was one of my cousins too. About twenty five years or more ago, he pretty much packed up his stuff and moved in with one of those religious cults. Cut off all ties with his family including his mother and father. It wasn't easy for them. From what I understand it was one of those cults where he lived in a commune and everything he did, money wise went to the parish.

I don't have all the details, but his mother and father were able to visit once in a while. He actually moved somewhere in the mid-west. We are on the east coast. Eventually my cousin got out. I really don't know what became of the cult he was in, but he has been living in Cincinnati with his wife and family for quite a few years.

The first time I've seen him since his departure was just a few years ago. It was his first time retuning back to his home town and his family threw a big welcome home party for him. I'll tell you, he may have been older and a little more rounder, but he was the same guy I knew back in my teens. Now, he regularly visits his family including an annual cookout at his parents house. Just like old times.

Now you think that would have been a real awkward situation. I'm not the talkative type either, but once we broke the ice it was great seeing him again and meeting the rest of his family. The subject of "WTH happen to you" never came up, because hey, they're family. It's really not as important as his returning. I guess the point I'm making is never let anything get in-between you and your family and friends.

Good luck!