As of tonight, I've given up all my vices.

McHaven · #1 01-25-2008, 11:54 PM

Tonight, my friends approached me and told me how self-destructive I've been. I've been using drugs for about 2 and a half years now. I'd do pretty much anything I can get my hands on.

Tonight my friends told me how distanced they felt from me, what bad a shape I was getting into, and how behind I was getting with everything in my life. My playing had suffered, my academics had suffered and my friends were all disappearing minute by minute. For the last few weeks I had kind of binged, because I felt so alone.

I'm not a religious man and never turned to any sort of higher being to try and help myself so I had just about nothing to turn to. I'm incredibly glad my friends were willing to help me and be there for me now. I've missed them so incredibly much and I'm doing all I can to win them back. I really need them in my life right now.
I've realized that I was just attempting to escape all these feelings I had that I had no idea what to do with. Drugs were my escape tactic and I realize that now. I'm tired of just pushing away the feelings for a night. I'm ready to confront them. I have my pen, my bass and my friends to help me. I'm going to focus all these bad things into my music and my writing.

I've given my word to my friends and my family. I'm going to beat these shortcomings of mine and grow up and face reality. It's going to be hard, but it's going to be well worth it to have people that care about me again.

I'm not writing this for sympathy, but for the fact if I write it down more and more, I feel I'll be sure to not slip back into my destructive habits. (Passive suicide some of my friends called it)

Thank you for taking the time to read this,
Mick Haven

MakiSupaStar · #2 01-25-2008, 11:58 PM

Print this out and post it on your fridge and on your bathroom mirror as a reminder. Good luck dude.

McHaven · #3 01-26-2008, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Print this out and post it on your fridge and on your bathroom mirror as a reminder. Good luck dude.

Thanks Maki. I've put some messages up on the mirrors in the dorm and set my desktop background to some inspiration quotes. I sincerely believe I can overcome this as long as I have love and bass. Music is a powerful powerful thing.

**Ryan L.** · #4 01-26-2008, 12:12 AM

Best of luck to ya, and I mean that.

HollowBassman · #5 01-26-2008, 12:14 AM

Good luck

santucci218 · #6 01-26-2008, 12:18 AM

at least you realize what you are doing while others deny it so much and destroy all relationships.

if you want some more inspiration, watch Intervention with travis meeks, its on youtube.

do as maki said. read this, write every day. never forget.

Foxworthy925 · #7 01-26-2008, 12:25 AM

Good on ya! We all have faith in you!

Oh and btw, I'm expecting some kickass songs to come from all this- don't disappoint us.

McHaven · #8 01-26-2008, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Foxworthy925

Good on ya! We all have faith in you!

Oh and btw, I'm expecting some kickass songs to come from all this- don't disappoint us.

I've managed to finish one I was writing already tonight. Maybe I'll record it sometime.

Thanks everyone for your support and kind words. I know its easy to say I'm quitting, but I really really want to and have the drive to do whatever it takes to get back to normal.

skaliwag66 · #9 01-26-2008, 12:38 AM

Start a blog to document your progress. Or an online journal.

McHaven · #10 01-26-2008, 12:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skaliwag66

Start a blog to document your progress. Or an online journal.

I've got a deviantart account but I don't really want to share that at the moment. I also had a blog but I haven't really updated it in months. I've been writing in my notebook and playing my bass since my friends talked to me and i'm finding a lot of inspiration. I really hope I can do this.

skaliwag66 · #11 01-26-2008, 12:47 AM

Doesn't really have to be shared. As long as you're writing and keeping yourself busy. it'd be cool to look back on it in a few years too. Good luck!

A9X · #12 01-26-2008, 01:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by McHaven

I really hope I can do this.

You can.

I've seen people give up long term addictions and have great lives afterwards. I smoked a huge amount of pot during my 20's and my GF at the time said I had to make a choice between her and the drugs. I'd been wanting to do it for ages, and had been very half heartedly trying to, but that was the trigger. I hope that this is with you.

You just need to decide it's time.

bassteban · #13 01-26-2008, 02:04 AM

Can we bug you about this later? you know, how ya doin' type stuff? I helped my best friend get through a bad addiction(chew- don't laugh, it's nasty)by calling him at least daily. I think a lot of TBers would be totally down for helping if we can.

McHaven · #14 01-26-2008, 02:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassteban

Can we bug you about this later? you know, how ya doin' type stuff? I helped my best friend get through a bad addiction(chew- don't laugh, it's nasty)by calling him at least daily. I think a lot of TBers would be totally down for helping if we can.

You certainly may. Reminders will certainly help me. That's why I've put stuff up on my walls to remind me to be strong, that I can overcome it all.

bassteban · #15 01-26-2008, 02:09 AM

Well, right on. It's been 26 hours now- how ya doin'?

McHaven · #16 01-26-2008, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassteban

Well, right on. It's been 26 hours now- how ya doin'?

Actually, it hasn't been that long. My friends intervened around 7 Friday evening. It is now 3am Saturday morning. So it hasn't been that long. I'm determined and I know its easy to say you're determined this early in, but i really mean it.

A9X · #17 01-26-2008, 02:14 AM

One further thought: will you need any medical help to detox? Sometimes it's not pleasant and may be harmful in itself. Don't mean to pry, but thought I'd mention it in case it's something you hadn't thought of as I'd like you to be successful.

Also, during this time, eat very well.

bassteban · #18 01-26-2008, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by McHaven

Actually, it hasn't been that long. My friends intervened around 7 Friday evening. It is now 3am Saturday morning. So it hasn't been that long. I'm determined and I know its easy to say you're determined this early in, but i really mean it.

I was going by the times you first posted vs right now. Anway, I went throught his w/weed 6 years ago. It can be done.
If getting on your case about it helps, count me in.

McHaven · #19 01-26-2008, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by A9X

One further thought: will you need any medical help to detox? Sometimes it's not pleasant and may be harmful in itself. Don't mean to pry, but thought I'd mention it in case it's something you hadn't thought of as I'd like you to be successful.

Also, during this time, eat very well.

I haven't done anything so hard that I'm going to have withdrawal symptoms, at least I don't think.

Ive got a bunch of meal credits saved up at school from not eating for awhile, so I'll be eating about 6 meals a day.

A9X · #20 01-26-2008, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by McHaven

I haven't done anything so hard that I'm going to have withdrawal symptoms, at least I don't think.

Google it and see just to ensure your health and safety.

When I came off the pot, I would sweat very badly every night for a couple of months, and it stank. No one told me about this as a possible side effect and being made to sleep on the couch was annoying.