Toxic gas torture- Friends and family edition...

Auzzie-Phoenix · #1 07-20-2010, 03:29 PM

What are your most memorable "victim can't escape" torture stories or uses of toxic fumes on: friend(s) and/or family? Bass humor has the farting on stage during a gig thread... I figured it was about time we had one of our own.

From the venerable dutch ovens to the friend trapped in car with power locks after burrito night... post them here.

C'mon... you've all done it don't try to play innocent!!!

Relic · #2 07-20-2010, 03:33 PM

meh...I've dutch-ovened the wife so many times it's not even amusing anymore. It's like my routine punishment for her

Thunderscreech · #3 07-20-2010, 03:40 PM

Crop-dusting for the win.

Auzzie-Phoenix · #4 07-20-2010, 04:20 PM

What? No story to go with it? C'mon.

Jimbob Jones · #5 07-20-2010, 05:45 PM

2 stories

Had my guitard/best friend over, and he did one so vile that we both had to leave the room for the rest of the night. It genuinely was that bad: after two hours it wasn't like 'heh, don't go in that room, it smells of fart!' you actually still couldnt go in there for the smell.

Also, had my drummer and guitard over the once (on a seperate occasion from above), and we were all standing around in the kitchen. My drummer was standing in the sitting room doorway, in which the light was off. Thinking it was just us 3, he let fly with a truly spectacular (in sound and in smell) passing of gas, only to realise my mum was in the sitting room, and he had pretty much just farted in her face. Fun days.

Phalex · #6 07-20-2010, 05:48 PM

The first time I gave my wife the dutch oven it was hilarious! The second time I did it it was painful. Really really painful. Painful in ways that made me question the logic of trapping a desperate female within easy reach of my genitals. The same is true with badgers, but most men already know better than that.

Lesson learned.

bassteban · #7 07-20-2010, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phalex

The first time I gave my wife the dutch oven it was hilarious! The second time I did it it was painful. Really really painful. Painful in ways that made me question the logic of trapping a desperate female within easy reach of my genitals. The same is true with badgers, but most men already know better than that.

Lesson learned.

This really should be some sort of man law.

rollerberg2000 · #8 07-20-2010, 06:00 PM

I thought this thread was about those of us about to be killed because of our spending habits....

Bob Lee (QSC) · #9 07-20-2010, 06:08 PM

Neither friends nor family:

A few years ago I was changing planes at Heathrow, and that involved a going to a different terminal and going through security again.

It was midday on a hot and humid day, the lines to the scanners scanners were long and snaking back and forth. The air conditioning was either non-existent or just inadequate for the hundreds of tightly packed sweaty, fatigued people slowly inching between the cordons.

I was only about eight feet or so from the table and plastic trays. This crescendo of thick, sulfurous stink came up. It was like someone opened up a sewer pipe. Someone nearby had let go one of those "I can't believe that one's invisible" SBDs, and its intensity was compounded by the swamplike muggy heat. I don't know what direction it came from, but it didn't matter because no one could get away from it. The worst part was that because I was coated with sweat, I couldn't help fearing that the smell maybe was going to stick to me somehow because of that. Yeah, that would be fun on a 12-hour flight.

Thunderscreech · #10 07-20-2010, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Auzzie-Phoenix

What? No story to go with it? C'mon.

The incident in question, also know as the "Living Room Fiasco" occurred about five years ago in the living room of my ex girlfriend's house. I was irate because I was asking for something she would not give me, so I retaliated in the only fashion I knew that would not get me sent to court: a crop-dust.

It did not occur to me, at that time, that her mother would be present for the event, as well as herself. so there you go. note that I am partially lactose-intolerant, and had consumed a large quantity (they had a quart of Ben and Jerry's that had 1 (one) spoonful taken from it that had freezer burn. I offered to consume it so it would not go to waste) of ice cream.

You can imagine what happened after the crop dusting took place. the EPA and Geneva Convention are still investigating.

hartke20g · #11 07-20-2010, 07:11 PM

well, i didn't do this first one, but it was truly incredible.
i was in the back seat of a tiny nissan sentra, smushed between 3 of my friends and the rear passenger door. the driver has never had fully functioning cars (gets beaters from auctions) and the power windows didn't work, and the A/C wasn't designed to keep 7 people cool. we had just eaten dinner and were heading back to another friend's house and we were nearly there when it happened. the driver let one go that we all heard go on for over 5 seconds. we all just looked at him for a few seconds in awe. then the smell came. it was truly unbearable. i still don't know what it could be compared to, but i'll say that diving into a dump truck filled with garbage from a day-care center and restaurant would probably have been better. he was just about to park until he decided that it would be funnier if his passengers couldn't simply unlock the door and step out, so he kept driving. after about 10 seconds i decided i'd had enough and opened the rear door while we were still going 30mph just to be able to have fresh air.

my legacy has never really been with smell (as most have been outside) but more with power. back in high school, my friends and i would sit on 2 wooden benches joined by a block of concrete. with me sitting in between 3 friends on each side of my bench, and 5 friends on the adjoined bench, i decided to let 'em have it. for a good 3 seconds all of the people on the bench said they thought the nearby quarry was blasting rocks. i was pretty proud, and i was able to recreate it about 5 more times in the next 3 months.

Auzzie-Phoenix · #12 07-20-2010, 08:51 PM

For me, decimating with smell really doesn't happen that often. I used to load trailers out at the FedEx hub, and one night I just kept ripping 'em. You know those ones that feel like they got sent through a boiler...

So as I'm loading they send 2 other people in to observe, one was a trainer, the other was a trainee. They walked into the trailer, right in to my stenchblock. The comment coming from the trainer was "whoa.... this trailer is freaking RANCID!!!". I just kept working like normal, like it wasn't even there. The trainee obviously wanted to escape.