Useless Rant - Tax Return

c_joseph_lier · #1 03-12-2008, 02:13 PM

WARNING! - LONG RANT

okay, so last January, I got out of the military. I was unemployeed for 6 months, not for a lack of trying, and I had to sell everything. Every single musical item that I owned, just to keep food on the table, rent paid (kind of) and even still I had my truck repoed.

Then, in July, I got my current job in which I am able to pay all bills, feed mouths, and so on, but not really sock anything away.

Now comes the fun part. Our tax return that is coming in a week is over $5,000 ... my wife and I discussed the things that we were going to catch up on (pay off car and such) ... i just wanted to buy a $200 bass to fart around on in what little free time I already have ... And, instead of getting the "sure, honey, I know that you have been missing that" ... I got, "But we need to get this and this and this" ... now, understandablly, I know that we have some responsibilities here, but come on ... it was 5K that we didn't have last week, and that we will now get next week, so 200 bucks here ain't gonna kill us ...
Now, am I just getting selfish and pissy, or am I within 100 yards of having a valid point?

Wesley R · #2 03-12-2008, 02:23 PM

Without going into my story, you should get a couple a hun for bass. If I had a spare I would send it to you.

DaveDeVille · #3 03-12-2008, 02:31 PM

... does the wife work ?
is the tax return from money she earned ?

if not , it's your money dude ...

just spend it responsibly , it's not a sin to
splurge on yourself every now and then ...

jmo , no disrespect intended .

Atoz · #4 03-12-2008, 02:32 PM

Have you offered her $200 to buy something for herself?

NJL · #5 03-12-2008, 02:33 PM

just get a $99 jobber from Rondomusic.net..

c_joseph_lier · #6 03-12-2008, 02:37 PM

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ...
Married Filing Jointly ... so, both incomes ...
Spending it what we "need" and not on "wants" ...
Stuff for the kids, her, and me <I need work clothes and such>

iamlowsound · #7 03-12-2008, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by c_joseph_lier

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ...
Married Filing Jointly ... so, both incomes ...
Spending it what we "need" and not on "wants" ...
Stuff for the kids, her, and me <I need work clothes and such>

Tell her that you need a bass so you can play gigs on the weekend to supplement your income.

lowsound

c_joseph_lier · #8 03-12-2008, 02:46 PM

Yeah, don't get me started on the gig thing ...
then we wouldn't have THAT time together for practicing, because she would have to watch the kids ... and she can't take them into a bar ... I have gone in circles on this one ... all I wanted was to be able to play, and maybe write/record again ... not to sell CD's but to say, hey, I wrote that ... I look at you guys' basses and read your tales and think, one day I can rejoin the ranks ... it just ticks me off to no end, because I am so non-confrontational, and I hate fighting, which is what we are doing now, and this means no boom-boom tonight and no BOOMer for me to play ... CRAP!

jive1 · #9 03-12-2008, 02:53 PM

Spend the money on booze and hookers instead.

That'll teach her.

c_joseph_lier · #10 03-12-2008, 02:54 PM

Would that be BEFORE or AFTER I became the new Governer of New york?

jady · #11 03-12-2008, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jive1

Spend the money on booze and hookers instead.

That'll teach her.

Sound advice

username n/a · #12 03-12-2008, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by c_joseph_lier

Would that be BEFORE or AFTER I became the new Governer of New york?

oo0000hhh Zing

troy2003 · #13 03-12-2008, 04:14 PM

I have been in your position before,have sold guitars,guns,etc.It sucks.I think you deserve it,but if you get it w/o her ok,it will be a sore subject for years to come--it will get thrown in your face every time money is a little tight or something it will be "you bought xxx" ..Talk to her,tell her it is something you want very badly.Hopefully she will see the light.I wish I had an extra rig,I would send it to ya.

jazzbo · #14 03-12-2008, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by david meissner

... does the wife work ?
is the tax return from money she earned ?

if not , it's your money dude ...

just spend it responsibly , it's not a sin to
splurge on yourself every now and then ...

jmo , no disrespect intended .

Not if they're married. That's not how marriages work. What's his is hers. What's hers is his. You share things.

It's impossible for anybody here to say if it's acceptable. Communicate with your wife about your wants, and sincerely listen to her concerns. Here's a possible compromise. Is there something else that you send money on? Perhaps you eat out lunch everyday at work. Save that money, put it in a jar, and very soon you'll have your bass. Something like that. Skip Starbucks, and save that money, (sure it might take a couple of months, but its scary how much some people spend on coffee). Other things: do you have a poker night? Save that. Do you go out to films? Save that. Find some other expense. If it's a good one, like eating lunch out, (which REALLY adds up), save up for two months extra, and get the $500 bass. You earned it. Then, play one show a month. The wife comes, has a good time, you get a sort of "free" night out together. And maybe you make a little extra cash.

bassguppy · #15 03-12-2008, 04:30 PM

This is all my opinion and maybe I'm off base. BUT, she seems to have some sort of issue and resentment as playing the bass will take time away from her, it's something that you can't do together, you will want to be with the guys all the time playing, you will be looking at all the women as you play, groupies will be yearning for your nether regions, etc..., etc...

She feels that the bass is her competition for your attention. I cannot stand when significant others at first are all for you having things that make you, well YOU. After the death grip is applied you can only do wrong.

And no $200 for a bass when you get a $5,000 return is a pittance. I would push for $700-$800.

If you can't get the bass, I would say that you need to tell her that the family needs to figure a new family budget omitting things like makeup, special lotion, $60 beauty solon visits, etc. You don't need that extra expense and it's a luxury.

jazzbo · #16 03-12-2008, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bassguppy

This is all my opinion and maybe I'm off base. BUT, she seems to have some sort of issue and resentment as playing the bass will take time away from her, it's something that you can't do together, you will want to be with the guys all the time playing, you will be looking at all the women as you play, groupies will be yearning for your nether regions, etc..., etc...

She feels that the bass is her competition for your attention. I cannot stand when significant others at first are all for you having things that make you, well YOU. After the death grip is applied you can only do wrong.

And no $200 for a bass when you get a $5,000 return is a pittance. I would push for $700-$800.

If you can't get the bass, I would say that you need to tell her that the family needs to figure a new family budget omitting things like makeup, special lotion, $60 beauty solon visits, etc. You don't need that extra expense and it's a luxury.

I didn't get that from his post. Honestly, I think you're projecting your own experience here.

bassguppy · #17 03-12-2008, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jazzbo

I didn't get that from his post. Honestly, I think you're projecting your own experience here.

Correct.

I had a 3 1/2 year relationship (not married) in my early 20's where there was an issue with me playing that was not brought forward in the beginninigs of that relationship. My situation was similar to the OP in that financial difficulties forced me to sell off quite a bit of gear. When the financial reality at the time passed I started to acquire new gear (which I was able to afford) it wanted to get back into playing and join a band again but the mood changed.
It was near to the point when I went to band practice (once a week for 3 hours) things got very cold in the house.

Again, I did not change, the things around me did.

Currently I couldn't be happier, my wife of 13+ years comes to gigs, is friends with my band mates and their wives (and husband). We each have an understanding that alone time and hobbies/other activities are what make people happy and whole and in no way reflect wanting to be away from eachother.

tplyons · #18 03-12-2008, 07:18 PM

Have you considered something cheaper? SX from Rondo and a 15W amp?

Unless you're making money playing bass, not much more would make sense.

peterbright · #19 03-12-2008, 07:22 PM

My opininion is that if your gear sales kept the family going, you should be able to replace at least part of it.

Tim Cole · #20 03-12-2008, 07:31 PM

My opinion is, I am tired of hearing people getting 5k back for their tax returns. Mostly people who chose to have a lot of kids. Not that there is anything wrong with having kids, but it was their choice to do so.

My wife and I work hard, and chose not to have kids. For this choice, I will likely be facing a 5 figure tax bill on last year. One of my friends is boasting a 14k return, and really didn't do much. Another paid none in, and gets 3-4k back. Yeah, I am pissed.

Consumption tax anyone?