What do you call a deceased spouse

shadowtippy · #1 02-16-2010, 05:40 PM

What do you call a deceased spouse other that "It doesn't matter, because she isn't going to answer."
The woman I was married to has been dead for 2 years (no sympathies, please). How should I refer to her when the need arises? "Ex" or "former" doesn't seem right because that sounds like I am divorced. Calling her "my wife" sounds like I am married. Adding "deceased" sounds like I want sympathy. She was a part of my life for 16 years, so there are times she is mentioned even though it bothers my gf (sorry, dear) and I was wondering what the great (and otherwise) minds of TB think as a solution. Thanks.

CBgaragebassist · #2 02-16-2010, 05:44 PM

Your 'Late wife'? Or do you think that's asking for sympathy like 'deceased'?

lunarpollen · #3 02-16-2010, 05:45 PM

Your "late wife"?

lunarpollen · #4 02-16-2010, 05:45 PM

Hah, missed it by that much!

RWP · #5 02-16-2010, 05:47 PM

Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode where George was picking up chicks left and right by saying he was a widower? Sorry for your loss, I hope you are okay.

shadowtippy · #6 02-16-2010, 05:51 PM

"Late" sounds like she will be here soon, although she was often late for things.

WalterBush · #7 02-16-2010, 05:53 PM

I believe the appropriate phrase is, "the late Mrs. Shadowtippy" or "my late wife." Mentioning her by name and adding "may she rest in peace" or "God rest her soul" gets the message across, too.

There's no way to say it without others around you feeling a bit awkward, as near as I can tell.

EricF · #8 02-16-2010, 05:57 PM

"My late wife" is probably as appropriate as you'll get.

Justlearning · #9 02-16-2010, 06:03 PM

I'm going to go with WalterBush on this one...refer to her as "my late wife" or "my deceased wife"...may she rest in peace, then when people say sorry for your loss, just thank them. Unless of course, you and I are talking, then just refer to her by her name...I do understand (LOML, MOMD).

Chunk-O-Funk · #10 02-16-2010, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WalterBush

I believe the appropriate phrase is, "the late Mrs. Shadowtippy" or "my late wife." Mentioning her by name and adding "may she rest in peace" or "God rest her soul" gets the message across, too.

There's no way to say it without others around you feeling a bit awkward, as near as I can tell.

+1

I suppose if it were me I would refer to her as my ex.

If or when a "what happened" question came up from the people who don't know me, I could always explain that she passed away. At least this way you can avoid an awkward situation once in a while.

I don't think it would bother me much if a stranger knew or not, and I would like to think friends and family would support me.

I would use the "my late wife" response when appropriate as well.

**pacojas** · #11 02-16-2010, 06:25 PM

"dearly departed"

mike_v_s · #12 02-16-2010, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EricF

"My late wife" is probably as appropriate as you'll get.

Agreed.

Mike

odie · #13 02-16-2010, 07:51 PM

I think "late wife" is appropriate and you will have to say that less and less as time goes on. If you want to avoid an awkward conversation you can say "former wife"

Hollow Man · #14 02-16-2010, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by odie

I think "late wife" is appropriate and you will have to say that less and less as time goes on. If you want to avoid an awkward conversation you can say "former wife"

+1 to all of this.

warnergt · #15 02-17-2010, 09:42 AM

Every time you reference her, follow it with "God rest her soul."

For example:
"My wife, God rest her soul, was part of my life for 16 years."

Everybody will immediately know what you're talking about. And, like
George on Seinfeld, you'll be picking up chicks left and right.

bongomania · #16 02-17-2010, 09:46 AM

If you want to add a sense of intrigue and danger to the conversation, you can refer to "my wife, who I buried last year" or "my late wife said this, before I buried her" or "my wife used to do that... she's dead now."

Please forgive the tasteless humor.

standupright · #17 02-17-2010, 09:47 AM

late wife or ex wife

whitedk57 · #18 02-17-2010, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowtippy

"Late" sounds like she will be here soon, although she was often late for things.

Other people know what it means...

bassteban · #19 02-17-2010, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bongomania

If you want to add a sense of intrigue and danger to the conversation, you can refer to "my wife, who I buried last year" or "my late wife said this, before I buried her" or "my wife used to do that... she's dead now."

Please forgive the tasteless humor.

Hey, he did say *no sympathies*

On that note/on topic, I'd say *late*
I don't see how you can totally avoid some awkwardness, at least when dealing w/whatever-currently-passes-for *normal* humans