What Keeps a Relationship Good

[Sir Edward V]

well, I am having my first experience in a long-term relationship (I'm loving it, btw) going on 9 months, and I think I decided today that what keeps us going when we are having problems is how much/well we communicate with one another. We both come out and say when we are upset and fully explain ourselves, and the other is always understanding about it and willing to do what it takes to make the other feel better. I think when long-term relationships go to **** it is because people don't do what I just said...

What do you guys think? Sound about right? Am I crazy? other opinions?

[i_got_a_mohawk]

Each relationship will be different.

Just don't let it get one sided.

Thats why I left my gf earlier this year (was my first proper long term relationship, just over two years).

It got to the stage where emotionally I was getting nothing from her, often just getting blanked etc. It was quite draining.

If things start going sour, remember that you don't need to stay with someone because you have already been with them for a long time.

[Mon Rominee]

trust and acceptance.

[palm grease]

WHAT MAKES A RELATIOSHIP LAST?

communicate and dont get married! never fight about money! give it to her on a regular basis! *buy her diamonds!



*some say they dont want em....... but trust me, they do!....on the flip side, imagine saying "naw baby i dont need another bass".

[Jonyak]

relationships go in cycles that can sometimes last years.

I have been with my girlfriend for 9 years. some years were off. and then we fell back in love like kids again.

its weird.

but I think for a relationship to last you have to realise its not always gonna be good. there will be times when you want to break it off. and then there will be times when you feel like you just met them.

[kesslari]

but I think for a relationship to last you have to realise its not always gonna be good. there will be times when you want to break it off. and then there will be times when you feel like you just met them.

Communication, trust and honesty are a key, no doubt.

And sometimes, simply the willingness to gut it out, stick around and work through the hard parts is what does it. That's why it's called "commitment"...

Married 16 years...

[Sir Edward V]

Originally Posted by i_got_a_mohawk

Each relationship will be different.

Just don't let it get one sided.

Thats why I left my gf earlier this year (was my first proper long term relationship, just over two years).

It got to the stage where emotionally I was getting nothing from her, often just getting blanked etc. It was quite draining.

If things start going sour, remember that you don't need to stay with someone because you have already been with them for a long time.

one question: did you try to salvage it, or did you just 'give up' and break it off?

just curious, you also don't have to discus it if you don't want

one of my best friends was in a relationship in HS for 3 years, one of them he was in college and the GF was in HS, then she got to college and decided she liked girls, and cheated on him with a girl...

and ugly girl...

his ex was a cute girl too, she could get much more attractive girls... but no, she settles for the butchies

but anyways... that relationship went bad cause of the ol' turning her gay, we still give him **** about this heh

[TallLankyBastyd]

Money...

...LOTS AND LOTS of money.

[Gard]

Always find a way to laugh together. Clown around, goof off, poke fun at each other (good naturedly), just always be in a good mood whenever possible, smiling and laughing.

Add this to being able to discuss ANYTHING with each other in an open and honest way, and you have the foundations of a great relationship.

That and lots of well...y'know....seriously....makes things bind together emotionally!

[i_got_a_mohawk]

Originally Posted by Sir Edward V

one question: did you try to salvage it, or did you just 'give up' and break it off?

just curious, you also don't have to discus it if you don't want

We did try to salvage it, I must admit it was a break in anger at the time.

We went on a break because things had been really up and down (we would either get on amazingly well or not at all).

But during the break she kept phoning and texting me claiming i was screwing around behind her back (i wasnt, i didnt even leave the house, i was up to my neck in uni work and wasting time on TB). At that i told her it would be best to break it off.

We are still good friends tho, unfortunatly she has really fallen for me again, i feel bad about not feeling the same for her, but it happens.


You just need to know when it is time to call it off if that happens. A friend of mine made the mistake of not doing that. Was going out with a girl and it was going downhill badly after the first year, it took another 4 years worth of a nightmarish relationship before they broke up.

Originally Posted by Gard

Always find a way to laugh together. Clown around, goof off, poke fun at each other (good naturedly), just always be in a good mood whenever possible, smiling and laughing.

Add this to being able to discuss ANYTHING with each other in an open and honest way, and you have the foundations of a great relationship.

That and lots of well...y'know....seriously....makes things bind together emotionally!

+1 to everything

[sarcastro83]

I think what keeps a relationship working is refraining from giving it any analysis whenever possible. Take it day to day, dude. You're better off not even thinking about the how's and why's, just accepting the "is". I only tell you this because I'm bitter, so take that advice with a grain of salt.

[fenderhutz]

9 months, long term, nope.

Let us know in another year how things are going. It's hard to really get to know someone in 9 months. The REAL stinky morning breath, I've had a crappy day so I am going to take it out you fits, stop drinking beer and hanging out with your friends, someone.

I bet you don't even pass flatulence in each others presence yet

[MakiSupaStar]

Humor, communication and role playing. My wife might think it's funny that I want to dress her in a sexy little japanese school girl outfit, but I communicate with her that this is all part of the role play and big bad businessman is not going to give her money for new purse if she doesn't do as she told.

[JNowiski]

i would say alcohol, but that's basically my answer for everything.

[Baryonyx]

Being the man. Women love that.

[peterbright]

Diamonds, flowers, candy, compassion, passion, money, cars, boats, planes, thoughtfulness, empathy

[Sir Edward V]

Originally Posted by fenderhutz

9 months, long term, nope.

Let us know in another year how things are going. It's hard to really get to know someone in 9 months. The REAL stinky morning breath, I've had a crappy day so I am going to take it out you fits, stop drinking beer and hanging out with your friends, someone.

I bet you don't even pass flatulence in each others presence yet

I have no idea what you said in that second paragraph, and yes, we fart around each other. I farted in her face once while she was um... yeah... doing 'something'... heh

but I fart around her... no biggie...

I think we are really close for 9 months. I think I will marry her eventually. Probably after college

[i_got_a_mohawk]

Originally Posted by Sir Edward V

I have no idea what you said in that second paragraph, and yes, we fart around each other. I farted in her face once while she was um... yeah... doing 'something'... heh

but I fart around her... no biggie...

I did that once . . . she slapped the package . . . she thought it was funny at least.

Originally Posted by Sir Edward V

I think we are really close for 9 months. I think I will marry her eventually. Probably after college

Do not say that to her, whatever you do. One of two things will happen. She will either freak out and leave you or she'll get the marrage thing in her head big time (either way, she'll go nuts).

One of my friends made that mistake, and was just talking in casual conversation, she dragged him into shops to look at wedding dresses every week

[dave64o]

1) Communicate effectively and be honest with each other. I can't stress the "effectively" part enough (long and painful story)

2) Treat each other like equal partners. Do not treat each other like an obstacle to be cleared in order to get what you want and do not give in just to make peace if the other is treating you like that (same long and painful story).

I learned a lot of hard lessons by trying to stay married to a control freak and I think those two guidelines sum up my experiences.

[buzzbass]

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