What would you do...

turbo chicken · #1 09-17-2011, 01:18 PM

Today I went to the grocery store with my family. On the way in I was faced with a man asking if we could spare some food for him and his family (wife and kid). He explained he had lost his job and was homeless living out of their car. He also asked if a knew anyone that as hiring and that he was willing to do any kind of labor. He also offered up that he made some bad decisions in the past and his criminal history had made it difficult to land a job for what he applied for already.

I'll reiterate... this guy only asked for food ... no mention of money was made.

So in a split second I made my decision ... this is all of the info I had to go off of at the time i made my decision.

I was just curious what you guys would have done given the info above.

Basically Help the Guy ... or ... Send him on his way??

Later on I may share what my decision was ...

Tituscrow · #2 09-17-2011, 01:32 PM

Hmmm. Tough call to make in a split second. It has 'scam' written all over it.

Unconditional giving and genuine altruism are both very rare yet very rewarding. Getting stiffed is quite the opposite.

I have to say, in the uk, we usually just get the 'spare a bit of change, guv?' line and I always throw my change into whatever collecting pot is presented to me. I always think that even if I am being conned, what's a few quid to me? I'll take that chance that it's genuine. How bad must someone's life be if they've resorted to begging from strangers. Hardliners will say 'dont give em anything, it only encourages them' or 'they should get a proper job like I had to'. I'm not that hard...flaw or virtue, that's open to debate.

However, I've never been confronted with a life history so I don't know how I'd have reacted. Probably give him some change, avoid a conversation, wish him good luck and move on.

Do I pass the 'good guy' test?

bassteban · #3 09-17-2011, 01:36 PM

I may be evil, but knowing how many of these guys rake in a TON of money & wisely do not bother getting a *real job* makes it hard for me to decide that *this guy* is legit. I usually drive by & take comfort in the fact that many will be taken in by the scammers & give dude some dope/cigarette/liquor money. The couple per dozen that are sincere likely bring home enough to survive another night in a van down by the river.

Longhair · #4 09-17-2011, 01:39 PM

There was this lady that stood at the bottom of an off-ramp near a high end shopping mall rain or shine. She looked like she had not showered for days - at least her face, hands and clothes - and carried a sign that she was a mom that needed money for food & diapers.

She was picked up every day by the same person driving the same vehicle - construction worker by the looks of the truck.

This was in the late 90's before any recession or economic collapse.

VitalSigns · #5 09-17-2011, 01:40 PM

He'll be fine, McDonalds and Walmart are always hiring.

turbo chicken · #6 09-17-2011, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tituscrow

Do I pass the 'good guy' test?

Eh it's not a test and I'm not judging... everyone is free to make a decision here without explanation for motive either way.

Just Keep in mind... he asked for Food only.

Scott1 · #7 09-17-2011, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turbo chicken

Eh it's not a test and I'm not judging... everyone is free to make a decision here without explanation for motive either way.

Just Keep in mind... he asked for Food only.

I would mentally ask the Lord to guide me and then I would look deeply into his eyes and listen for my answer. If the feeling I get is he is being genuine, I would buy him a few food items in the store and bring them out to him as I left. I rarely give money.

Tituscrow · #8 09-17-2011, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turbo chicken

Eh it's not a test and I'm not judging... everyone is free to make a decision here without explanation for motive either way.

Just Keep in mind... he asked for Food only.

Just making light of an unfortunate situation. I was kidding. It's good for morale.

But isn't asking for food an indirect request for hard cash?

Scott1 · #9 09-17-2011, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tituscrow

Just making light of an unfortunate situation. I was kidding. It's good for morale.

But isn't asking for food an indirect request for hard cash?

Not necessarily.

turbo chicken · #10 09-17-2011, 02:11 PM

Eh enough responses for me...

I made the decision to get him some items. Usually an offer for food is refused and they they get to the cash question. As Tituscrow pointed out This guy didn't. I have a strict no cash rule myself.

So I told him to grab a basket and please keep it under a certain amount as I didn't have much to give my self. What sealed it for me is when he showed up with very few canned goods and beans and rice. He offered to put some of it back if it was too much. I couldn't help myself at that point... i added a few other things I thought were essentials. He asked for my phone number and promised to pay me back when he gets back on his feet... no he insisted that i give him my phone number... i saw tears in his eyes as we shook hands and parted ways last thing he said as we shook hands was "most people just don't give a S@*& ... my family thanks you"

I've helped others out in the past similar to this... but this one really struck a nerve with me... and it's the only time without a doubt i didn't walk away wondering... "was i hustled?"

I'm not looking for any "atta boys" ... I was genuinely curious as to what others would have done. And wanted to share this story.

I do hope he calls me back one day... although I'm not expecting it.

Tituscrow · #11 09-17-2011, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scott1

Not necessarily.

I meant in the sense that if it was a scam, then the person being scammed - in this case, me - would be unlikely to have any food on them and therefore just hand over some money?

Mind you, this happened at a grocery store, so maybe it was genuine? Or a double bluff to make it seem genuine...

Tituscrow · #12 09-17-2011, 02:17 PM

Having read turbos last thread, then yes, this sounds genuine, and it was a noble thing you did.

Maybe we are just too damn cynical these days and always expect the worst and tread cautiously.

AnchorHoy · #13 09-17-2011, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by turbo chicken

this guy only asked for food ... no mention of money was made

That would've decided it for me, right then and there

I would've given him some

The grifters are only interested in cash and IME will flat-out refuse actual food even if it's offered to them on the spot. People who are really hungry and/or hurting take the food every time

turbo chicken · #14 09-17-2011, 02:22 PM

When someone usually ask me ... for help... i always offer food ... almost always it's refused ...

I can count on one hand how many times the food was actually taken by the other party.

And who doesn't think of peanutbutter and jelly and kool-aid is essential...or is it just me. another thing I was wondering... It's always on the list when cash is short... heck... it's always on the list regardless of my financial situation

champbassist · #15 09-17-2011, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tituscrow

Maybe we are just too damn cynical these days and always expect the worst and tread cautiously.

Agreed. I wonder what's worse: the feeling that you probably got scammed, or the feeling that you didn't help out someone in need

Tituscrow · #16 09-17-2011, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by champbassist

Agreed. I wonder what's worse: the feeling that you probably got scammed, or the feeling that you didn't help out someone in need

Oh, the latter every time I'd wager.

turbo chicken · #17 09-17-2011, 02:39 PM

i always go into it figuring I'm being scammed ...

basstotheface · #18 09-17-2011, 02:43 PM

I guess I'm a sucker. I don't need money or food that bad so whenever someone asks I usually give.

If I'm out running and see someone I'll give them my water or whatever I'm drinking. If I'm downtown going somewhere and someone asks I'll give them a 5 or something. I just don't think about it or try and figure out what they are getting.

Papa Dangerous · #19 09-17-2011, 02:46 PM

Interesting situation. Usually, depending on my location and mood, people ask me for spare change. Sometimes I give it to them, sometimes I do not. Rarely do I get a person asking for food. I normally would prefer to buy someone food then give money, but food comes to more money than spare change.

Who am I to deny someone the basic right to eat? That is like denying someone the use of a bathroom. Depending on my financial situation, my mood, and my time, I can see my self ordering a pizza, paying for it, and leaving that person to go pick it up. I know I will feel better about myself if I do this.

However, in certain situations I tell people to piss off. One time I told this degenerate to stop mooching off of people in my neighborhood. He ALWAYS sat between a bank and a dunkin donuts just to money from people. It is annoying when you are about 300 pounds asking for money cause you are poor, and have been seen in that spot for over a year with the same crutches. Another time this one dude fed me the same story on THREE different occasions looking for gas money. One of the times we talked for a minute and he admitted to be a junkie. I gave him attitude and not money.

jive1 · #20 09-17-2011, 02:55 PM

Last Lent, I decided that whenever someone would be asking for change, food, whatever, I'd pray for them. I would ask them what their name was and if there was anything I could pray for them for. Then, I'd stand there, lay hands on them and and pray for them. I have never had anyone turn me down, and often got thanks for them.

Funniest was when I did a video shoot with a band, and I was dressed in a bedrobe, pajamas and crown and I went to the convenience store and got asked for change. I did my usual prayer, in my pajamas and robe with the homeless guy. Passersby probably couldn't tell who the homeless, crazy guy was.