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12-05-2007, 12:45 PM
| | Notes we play > Gear we play them on | | Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Wisconsin | | | Why do ducks have webbed feet?
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To stomp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have big flat feet?
To stomp out burning ducks. |
12-05-2007, 12:47 PM
|  | Moderator
Endorsing Artist: Levy's Leathers Moderator | | Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Toronto/Niagara Falls, Ontario | | | /internet |
12-05-2007, 12:54 PM
|  | The Lowdown Diggler | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Huntington Beach, CA | | | Not worth the energy your fingers expended to type those words. |
12-05-2007, 12:54 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Lakeland, FL | | How do you get down off an elephant??
You don't, you get down off a goose  |
12-05-2007, 12:55 PM
| | Notes we play > Gear we play them on | | Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Wisconsin | | Quote:
Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar  Not worth the energy your fingers expended to type those words. | Compared to most of what I've seen in OT lately, this reads like ****ing Hemingway. |
12-05-2007, 01:00 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Lakeland, FL | | | A duck walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers... like a telephone... on his wing and talking into it.
The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn't need any trouble here. The duck says, "You don't understand. I'm very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my wing because I was tired of carrying the cellular." The bartender says "Prove it." The duck dials up a number and places his wing near the bartender. The bartender talks into the wing and carries on a conversation. "That's incredible", says the bartender... "I would never have believed it!" "Yeah", said the duck, "I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, my girlfriend, you name it. By the way, where is the men's room?" The bartender directs him to the men's room.
The duck goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn't return. Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men's room. There is the duck spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his arse.
"Oh my god!" said the bartender. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?" The duck turns and says: "No, I'm ok. I'm just waiting for a fax." |
12-05-2007, 01:11 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Detroit | | | Now THAT was a curveball of a joke! |
12-05-2007, 01:24 PM
| | The Lowdown Diggler | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Huntington Beach, CA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDuck Compared to most of what I've seen in OT lately, this reads like ****ing Hemingway. | Point well taken.  |
12-05-2007, 01:27 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Modesto, CA | | Quote:
Originally Posted by SuperDuck Why do Ducks have webbed feet? | I always though it was the inbreeding........
__________________
Gallien-Krueger Club #695
myspace.com/johnadybassist
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12-06-2007, 04:52 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Sinny, Oztraya | | Quote:
Originally Posted by jady I always though it was the inbreeding........ | Tasmanian ducks.
__________________
No matter how far a jackass travels, it won't come back a horse. |
12-06-2007, 04:54 PM
|  | OVNIFX
EXAR pedals rep for North & Central America | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: PDX, OR | | | Giraffe walks into a bar and says "the highballs are on me!" |
12-06-2007, 05:14 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Sinny, Oztraya | | | A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says, "Why the long face?".
__________________
No matter how far a jackass travels, it won't come back a horse. |
12-06-2007, 05:21 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Lakeland, FL | | A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. "What do you call that?", asks the bartender. "I call him Tiny, because he's my newt!  |
12-06-2007, 05:29 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan | | Ok. I made up a joke last night and I'm going to run it by you guys.
"I've heard that you've had sexual relations with bedroom furniture."
"It was just a one night stand."
Get it!? NIGHT STAND! ahahaha.
Hilarious.  |
12-06-2007, 05:52 PM
|  | A Hard Rockin Lover of GREENBURST Moderator | | Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Where I lay my head is home | | | Have your feet turned webbed Michael ?
__________________ If its not green, its not for me!!! |
12-06-2007, 06:00 PM
| | Banned | | Join Date: May 2005 Location: Inland Empire | | | A guy walks into a bar and asks for two martinis extra dry. Bartender pours him the drinks and the guy downs them one after the other and asks for two more. Bartender gives him a funny look, shrugs and pours him two more. Once again guy downs the martinis one after the other and asks for two more. The amazed bartender finally asks, "What's the occasion son?". Guy replies, "I just had my first BJ". Bartender says "Well congratulations. That's a very memorable occasion but you can celebrate it in better ways than downing martinis".
"Oh I know that, but if these don't get the taste out of my mouth then nothing will". |
12-06-2007, 06:32 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Lakeland, FL | | | A man goes into a bar with a giraffe, they both get a couple of rounds in. When they get up to leave they're extremely drunk and the giraffe passes out and falls over. The man opens the door, about to leave by himself, when the bartender stops him suddenly and says, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there!" The man turns around and slurs, "Don't be silly, that's not a lion, that's a giraffe!" |
12-06-2007, 10:57 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Pasadena, CA | | | A preacher walks into a bar and the bartender says, "what is this? a joke?" |
12-06-2007, 10:58 PM
| | OVNIFX
EXAR pedals rep for North & Central America | | Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: PDX, OR | | | Termite walks into a bar and says "Excuse me, where is the bar tender?" |
12-06-2007, 11:11 PM
| | Registered User | | Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: montreal, qc, Canada | | | A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop. | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | 
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