Why do so many people not take advice?

Rocker949 · #1 08-19-2010, 08:48 AM

I'm inspired by Relic's recent topic asking why people are so determined to look like they're right. I found a lot of the responses to that very interesting. But my question is why do people ask for advice when it is clear they've already made up their minds on what they're going to do? I have an idea why this is so, but I'll just be silent on that for now.

Yerf Dog · #2 08-19-2010, 08:51 AM

They don't want advice. They want someone to agree with them.

stratovani · #3 08-19-2010, 08:53 AM

Can't speak for anyone else, but in my case it's just in case I've missed something. For example, say I've run into a '75 J-Bass for a ridiculously low price. I've played it and I've made up my mind to buy it. And yet... think I'll go on TB and see what people think, just in case. For me it's just a last-second information-gathering thing.

Jonyak · #4 08-19-2010, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yerf Dog

They don't want advice. They want someone to agree with them.

this.

CrispyDelicious · #5 08-19-2010, 09:05 AM

In my case it's usually because the solution to the problem is as unpleasant as the problem itself. It takes a lot to change your mind/your ways/your attitude. A LOT. My biggest fault is that I am stubborn as hell even when I know it's hurting me.

Rocker949 · #6 08-19-2010, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yerf Dog

They don't want advice. They want someone to agree with them.

This is what I keep seeing more and more.

MakiSupaStar · #7 08-19-2010, 10:03 AM

Because they're 'in love', she's my bestest friend, it's not fair that people judge me in an interview, and it's my body so I can do what I want with it.

PSPookie · #8 08-19-2010, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MakiSupaStar

Because they're 'in love', she's my bestest friend, it's not fair that people judge me in an interview, and it's my body so I can do what I want with it.

Wait . . . people will judge you in an interview

This is indeed a messed up world we live in.

MatticusMania · #9 08-19-2010, 11:06 AM

Not me, Ive rendered myself judgeless.

spade2you · #10 08-19-2010, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonyak

this.

too true.

The right thing is typically not easy and much less fun. That's life.

groooooove · #11 08-19-2010, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yerf Dog

They don't want advice. They want someone to agree with them.

to a large extent, yeah.

EBodious · #12 08-19-2010, 12:07 PM

also, change is hard. some part of us may know that the advice sought is needed, but the initial reaction is still to fight the change. i am a big fan of a bumper sticker i have seen, "change is inevitable, but growth is optional." i like to believe that people do eventually warm up to advice; they just may not take it in gracefully.

from the other perspective: how you give advice makes a difference too. it is hard to massage a brain into a state of willingness to hear something it may not like. actually, its a skilled profession (diplomats, shrinks, bartenders, etc). i am not a fan of unsolicited advice. and while not taking advice offered when you ask seems lame, we are irrational creatures. i find giving advice in a way that facilitates acceptance to be almost to difficult to try sometimes. so it goes.

jonathan_matos5 · #13 08-19-2010, 12:29 PM

because people give bad advice.

at least i do.

i like to tell people the hyperbole of what they shouldn't do as my advice.

they either realize how easy of a decision it really is or they end up way worse off by following the advice.

it really is amusing when the almost don't catch the joke.

codeinedreams · #14 08-19-2010, 03:01 PM

asking for advice is just a ruse for announcing to people what they're doing

T-Bird · #15 08-19-2010, 10:55 PM

Hi.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yerf Dog

They don't want advice. They want someone to agree with them.

^Yet another vote for this.

Seeking symphaty (and hoping to get some) for their actions seems to be a strong motivator for quite a lot of people.

Usually they're the same kind of folks who are really quick to claim that they won't have skills to do something, without even trying.

I don't know if its the constant pressure to perform and succeed in the society that's driven people into such thinking, but I for one see it as a sad path.

OTOH, and it's a big OTOH. Some folks think their way of thinking is the correct way, and every other line of thought is flawed. They also are quick to give advice to a problem which involves a totally different social- or cultural structure from theirs and fail to take that difference into account.
Also, some people ask solutions to problems they won't give enough information about. When several milking attempts later, the true problem surfaces, the reasons for reluctance to take the advice are usually also found.

That said, IMHO Yerf Dog nailed the most common reason.

Regards
Sam

**Staccato** · #16 08-20-2010, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yerf Dog

They don't want advice. They want someone to agree with them.

^ Agreed!

cassanova · #17 08-20-2010, 04:47 AM

I have a little thing I tell people when they ask me for their opinion or advice because I agree that people don't want the truth/advice, they want someone to agree with them and tell them what they want to hear. I tell them, "do you want me to tell you the truth and give honest advice or what you want to hear, because if it's the latter of the 2, you're S.O.L."

It's also worth noting (and it's funny how many people tend to forget this) just because you provide advice, doesn't mean they have to take it either.