Wife Got Laid Off Today

jaywa · #1 02-04-2011, 04:20 PM

Out of left field. Her company had been having some slow times but we didn't see this coming.

She didn't love her job but she didn't hate it either, and we're not in a financial position to be a 1-income household for very long (of course my gigging calendar is dryer than anytime the last 3 years right now, too... great timing

)

Anyway, would welcome insights from any TBers who have had this happen to their spouse... not even so much how to make it work financially but how to support them, how much and when to help/encourage them in their job search, etc.

Thanks in advance.

Mike N · #2 02-04-2011, 04:23 PM

Sorry to hear that. I'd think in the meantime she'd be able to collect some sort of unemployment until she finds another job.

warwick.hoy · #3 02-04-2011, 04:26 PM

Don't hesitate to file for unemployment,...those guys are getting slower and slower at getting back to you.

macaroni tony · #4 02-04-2011, 04:28 PM

I'll chip in my .02, even though in my situation, it was me who got laid off.

Be encouraging and optimistic for any good news that you hear. Treat her the same as you did before she got laid off. Don't give off the slightest hint that you're taking it out on her, as if it is somehow her fault that she got laid off. Trust me on that one

That's about as much as I got...

MJ5150 · #5 02-04-2011, 04:29 PM

Weigh her down with a ton of work to do around the house so she stays busy. I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Lay out the financial situation, if she doesn't already realize it, then get a plan of attack. Ask how you can help out as well so it isn't all about you telling her she has to get a job right away.

Also, have her file unemployment ASAP. Some people are embarrassed to file, but it is a provision there for people like her. I don't know how it is in your state, but in Washington they are way backed up. People getting their checks late is a normal occurrence now.

-Mike

Indiana Mike · #6 02-04-2011, 04:29 PM

unemployment is a must

I would encourage her to look right away as you can be more selective and as time goes on you then can lower your standards ...

If you have children do NOT be ashamed to accept any kind of state assistance you may qualify for . It's your tax dollars that fund these programs and that's what they are there for .

Good luck!

Hawaii Islander · #7 02-04-2011, 04:32 PM

If the company didn't go under, then unemployment insurance might be enough to keep things going until they are in a position to rehire her. Good luck to you and your family. I hope things turn around soon.

MatticusMania · #8 02-04-2011, 04:37 PM

I first read the title as 'my wife got laid today' which would have been a good thing.

Just support her best you can. Do the unemployment thing. And encourage, dont pressure, her to begin the job hunt asap.

warwick.hoy · #9 02-04-2011, 04:40 PM

Try to trim as much fat as you can,...Axe the luxuries,...call Comcast and try to get on a promotion that lowers your bill,...cut back on entertainment,...or at least high cost entertainment, make meals at home,...budget budget budget.

thump_dumpster · #10 02-04-2011, 04:42 PM

i.. ummm... chuckled 3 words into the headline...

MJ5150 · #11 02-04-2011, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by warwick.hoy

Try to trim as much fat as you can,...Axe the luxuries,...call Comcast and try to get on a promotion that lowers your bill,...cut back on entertainment,...or at least high cost entertainment, make meals at home,...budget budget budget.

No way! Open up a few high interest credit cards and keep living the high life. You can file bankruptcy later and let someone else pay them off for you.

-Mike

warwick.hoy · #12 02-04-2011, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJ5150

No way! Open up a few high interest credit cards and keep living the high life. You can file bankruptcy later and let someone else pay them off for you.

-Mike

Economy crippling Debt FTW!!!

i_got_a_mohawk · #13 02-04-2011, 05:24 PM

As others have said, file for unemployment as quickly as possible.

I don't know what your standard financial situation is like, but start looking for any job you can (heck, even if it's flipping burgers, so to speak). Some income is better than none, and i've always found it easier (or possibly just less stressful) to find work when you already have a job.

jaywa · #14 02-05-2011, 08:09 AM

Thanks for the ideas and well wishes, everyone. We had a great night together last night just talking it out over beers and we're gonna just go ahead and have a normal weekend (on a budget of course), and then tackle things hard next week. She's getting severance and should be a lock for unemployment plus I carry all our family'svbenefits with my job so we're still ok there. I already have a couple leads for her from my workplace and shes got a connection at a temp agency too.

shadowmac · #15 02-05-2011, 08:38 AM

There was a time (6-7 years ago) when my wife who had worked for the same company for over 10 years was asked to take a voluntary layoff for a few months because business was slow - they never brought her back. She did not "love" that job but we had 1 child and we had been a two income family. That went down to one income with me working a lot of extra hours. I got my wife into school full-time to maximize her potential during her unemployment and get into a field that she might actually "love". To add real love and a lot more work to the equation, my twins were born during that stretch as well - which added a semester to my wifes unemployment time which ended up being 2.5 years with no unemployment benefits after the first year. The best advice I got (and the hardest advice to follow) was "Don't argue about money".

13 years ago, I was let go from a job that I had worked very hard to get and a job that I worked extremely hard at - I felt like a failure. There are self esteem issues that surface when a person is let go - humilation and a feeling of somehow being less than you are; do not accidently scratch that wound by reminding her that times are tougher because she is unemployed...it'll will be harder than you think not to do that, especially at bill time.

Tensions will rise as financial anxiety rises, but don't argue about money...or the lack of it. Things WILL get better and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason - as unwelcome as it is, perhaps this is the "kick" she needed to find a job that actually does love going to.

I am the poster child for this. I am now working in the same field, with a much better department and I've been promoted a couple of times over the last 10 years. As hard as being let go was, it has all worked out extremely well for me and will for you and your wife as well.

Good luck.

Mac

jaywa · #16 02-05-2011, 08:53 AM

Thank you Mac. My wife was pretty badly underemployed in the job she just lost. Tough as it may be in the interim I'm hoping and believing this is actually a step toward something better for her.