The worst date/date from hell thread. C'mon out with it

Relic · #1 03-03-2011, 01:23 PM

Caution: tl;dr warning:

Probably the worst one - I was once set up with a gal on a blind date through some friends. Went to pick her up in my old Buick Skylark ... whose heater just decided to die on the way there on a cold January evening...picked her up, got halfway to the restaurant when the car starts spewing a massive amount of white smoke. It looked like a rolling fog bank..
Of course, she's blabbing on and on and doesn't notice, but I'm seeing this all unfold in my rear view mirror. So I happen upon a cheesy but much closer local place (instead of the nicer place that we were supposed to be going to) and pull in there. I made up some sort of excuse that "I didn't want her to catch a cold in my now unheated car"...pff yeah right. But it worked. her reply - "awwWwW that's so sweet.."

So we get in there and order drinks. Things are starting to look promising...until I go to pay for the drinks and realize that I don't have my wallet. Dammit! She also did not bring her purse and has no cash, so what happens....we get thrown out.

I get into my car to drive her to my place to get my wallet when....somewhere in that fog bank behind me I make out flashing red/blue lights...oh damn! Yep, I get pulled over, with no wallet, hence no license, registration, or insurance card. So now, I cant drive the car. Towed away..... worst part is that the cops just left us there and told us that they would have someone send a cab. So we're waiting outside - two hours later, cant go back into the restaurant, it's like 19 degrees out... so we start walking back to her house. I step into a bar that we passed and asked for a ride, no. I begged for some change to use a payphone and had enough to make 2 calls. No one picks up,,,waah. So we're walking to her house which was about 4 -5 miles away. On the way, I get caught peeing on a tree in some guy's front yard and have to make a run for it. It was just a sad sad night. She drove me home and I never saw her again.

hbarcat · #2 03-03-2011, 01:27 PM

Wow.

hbarcat · #3 03-03-2011, 01:34 PM

I took my date to the prom and just about the time we arrived at the banquet hall she started freaking out and babbling incoherently. Then she passed out. I checked her pulse and it was about 140BPM and her breathing was rapid and irregular so I called 911. The ambulance came right about the time she regained consciousness and they evaluated her and took her to the emergency room. Her parents met her there and it quickly came out that she decided it would be a good idea to experiment with a mixture of some recreational drugs before leaving the house.

I went back to the prom alone. Walking around the hall and mingling I found a couple of girls who were less than happy with their dates and were avoiding them so I hung out with them for awhile. One of them invited me to the motel she and her friends were renting for an after prom party. I spent the night with her.

Relic · #4 03-03-2011, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hbarcat

I took my date to the prom and just about the time we arrived at the banquet hall she started freaking out and babbling incoherently. Then she passed out. I checked her pulse and it was about 140BPM and her breathing was rapid and irregular so I called 911. The ambulance came right about the time she regained consciousness and they evaluated her and took her to the emergency room. Her parents met her there and it quickly came out that she decided it would be a good idea to experiment with a mixture of some recreational drugs before leaving the house.

I went back to the prom alone. Walking around the hall and mingling I found a couple of girls who were less than happy with their dates and were avoiding them so I hung out with them for awhile. One of them invited me to the motel she and her friends were renting for an after prom party. I spent the night with her.

See now yours has a happy ending and you were on the ball to call 911. WIN
Mine on the other hand was mostly created by my own young and naive dumb-arssery

EdHunter · #5 03-03-2011, 02:12 PM

None to speak of yet, but I'm sure that given my comic lack of cohesive thought patterns they'll pop up sometime...

Ziltoid · #6 03-03-2011, 02:17 PM

Awkward silences are probably the worst I've had so far.

hover · #7 03-03-2011, 02:20 PM

Yeah, there was that time I took a girl out and ran into her boyfriend...whom I didn't know she was seeing at the time...at the movies....with a bunch of his friends....

I miraculously didn't get into a fight or anything. I couldn't believe it. And for my troubles? No nookie.

hover · #8 03-03-2011, 02:21 PM

There was also this one girl who I had dated a few times that spread a rumor through school that I was gay because I didn't "do her" on the second date.

I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't into her because she was kinda horse-face, but the rumor part sucked to clear up for a while...

CrispyDelicious · #9 03-03-2011, 02:26 PM

Phhht. Beauty is only a light switch away.

TJ55 · #10 03-03-2011, 02:37 PM

Dark room + beer goggles = super model sexy time. I am a Victoria Secret photographer type sex machine w/ this in mind.

Relic · #11 03-03-2011, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hover

There was also this one girl who I had dated a few times that spread a rumor through school that I was gay because I didn't "do her" on the second date.

I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't into her because she was kinda horse-face, but the rumor part sucked to clear up for a while...

You sir, have WAY too much pride.
I mean she wasn't even horse-faced, she was "kinda horse-faced"
pfff
son, I am disappoint..

Webtroll · #12 03-03-2011, 02:41 PM

A friend set me up with a girl he said had seen me and liked me. All great. Except she chain smoked (I don't smoke) and had 4 kids (a bit much to throw out on a first date, no?). She was hot tho and I hated turning the action down, but I did. Regretted it every time I think about it too. I will say that kissing her was not unlike licking an ashtray, so it's not like I'm wallowing in self pity. Who knows? I could have been deadbeat dad #5...

Not really a date from hell, but worse than others I've had.

**Staccato** · #13 03-03-2011, 02:44 PM

Arranged a blind date. My date has an attitude problem about her below average height. What do I care if she's 5 ft. in height?

Unfortunately, she shows up with an obvious 'chip' on her shoulder. This one probably had lots of first dates...

boynamedsuse · #14 03-03-2011, 03:10 PM

Very hard to top the opening post. My worst one ever was getting lost on a first date trying to drive to a movie that was only playing at one theater. After 45 minutes she became annoyed with my futile attempts to locate this place and asked me to take her home. By then I was so lost and confused I almost couldn't do that either.

**SamanthaCay** · #15 03-03-2011, 03:23 PM

When I was in high school I went on a date with this girl I liked to a carnival that was in town.
Her and her Dad came to pick me up.
He was driving this old beat up smoking Lincoln town car and looked like a pretty scary dude big and tattooed to the nines.
On the way there we stopped so he could buy a bottle of cheap whiskey and when he came back I noticed that he started the car with a screw driver.
That was one scary Dad.

Another one involving a different scary Dad was when I was a bit older but still in high school.
My girlfriend at the time called me up and told me that her father was out of town and to come over as she and another girl had the whole place to them selves.
So I get there and as luck would have it,
it turns out that her father is a professional drug dealer (think scarface) there was a loaded gun in every room of the house and two drunk teenage girls that I ended up having the liberty of baby sitting that night.
There was an oozy sitting next to the toilet paper in the bathroom I checked, it was loaded.
That was a night I would love to never repeat.

MatticusMania · #16 03-03-2011, 03:26 PM

Worst date... I took some chick to see that horrible movie, House of Wax. Not only was the movie detestable, but so was the female. And I didnt even get laid.

About a year later this chick ended up at a party at my (well, my parents) house and tried to hook up with one of my friends, in MY ROOM! That chick got 86'd real quick.

MJ5150 · #17 03-03-2011, 03:40 PM

Rewind to 1990-ish...

I bought tickets for myself and another couple with their child to go see Charlie Daniels. I was working close to the venue, so we all agreed to meet outside by the ticket office on the day of the show. The couple shows up, but no child. Instead they brought along a friend they thought would be perfect for me.

I have always been a major fan of Charlie Daniels, so when I see him play, its all about the gig to me. Well, this friend did not like country music and did not like the fiddle one bit. She made sure I knew too. As the show starts, my buddy and his wife disappear to a beer garden so me and this friend could get to know each other.

Being uninterested in this woman and desiring to see my man Charlie get down, I took off to go to the bathroom, then went and found somewhere else to sit and enjoy the show. This was before the days of everyone having cell phones, so I had escaped for the night. I was still out the price of the ticket ($20 I believe), and I missed a good 30 minutes of the show listening to her whine about how stupid the music was and trying to tell me about herself.

I saw my buddy and his wife a few days later, and they were majorly pissed at me. We didn't talk for some time, but we both got over it and are friends now. But even when I bring it up today, he tells the story like he is still mad at me.

-Mike

Chebass88 · #18 03-03-2011, 04:06 PM

I once took a girl to the Olive Garden for dinner. I did not care for her too much (she was large, drank like a fish, and had low self esteem), and I still had the V-Card. (Don't knock my choice of Olive Garden - I knew exactly the quality I wanted to share with her - at least I could get infinite salad & breadsticks!)

My original plan was to take her out, get her lit, and lose the V-card. Her plan was to go out, eat dinner, and then go home early, because she had to work the next morning. I did not like her version of the plan, so on the way home, I lit the biggest, cheapest cigar I had and filled the car with smoke (she was in the front seat - I drove). I also proceded to call my buddies (who were out at a bar near my house), and asked what they were up to. I told them I had to drop some stuff off, and would be there soon.

A word about the car - It was 2003, and I was driving a 1987 Mercury Grand Marquis. Only one of the power windows worked, and the AC did not. It was in the middle of the summertime. Because I did not keep the best care of the car, it would occasionally overheat, so I would turn the heat on, and the excess heat would be into the passenger compartment via the heater. I also smoked heavily back then, so all of the ashtrays were overflowing, and coffee cups, etc. all over the place. It was pretty disgusting, in retrospect. The combination of cigar smoke, the heater on in the summer, poor ventilation on TOP OF being insulted over the phone to my buddies made her absolutely furious. I dropped her off, had a few beers with friends, and went home alone. Not too shabby a night!

SoonerMatt · #19 03-03-2011, 04:14 PM

I took a girl out to dinner at a pretty nice restaurant, we walked around OU's campus, which is gorgeous at night, and then went to a mutual friend's party. She runs into her ex, blows me off, and spends the rest of the night grinding on and making out with him and one of his other friends. They disappear and at this point I've said "screw it" and am hanging out with my friends. As I'm leaving I notice that there's something moving in my car; I think it's just her grabbing her purse out of the back seat but no, it's her with her ex ontop of her. Thankfully they hadn't gone through the motions (they did later that night, obviously) but I still cleaned the hell out of my car the next morning.

Skitch it! · #20 03-03-2011, 04:28 PM

Relics has to be the most calamitous of circumstance I've ever come across, that takes some beating, not your night there

Mine have been pretty much o.k, apart from the one involving laying down on an ants nest with a new girlfriend during a summer walk in long grass fields. What was looking good, turned into an ant bitten, sobbing, painful mercurial scene of disappoint. My then girlfriend got bitten the worst of course, and it certainly put the kibosh on my plans. It was very quiet on the way back home, there wasn't really much to say ; )