You cant be metal if: (one of those internet lists)

[Yngwie 4String]

•You don’t have a pair of black boots.
• You don’t have tight jeans.
• You don’t have long hair.
• You don’t have leather pants.
• You don’t own a bullet belt.
• You don’t have a black leather jacket.
• You don’t try to convince others that metal is one of the world’s seven wonders.
• You don’t listen to metal every single day.
• You date someone who isn’t into metal.
• Headbanging does not come naturally for you.
• You are not a member of Snakenet.
• You think bands like Linkin Park are metal.
• You are a Christian.
• You really care what religion anyone is.
• You don’t have a tattoo of a skull on your body, or your favorite band’s logo.
• You don’t worship Satan.
• You watch MTV.
• You think rap and metal make a good combination.
• You don’t drink or smoke.
• You defend mallcore bands when real metalheads put them down.
• You haven’t seen Manowar at least once.
• You can’t get into death (harsh) vocals.
• Your thumb sticks out the side when you throw the horns.
• You don’t own any band t-shirts.
• You think that Sepultura is body lotion.
• You cannot play the entire “Master of Reality” album from start to finish in your mind.
• You have a car that costs more than $200.00
• You do not emphasize OLD when you say you like Metallica or Megadeth.
• You are not a miserable bastard.
• You sit at a concert and clap.
• You don’t own any Iron Maiden.
• You cannot read certain band’s logos and have to check the spine.
• You look, behave, or smell like a normal person.
• You don’t own black eyeliner.
• Drinking a six-pack actually gives you a buzz.
• You buy your music at large corporate music store chains.
• You shop at Hot Topic.
• You are embarrassed to let other people know you listen to metal.
• You have attended the last three Ozzfests.
• You don’t wear corpse paint.
• You don’t own at least one murder weapon.
• You don’t view the population on this Earth as “sheep.”
• You go clubbing or dancing on Saturday nights.
• You have never cut a whole in your jeans on purpose.
• You have never shouted “SLAYER!!!” at any show where someone was performing live.
• Seeing two A’s in Megadeth doesn’t piss you off.
• You have never doodled pentagrams on your class notebook.
• You don’t know how to draw Eddie.
• You don’t know who Eddie is.
• You smile.
• You don’t start your own website dedicated to metal.
• You don’t name your pets stuff like Spike, Thor, Odin, or Lemmy.
• You drink Smirnoff Ice.
• People smoking weed bothers you.
• You think a drum machine is an instrument.
• You are Lars Ulrich.
• You dislike beer.
• You saw VH1’s “When Metal Ruled the World” and still thought they were talking about metal
• You don’t have a parole officer.
• You are somehow Satanic AND Athiest, a miraculous feat only true metalheads can achieve.
• You have dreads.
• The night is over for you once the concert ends.
• The following greeting sounds weird to you: HAIL!
• More pictures exist of you NOT throwing horns.
• People are NOT scared to sit next to you on the bus.
• You have more than one pair of jeans.
• You can’t understand Mikael Akerfeldt’s growls.
• You can’t spell or pronounce Mikael Akerfeldt properly.
• You confuse Chuck Billy with Chuck Schuldiner.
• You like Motley Crue.
• You think turntables make a good “Instrument” in a metal band.
• Your grandma doesn’t think your music is a bit “scary.”
• You’ve never been accused of being a Satan worshipper by others who don’t listen to metal.
• You think Korn and Limp Biskit are heavy.
• You think the Black Album was Metallica’s first album and St. Anger was ground breaking.
• You don’t get personally offended if someone puts down your favorite band.
• Your favorite television show is Friends.
• You enjoy all the bands on Roadrunner Records.
• You don’t know if Venom is black metal or not.
• You don’t know the difference between black metal and death metal.
• You don’t know about the Euronymous and Varg saga.
• You listen to ballads.
• You have never tried to explain exactly what black metal is to someone.
• You have that sticker of that kid peeing on something in your back window of your car/truck
• You think "Exodus" is just the name of a rave. (courtesy of Absolutspnkmstr)
• You cannot automatically spot a metal CD mixed in with crappy CDs. (couresty of Ron Rotten)

NOTE:If you take this seriously you are not metal.

[Fassa Albrecht]

This is brill.

[spade2you]

You are sooooo metal. Nebraska can't contain you.

[Mark Latimour]

Originally Posted by Yngwie 4String

•You don’t have a pair of black boots.
• You don’t have tight jeans.
• You don’t have long hair.
• You don’t have leather pants.
• You don’t own a bullet belt.
• You don’t have a black leather jacket.
• You don’t try to convince others that metal is one of the world’s seven wonders.
• You don’t listen to metal every single day.
• You date someone who isn’t into metal.
• Headbanging does not come naturally for you.
• You are not a member of Snakenet.
• You think bands like Linkin Park are metal.
• You are a Christian.
• You really care what religion anyone is.
• You don’t have a tattoo of a skull on your body, or your favorite band’s logo.
• You don’t worship Satan.
• You watch MTV.
• You think rap and metal make a good combination.
• You don’t drink or smoke.
• You defend mallcore bands when real metalheads put them down.
• You haven’t seen Manowar at least once.
• You can’t get into death (harsh) vocals.
• Your thumb sticks out the side when you throw the horns.
• You don’t own any band t-shirts.
• You think that Sepultura is body lotion.
• You cannot play the entire “Master of Reality” album from start to finish in your mind.
• You have "Yngwie" in your username on an online message board.
• You have a car that costs more than $200.00
• You do not emphasize OLD when you say you like Metallica or Megadeth.
• You are not a miserable bastard.
• You sit at a concert and clap.
• You don’t own any Iron Maiden.
• You cannot read certain band’s logos and have to check the spine.
• You look, behave, or smell like a normal person.
• You don’t own black eyeliner.
• Drinking a six-pack actually gives you a buzz.
• You buy your music at large corporate music store chains.
• You shop at Hot Topic.
• You are embarrassed to let other people know you listen to metal.
• You have attended the last three Ozzfests.
• You don’t wear corpse paint.
• You don’t own at least one murder weapon.
• You don’t view the population on this Earth as “sheep.”
• You go clubbing or dancing on Saturday nights.
• You have never cut a whole in your jeans on purpose.
• You have never shouted “SLAYER!!!” at any show where someone was performing live.
• Seeing two A’s in Megadeth doesn’t piss you off.
• You have never doodled pentagrams on your class notebook.
• You don’t know how to draw Eddie.
• You don’t know who Eddie is.
• You smile.
• You don’t start your own website dedicated to metal.
• You don’t name your pets stuff like Spike, Thor, Odin, or Lemmy.
• You drink Smirnoff Ice.
• People smoking weed bothers you.
• You think a drum machine is an instrument.
• You are Lars Ulrich.
• You dislike beer.
• You saw VH1’s “When Metal Ruled the World” and still thought they were talking about metal
• You don’t have a parole officer.
• You are somehow Satanic AND Athiest, a miraculous feat only true metalheads can achieve.
• You have dreads.
• The night is over for you once the concert ends.
• The following greeting sounds weird to you: HAIL!
• More pictures exist of you NOT throwing horns.
• People are NOT scared to sit next to you on the bus.
• You have more than one pair of jeans.
• You can’t understand Mikael Akerfeldt’s growls.
• You can’t spell or pronounce Mikael Akerfeldt properly.
• You confuse Chuck Billy with Chuck Schuldiner.
• You like Motley Crue.
• You think turntables make a good “Instrument” in a metal band.
• Your grandma doesn’t think your music is a bit “scary.”
• You’ve never been accused of being a Satan worshipper by others who don’t listen to metal.
• You think Korn and Limp Biskit are heavy.
• You think the Black Album was Metallica’s first album and St. Anger was ground breaking.
• You don’t get personally offended if someone puts down your favorite band.
• Your favorite television show is Friends.
• You enjoy all the bands on Roadrunner Records.
• You don’t know if Venom is black metal or not.
• You don’t know the difference between black metal and death metal.
• You don’t know about the Euronymous and Varg saga.
• You listen to ballads.
• You have never tried to explain exactly what black metal is to someone.
• You have that sticker of that kid peeing on something in your back window of your car/truck
• You think "Exodus" is just the name of a rave. (courtesy of Absolutspnkmstr)
• You cannot automatically spot a metal CD mixed in with crappy CDs. (couresty of Ron Rotten)

NOTE:If you take this seriously you are not metal.

Wow.....even the "Metal" list doesn't dig Yngwie!

[ROON]

LOL Mark.

[KeithBMI]

Beautiful, Mark.

Beautiful.

[meev992]

metal sucks

[TSanders]

Originally Posted by meev992

metal sucks

+1.

Who cares if Im not metal? I couldnt care less.

[peaveyuser]

really to be metal is not giving a $h!t about stuff like this.

[Yngwie 4String]

IT WAS JUST A JOKE PEOPLE!

[StanFan]

Originally Posted by Yngwie 4String

• You don’t have leather pants.
• You don’t own a bullet belt.
• You don’t have a black leather jacket.
• You don’t try to convince others that metal is one of the world’s seven wonders.
• You don’t listen to metal every single day.
• You are not a member of Snakenet.
• You are a Christian.
• You don’t have a tattoo of a skull on your body, or your favorite band’s logo.
• You don’t worship Satan.
• You don’t drink or smoke.
• You haven’t seen Manowar at least once.
• You cannot play the entire “Master of Reality” album from start to finish in your mind.
• You do not emphasize OLD when you say you like Metallica or Megadeth.
• You look, behave, or smell like a normal person.
• You don’t own black eyeliner.
• Drinking a six-pack actually gives you a buzz.
• You buy your music at large corporate music store chains.
• You don’t own at least one murder weapon.
• You don’t view the population on this Earth as “sheep.”
• You have never shouted “SLAYER!!!” at any show where someone was performing live.
• Seeing two A’s in Megadeth doesn’t piss you off.
• You smile.
• You don’t start your own website dedicated to metal.
• You don’t name your pets stuff like Spike, Thor, Odin, or Lemmy.
• You don’t have a parole officer.
• The night is over for you once the concert ends.
• The following greeting sounds weird to you: HAIL!
• More pictures exist of you NOT throwing horns.
• People are NOT scared to sit next to you on the bus.
• You have more than one pair of jeans.
• You’ve never been accused of being a Satan worshipper by others who don’t listen to metal.
• You listen to ballads.

The above disqualifies me.

[Sir Edward V]

Originally Posted by Yngwie 4String

• You are a Christian.
• You really care what religion anyone is.

haha, how contradictory

and I'm not metal

[meev992]

Originally Posted by ebmuscmanlvr83

+1.

Who cares if Im not metal? I couldnt care less.

indeed

You know what I care about? Making sure my kid isn't an idiot enough to jump off of a swing-set.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r54qmt_vvfA

[jsbass]

Originally Posted by Yngwie 4String

• You are Lars Ulrich.

Hah!

Yngwie, does your life revolve around just thinking metal? Cause that's not metal, dude.

[Valerus]

Pretty funny.

[Yngwie 4String]

Yngwie, does your life revolve around just thinking metal? Cause that's not metal, dude.

What?

[meev992]

Originally Posted by Yngwie 4String

What?

"Yngwie, does your life revolve around just thinking metal? Cause that's not metal, dude."

[Fontaine]

Punk

*ducks*

[Yngwie 4String]

"Yngwie, does your life revolve around just thinking metal? Cause that's not metal, dude."

Not all the time, girls and food run across my mind once in a while.

[peaveyuser]

Originally Posted by meev992

"Yngwie, does your life revolve around just thinking metal? Cause that's not metal, dude."

yah to be metal you also have to think about

fixing your crap 300$ car (cause metalheads are poor)

Girls (you need something to tame that raw masculinity sometimes eh)

where you'll get your next bong hit (need I say more)

finding some way to get enough money to pay up the rent and catching up for those payments you have on that monstrous Ampeg 8x10 cab.

finding where your gas station uniform is cause you have to go to work soon.

how far the closest fast food restaurant is cause your hungry

etc......