A youngin' soon to arrive -- bassist/parent tips?

Testing_123 · #1 05-25-2011, 04:32 PM

Any bassists/parents care to share advice for a soon-to-be-first-time dad? (And a bit of a geezer at that -- 36 yrs old...)

Not so much the diapers/feedings/no-sleep/etc. stuff (we've gotten PLENTY of that sort of advice, believe me) --

How about the music side of things? Did it shut you down from playing? Were you able to keep active as a musician? What's realistic (or perhaps when is realistic?) in terms of keeping your instrument a part of your life?

Relic · #2 05-25-2011, 04:34 PM

Ooo ooo lemme be the first to say it - CONGRATS!

MatticusMania · #3 05-25-2011, 04:36 PM

Record your babies cries and use them to make a brootal metal song! \m/

Relic · #4 05-25-2011, 04:38 PM

Now that I won the 1st post contest...

Musically, it really depends on a lot of factors. In my case, nah it didn't change too much. I still was in a band, still practiced, still wrote.. but I just had this amazing little person to also care for which made the music trivial in comparison.
At first it's going to be tough - sleepless nights, fatigue etc but after a while things will get back into a sort of rhythm. It may take a year or two (or three!). I have 3 boys now and am pretty much as active as I've always been. It was far easier before the young 'uns came along - that's for sure, but I'm still able to stay as active as I want to be

EricF · #5 05-25-2011, 04:42 PM

Especially since this is your first, it's likely that it might take a little time for you both to settle into comfort level where one of you taking off for a while for personal ventures isn't going to leave the other feeling abandoned or resentful. However, a lot of it has to do with the dynamics of your relationship. Each family's balance is different.

Congrats!!!! It's a hell of a ride. Enjoy every minute.

tastybasslines · #6 05-25-2011, 05:37 PM

I have a 19 month old now and she loves music. I played my bass around her all the time, and sometimes let her adjust my "tone" while she plays with the buttons on my amp. Never TOO loud though. She's curious, and likes to slap on the strings. My buddy gave me a keyboard about 3 months ago and we sit together at it and play it together...sometimes for almost 15-20 minutes (longer than some adults)...I just play 2 basic notes and after a few sessions, you could tell, she was trying to copy me and play the same way. They pick things up FAST and are smarter than you think. My buddy took his 5 month old to an outdoor show...they love music. If they don't physically react don't be fooled, they love it in the brain. And I think I read somewhere that babies who are exposed to alot of music are smarter...which is why all the bass players here in OT are so well spoken!

Tracebassplayer · #7 05-25-2011, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MatticusMania

Record your babies cries and use them to make a brootal metal song! \m/

Record your baby's crying and play it back at 'em when the kid is 16 and whining cause he has to do chores before hangin at the mall!!

JK,, funny though, huh?

Seriously though, teach the kid to play bass and you will have a better time keeping at least your practice time up and good bonding time...

BartmanPDX · #8 05-25-2011, 06:23 PM

It's nice to really get away now and then.

Music lets you do that. Make time for it if you have to.

6jase5 · #9 05-25-2011, 10:11 PM

It's the best job in the world for me, being a dad. I love my little princess more than life itself and of course she has all the requisite "daddy's little rocker" tshirts (she's 9 months old now).

I didn't cancel one gig or one rehearsal and I mostly owe that to my awesome wife. She also loves grabbing the bass strings and yanking (see avatar), so a good beater bass is nice to have!!!!

guitar ed · #10 05-26-2011, 08:21 AM

Congrats on the new kid-to-be. As for being an "older" parent, I turned 40 the day after my daughter was born, and she is now 10. So you aren't THAT old. But now I am.

All I can say is: Enjoy the experience. Ask the nurses at the hospital to teach you how to change the diapers & stuff. Take and post pix, or the kid does not exist. No returns or refins allowed. Hugs & kisses are more important than $ to a kid.

Take care,

edg

masturbasser · #11 05-26-2011, 08:37 AM

Don't feel bad about being 36. I'm 31 and my fiance is two months pregnant with our first child. At this age I was unsure if I even wanted kids but things happen and I'm happy about it now. As for the music I have no advice. It's been low on the totem pole for me for a few years now and about to go lower once I start mortuary college.

Lazylion · #12 05-26-2011, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EricF

Especially since this is your first, it's likely that it might take a little time for you both to settle into comfort level where one of you taking off for a while for personal ventures isn't going to leave the other feeling abandoned or resentful. However, a lot of it has to do with the dynamics of your relationship.

Starting when the kid can walk, you'll know exactly how content with the current music situation your lady is. You'll be able to tell by the time at which she lets the kid into your bedroom to wake you up after a late night. You get to bed at 4, and she lets the little darling in to jump on your head at 6:30, you've got a problem. If she keeps the kid occupied until 11, you're cool.

One hint: paying gigs are much more "forgivable" than jams/practices. Trust me on this, I have been there!

Good luck!