Your opinions on "Workplace Romance"

[f'nar f'nar]

What do you guys think about a relationship that blossoms between two people who work together regularly? I am currently in a situation in which I'm 'seeing' my supervisor, but it's really the first time anything like this has ever happened to me in the workplace. The relationship is still in it's infancy but I'm still concerned about the ramifications of actually dating someone whom I work with regularly (I don't mind that she's my boss, it's actually kind of hot).

I have been told on many occasions that it's not a particularly good idea, which I can understand, especially if we break up or the relationship turns sour. Has anyone here ever been in a similar situation? Did you encounter any problems either with the person themselves or your other workmates/employers?

P.S. I have already made up my mind somewhat about how I'm going to move forward . I'm just curious as to how everyone else feels about this issue!

[colcifer]

Jim and Pam: yes
Dwight and Angela: eh
Andy and anybody: no

Sorry to not have advice but I felt it necessary to get that out of the way.

[Crass!]

Originally Posted by f'nar f'nar

What do you guys think about a relationship that blossoms between two people who work together regularly? I am currently in a situation in which I'm 'seeing' my supervisor, but it's really the first time anything like this has ever happened to me in the workplace. The relationship is still in it's infancy but I'm still concerned about the ramifications of actually dating someone whom I work with regularly (I don't mind that she's my boss, it's actually kind of hot).

I have been told on many occasions that it's not a particularly good idea, which I can understand, especially if we break up or the relationship turns sour. Has anyone here ever been in a similar situation? Did you encounter any problems either with the person themselves or your other workmates/employers?

P.S. I have already made up my mind somewhat about how I'm going to move forward . I'm just curious as to how everyone else feels about this issue!

depends on your age and how much you like your current job.

If you're younger and working a job vs. a career, go for it. Nothing like banging your boss on company time/premises & getting paid for it =)

If you're older and/or in a full-blown career you would at a minimum want to keep it more subtle. Keep it off of company premises and time. It can still turn weird, but its less likely to adversely affect your career.

[jonathan_matos5]

i used to date the flautist in the band. (im a college band geek) that is the closest i have ever gotten to workplace romance. it was one of those we had too much in common. the relationship was intense and burned out quickly. we are on good terms now but it is like she is everywhere now and we have the same group of friends.

honestly i think the whole dynamic is more awkward to our friends they try and avoid topics that would remind us we dated/ made out/ etc.

i said all that to really say. . .

I got nothing.

don't rule out office romance sometimes it is the only place you get to interact with real people.

[warwick.hoy]

The gal I married I met at work. Of course it was at a job I had no intentions of working at forever and nor did she. She was the Espresso 'ho and I was the angry grill guy. There was no position of authority, or conflict of interest. We've since worked a few seasonal jobs together and we make a good team, but now that we've grown up a little we have separate jobs.

While I think it's easy to become attracted to someone you work with,...I think it's just a cop out to going out and meeting someone on your own time (yes I sorta copped out on this since I married a former coworker,...but dating sucks and we get along just fine). Things can get weird if they don't work out,...even if you think you are mature enough to handle it.

[Lesfunk]

I believe it's your business and between the two of you. I don't feel it's my place to comment

[ugly_bassplayer]

Don't !@#$ with the payroll.

My 2 cents.

[Winnb]

I've nailed plenty of co-workers, but never my boss. Just make sure you're both on the same page. Is she looking for a long term, get married, have kids kind of relationship? Or is she just having fun? Cuz if you break up, and she hates you, and she's your boss... She'll be f***ing you again. Only this time it won't be pleasurable.

[Lesfunk]

Originally Posted by ugly_bassplayer

Don't !@#$ with the payroll.

My 2 cents.

Kind of like "Don't poop where you eat"?

[S.Harrison]

Been with my "workplace romance" almost 15 years, married ten, two beautiful kids. Granted, she hasn't worked there in four years due to a hideously bad back but as long as we were professionals about doing our jobs there were no issues.

[basstotheface]

You are a woman right?

[dave64o]

Any involvement between an employee and someone in their reporting chain has all kinds of risks. Tread very carefully. Seriously.

[Selta]

I'm betting your company has a policy on this. Even if not, you're in an odd place, and one I wouldn't willingly put myself. Coworker is OK, Boss, not so much.

[IotaNet]

Many years ago, a wise man told me:

* Don't fish off of the company pier
* Don't dip your pen in the company ink
* Don't crap where you eat

[coldfoot_luke]

It's possible if you're mature and careful... I've always worked in bars/restaurants to pay my way through college, and have "screwed the crew" numerous times... with disastrous results, a lot of drama. Generally, avoid it, especially if there is alcohol around.

However... I've been dating a girl who hired me a year and a half ago. We worked together for eight months and got to know each other before getting together. I was awful proud to be dating my boss, but it was only a temporary job to pay for grad school. We aren't coworkers anymore, and I'm planning on making her a missus next year.

Difference is, before I would go out after work with coworkers, get drunk and fool around. This time around, alcohol was not a factor in our relationship, and we were more mature and subtle about it. It wasn't a sordid affair, we got to know each other and started pursuing a relationship while keeping work professional.

Bottom line, it's possible if you are mature about it, don't make it awkward for your coworkers (PDA and so on) and keep your job in mind while pursuing the relationship. Good luck-

[Jim Campbell]

Originally Posted by f'nar f'nar

What do you guys think about a relationship that blossoms between two people who work together regularly? I am currently in a situation in which I'm 'seeing' my supervisor, but it's really the first time anything like this has ever happened to me in the workplace. The relationship is still in it's infancy but I'm still concerned about the ramifications of actually dating someone whom I work with regularly (I don't mind that she's my boss, it's actually kind of hot).

I have been told on many occasions that it's not a particularly good idea, which I can understand, especially if we break up or the relationship turns sour. Has anyone here ever been in a similar situation? Did you encounter any problems either with the person themselves or your other workmates/employers?

P.S. I have already made up my mind somewhat about how I'm going to move forward . I'm just curious as to how everyone else feels about this issue!

it's probably not a good idea,but you sometimes have to take these things where you find them....if you understand that this could blow up in your face and find you out of a job,and it still means enough for you to go ahead anyway,i'd say go for it......

[jrthebassguy]

At an old job I dated a coworker. Back when things were going good, it made work that much better. It helped make the day go by much faster, and we (obviously) got to see each other pretty often as a result. The way the nature of this job worked, we didn't necesarily work together all day either, so there was some separation too, which wasn't necesarily a bad thing. For ~6 months, it made the job a pretty awesome place to be.


When we split though, things got real ugly. Especially the way things went down - she left me for another coworker, (one of my supposed "best friends") and he decided that everyone needed to choose sides - you can either be on "my side" or "theirs". We were all a very tight knit group - about 20+ people aged 18-25 or so that hung out outside of work all of the time. I was 21 at the time, but this situation turned everyone into children, of which I'm just as guilty. There were people who were loyal to me, and people who now refused to deal with me. I was surprised by it all...I never asked for that situation at all, and it was surprising to see so many people turn into little children, including those who weren't directly involved in the situation. Even one of the managers decided to get involved.


I already had separate a issue with management, so this situation just made it easier for me to quit. Good thing it was just a throwaway college job, I can't imagine trying something like that ever again.



So heed my cautionary tale - IF things work out you're in for a treat. But if things get ugly, be prepared for the worst.

[Unrepresented]

It'll create drama. If you're cool with other employees disliking you and your boss/partner and the job doesn't mean much to you or to her, then proceed.

If either of you are hoping to retain this job or advance in it, I'd recommend against it.

[Cabazon]

Keep it up. It will either be awesome and then awful, or awesome and then not awful.

Either way, there's awesome involved.

[ugly_bassplayer]

Originally Posted by Lesfunk

Kind of like "Don't poop where you eat"?

Kinda, it can be awesome but the potential for problems is really high.