Your take on "not fighting back" with bullying.

[scorpionldr]

I listen a lot lately to 101.5, a popular jersey news station. A couple days ago I heard a discussion on talk radio about schools recommending "the best method to deal with bullying is to get on the ground in the fetal position" rather than fighting, which would result in suspensions in public school.

So whats your views, is it responsible? or is it spineless?

[MJ5150]

I don't suggest violence in return unless it is to preserve your own life, but curling up on the ground doesn't seem like the right answer either. We advised our children to take evasive actions to get away from the bully and to report the matter to the proper authority.

-Mike

[Kawai-chang]

I think it's totally incorrect. It just reinforces the bully/victim mentality the bully has.

[scorpionldr]

oh wait. The other option was "run".

[Kawai-chang]

Originally Posted by scorpionldr

oh wait. The other option was "run".

Wouldn't that also reinforce the "bully/victim" mindset?

[Kawai-chang]

As a disclaimer: I don't have children, so I cannot say with any real certainty what I would do if my child was in said situation.

[Texan]

I told my kids to always try to walk away and get a teacher, never get physical unless their is no alternative. If the bully assaults them, that they are to incapacitate the bully as quickly as possible so that they can get away, and go straight to the principles office. I don't support laying down and taking a beating, I will gladly accept my kids being suspended if they are defending themselves. I went to a pretty rough high school and fought regularly, I was never suspended because I never started it. We are starting to raise a nation of wimps, you have to learn to stand up for yourself.

[scorpionldr]

Originally Posted by Kawai-chang

Wouldn't that also reinforce the "bully/victim" mindset?

lol it would. But I guess their theory is "well if you'd rather come out of it unharmed".

[jarrydee]

Originally Posted by Texan

I told my kids to always try to walk away and get a teacher, never get physical unless their is no alternative. If the bully assaults them, that they are to incapacitate the bully as quickly as possible so that they can get away, and go straight to the principles office. I don't support laying down and taking a beating, I will gladly accept my kids being suspended if they are defending themselves. I went to a pretty rough high school and fought regularly, I was never suspended because I never started it. We are starting to raise a nation of wimps, you have to learn to stand up for yourself.

Very well said!!

[Kawai-chang]

Originally Posted by scorpionldr

lol it would. But I guess their theory is "well if you'd rather come out of it unharmed".

Sadly, I think it would only be a delaying tactic.

[guy n. cognito]

My kids are being taught that they should never start a fight, but they are allowed to defend themselves violently and aggressively if attacked.

[sandmangeck]

Originally Posted by jarrydee

I may be the worst parent in the world, I tell my kids to NEVER let anyone put their hands on them, if they do, beat their ass. I can tell you that if you just lay there it will never end, you will be picked on for ever, BUT, if you bust the person in the nose, even if you loose the fight they are less likely to try it again!

Photo is supposed to be funny, not offensive!

Language bro.

[Kawai-chang]

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

My kids are being taught that they should never start a fight, but they are allowed to defend themselves violently and aggressively if attacked.

This is the way I would go.

When someone thinks there is no consequence to what they do, they do it with gusto. When you toss the "I may get a full-on beating" into the mix, it's amazing how they have second thoughts.

[Rumblestiltskin]

Originally Posted by Kawai-chang

I think it's totally incorrect. It just reinforces the bully/victim mentality the bully has.

I don't know the answer to this problem but, assuming the foetal position pretty much guarantees you a rather good kicking.....maybe running away?....you may find you are rather a good runner....and when you are running the 1000mtrs at the olympics, those childhood memories may serve to spur you on...

[CrashClint]

Originally Posted by guy n. cognito

My kids are being taught that they should never start a fight, but they are allowed to defend themselves violently and aggressively if attacked.

I was taught basically the same thing, attempt to back away slowly if possible and do not throw the first punch but if attacked you need to do what needs to be done to end it as quickly as possible.

Going into the fetal position will only get you stomped on.

[onosson]

Originally Posted by scorpionldr

I listen a lot lately to 101.5, a popular jersey news station. A couple days ago I heard a discussion on talk radio about schools recommending "the best method to deal with bullying is to get on the ground in the fetal position" rather than fighting, which would result in suspensions in public school.

So whats your views, is it responsible? or is it spineless?

That's exactly what I did when I was a new kid at the school in grade 4 and two kids ended up deciding to beat me up every recess.

It shortly ended, and I don't recall being bullied again after that by anyone. In fact, I was later (grade 7) friends with one of the bullies - I'm not sure he even remembered having bullied me.

Just my experience.

[1958Bassman]

Originally Posted by scorpionldr

I listen a lot lately to 101.5, a popular jersey news station. A couple days ago I heard a discussion on talk radio about schools recommending "the best method to deal with bullying is to get on the ground in the fetal position" rather than fighting, which would result in suspensions in public school.

So whats your views, is it responsible? or is it spineless?

Who recommended this? Have they ever seen bullying in action?

Going fetal will only gain a bad reputation with everyone because everyone in the school will hear about it, probably before the kid even gets off the ground. That will lead more bullies to pick on them, IMO. They need to stand their ground, even if it makes them incredibly uncomfortable and it's far from their "character" to do this. Also, other kids need to stand up for the weaker kids if they just wouldn't stand a chance against one of the bullies.

Parents need to talk to their kids about this- they need to ask if they have seen it happen and at this point, I think it should start in about 1st grade. If the bully just dumps books, it's not so bad but if they start with violence, the youngest kids should let the teacher know. If the bully corners the victim and threatens them, I think their actions and attitude will change pretty quickly because of their fear.

Teachers and parents need to pay close attention and apparently, people are too busy to make sure their kids aren't being victimized. Unfortunately, bullies can be very creative in how they intimidate others.

Bullies don't like it when their victim stands up to them- I did it and was never bothered again by a guy who would have kicked my butt. Being bullied sucks and standing up to them makes the victim feel better about themself once it's over.

[scorpionldr]

Originally Posted by 1958Bassman

Who recommended this? Have they ever seen bullying in action?

Going fetal will only gain a bad reputation with everyone because everyone in the school will hear about it, probably before the kid even gets off the ground. That will lead more bullies to pick on them, IMO. They need to stand their ground, even if it makes them incredibly uncomfortable and it's far from their "character" to do this. Also, other kids need to stand up for the weaker kids if they just wouldn't stand a chance against one of the bullies.

Parents need to talk to their kids about this- they need to ask if they have seen it happen and at this point, I think it should start in about 1st grade. If the bully just dumps books, it's not so bad but if they start with violence, the youngest kids should let the teacher know. If the bully corners the victim and threatens them, I think their actions and attitude will change pretty quickly because of their fear.

Teachers and parents need to pay close attention and apparently, people are too busy to make sure their kids aren't being victimized. Unfortunately, bullies can be very creative in how they intimidate others.

Parents who heard their kid's principals use that as the go to method.

How were you all raised? Cuz personally, I was kinda brought up with the "don't hit back, cuz we're prettymuch afraid you'll kill someone" method.

Nowadays tho, I feel even more willing to go rabid chimpanzee on someone if they've earned it.

[i_got_a_mohawk]

Originally Posted by Texan

I told my kids to always try to walk away and get a teacher, never get physical unless their is no alternative. If the bully assaults them, that they are to incapacitate the bully as quickly as possible so that they can get away, and go straight to the principles office. I don't support laying down and taking a beating, I will gladly accept my kids being suspended if they are defending themselves. I went to a pretty rough high school and fought regularly, I was never suspended because I never started it. We are starting to raise a nation of wimps, you have to learn to stand up for yourself.

This is how I was raised and how I hope to raise my children should they come along.

Never start it, avoid it if possible, retaliation if it gets physical.

[NML1986]

Avoid a fight when possible, but to lay down and just give in, no way.
If you can run then do so, if not then, let them go to attack, then anything you do after that is self defence.