Zombies attack/other disaster while Im at work

[richnota]

My home is well equipped for disaster. Food, water, medical, chainsaws, rocket launcher, etc.

But let's be realistic: we all know that the big zombie attack/earthquake/tsunami/etc. will happen when I'm in my office. I now I will have to survive using my assorted pens, mousepad and cheap promotional swizz-army knife in my desk. I will assume my co-workers will break down in panic and quickly succumb (we lost web access the other day and several of them had to be hospitalized).

What should I pack in my in-office survival bag?

[bongomania]

Several rolls of old silver dimes, and a slingshot. That way you've got both currency and ammo.

[Thor]

Duct tape is always a wise choice.

[BartmanPDX]

Make sure you have access to one of those big table-top paper cutters with the long arm on the side and some tools. When the zombies come, remove the long arm from the base and you'll have a serviceable machete, or at least something more savagely useful than any of your officemates could boast.

[drteeth]

I have a flamethrower in my desk, don't you?

[richnota]

Originally Posted by BartmanPDX

Make sure you have access to one of those big table-top paper cutters with the long arm on the side and some tools. When the zombies come, remove the long arm from the base and you'll have a serviceable machete, or at least something more savagely useful than any of your officemates could boast.

Much better than foam core body armor.

[richnota]

Originally Posted by drteeth

I have a flamethrower in my desk, don't you?

Human Resources confiscated my flame thrower. Something about OSHA

[Relic]

I work from bunker...errr I mean home, but if I did work at an orifice, I would say the most important things are:

1) several wads of dollar bills. Be alert. At the first sign of zombies, yell "FReeeEe monnehhh!!! and toss said wads on the ground. As your coworkers scramble for the cash not noticing the zombies. You will be gifted w/ extra escape times while the zombies snack on their brains.

2) a big flashlight. It just looks cool.

3) condoms. You should never be ANYWHERE without them anyway, right?

4) matches and several small pint-sized cans of gasoline. (You never know when you may encounter a small car)

5) at least pack one fire arm. Preferably a shot gun cuz you'll need to shoot the zombie in the brain to kill them. Alternatively you could entertain yourself endlessly simply by racking the slide and enjoy how cool that sound makes you look. *ker-chak*, yeah I'm a bad**s, yo!

6) cell phone you always need to one to call for victi..err pizza delivery in case you get surrounded by zombies.

[varunkapahi]

all you need is love!

[Lady Kayri]

Depending on the type of zombie, packs of salt can sometimes be of service!

[P. Aaron]

Several boxes of Milk Duds. Besides being absolutely delicious, they can sustain you through your battles in the cube or on the street. They last forever.

[MatticusMania]

My office is well equipped for a zombie attack. I would use this place as a fortress and play with the forklifts in the warehouse all day... finally I will be allowed to drive one!

[fenderfunker]

Every time I try and practise, I get a 'zombie attack'......"Can you fix this" or, "Have you rung that person yet" blah blah...uh oh...here they come again.

[Smurf-o-Deth]

Cast iron frying pan. It can be used to deadly effect in close quarters, can be used to pan-sift water streams for supplies, not to mention the obvious cooking applications. Also, Porno mags. It's gonna get lonely.

[burk48237]

Originally Posted by P. Aaron

Several boxes of Milk Duds. Besides being absolutely delicious, they can sustain you through your battles in the cube or on the street. They last forever.

Same thing is true with Pop tarts, the durable pastry that NEVER gets stale.

[tplyons]

I have a desk drawer full of candy... that's more than plenty to keep me going when I lock myself in a conference room and barricade the door.

[Sbociol]

Originally Posted by Lady Kayri

Depending on the type of zombie, packs of salt can sometimes be of service!

One Piece anybody?

[your idol]

1.)handgun-find a common caliber that you can stock up on from store to store while looting...keep it simple and reliable
2.)road flair
3.)toilet paper -because leaves suck and doubles for the impromptu i quit moment..also see item #1
4.)pron!!! never underestimate the fact that this may eventually be worth something or serve as your only for of companionship/stress reilef
5.)hot sauce -a savior for the eat what is available situation
6.) a big sharp knife..not a machete, not a swiss army..think paul hogan
7.) rope. the one thing that comes in handy over and over again
8.) asprin- dont underestimate how much a headache or heart attack can hamper your focus when you may need it most
9.) big screw drive- from stabbing zombies to stealing cars this can save your butt
10.) a good hat..keeps sun/rain/snow out of your eyes

bonus items- led flashlight and a big magnifying glass use for signaling or starting mid day fires with no flint

[bassteban]

toilet paper

[Chunk-O-Funk]

Change the decor of your office to something a bit more medieval.



Not only will you be safe from zombie bites, you have a big sword in which to smash zombie heads. Everybody knows you have to behead a zombie to kill it.


Of course this is not fool-proof and non effective in a horde of zombies, but it should get you out of the building. If you happen to run out of the building and in to a horde of zombies,....well, you're pretty much a walking can of spam.

Good luck!