Gamblin' on Effects (Literally), OR:

andvari7 · #1 07-09-2008, 01:59 PM

...How I Just Became the Proud Owner of a Deluxe Electric Mistress
(A Little Review of an Effect, and the Big Review of Two Non-Consecutive Days in My Life)

HISTORY: I'm not a gambling man. Never wanted to be - unless it were in Monte Carlo, in a tuxedo, drinking sixty-year-old Johnnie Walker, and at a baccarat table. But that requires a plane ticket, a tuxedo, and about $500,000 that I simply do not have. Or, a vivid imagination, of which I am in endless supply.

But I digress.

This past Independence Day Weekend, my uncle convinced me to go to the riverboats with him (I think a boat, on the shores of Lake Michigan, overlooking the ArcelorMittal steel mills in Hammond, Indiana, is very picturesque). My parents, wanting to do whatever it was they were doing, gave me $40, and I obliged. At the casino, where they carded me, presumably because I look like the teenager I'm not (and for a young, suburban professional, that can be deadly), I went to the slot machines on the first floor, because it was closer to the exit (we were with our grandparents, who are very, very old), and I was getting bored fast. And, because the thought of hopeless addiction to something so pointless as gambling actually scares me (my family is prone to serious addictions), I was even more leery of the flashing lights and loud buzzers of the neighborhood slot machine.

But, I'm an anthropologist, and it is my academic duty to be objective on cultural matters, such as this.

And, based on the "What the hell?" principle - whereupon the subject, in a moment of true initiative, says, "What the hell?" and goes about a task previously deemed inappropriate for a given situation - I put $25 into a 50¢ slot machine. A short while later, I was rewarded with the flashing lights and loud buzzers of a big win. I cashed out, got my monies (I will not disclose the amount, save for it being a substantial increase from the $46 with which I initially went to the casino), and went about browsing. Somewhere in the mix, my grandparents asked me how my fortunes were, and I had to answer.

We went home (well, to my grandparents' house - Hammond, IN, is a four-hour distance from Madison, WI), told my parents, and we ended up getting fried chicken for lunch. On my dime. After being pestered. Every. F$&%ing. Minute. From the time we left the casino, to the point we dined.
<all> GET ON WITH IT!!! <\all>

I mean, I don't mind paying for lunch, especially if I didn't actually work for the money. But to hear it constantly is kind of bothersome.
<God> GET ON WITH IT!!! <\God>

Again, I digress.

Anyway, that was five days ago, and all backdrop to what occurred two hours ago. I had just finished work this morning - I was on an assignment to Rockford, IL, and finished with that part of the operation early (the other part was to email my boss the numbers, which I did a half an hour ago) - and had just returned to the city. I went to a new favorite little guitar shop, and hoped to high heavens that they still had some of the cool stuff they did a fortnight past (an Acoustic 360/361 stack, a Marshall JCM-900 100w full stack, the same Marshall stack, but a half-stack version, an Ampeg V-4 stack, a BUNCH of old tube amps, and a very, very cramped space - heaven on a bun). And they had, in their display case, a Deluxe Electric Mistress. Does the current DEM use an adapter, or is it a grounded AC plug? Because this one's the latter. Anyway, after browsing for an hour, conversing with the people at the counter, in a very funny conversation, I worked up the courage to inquire about the DEM. And, after a longer while, and another funny conversation, I worked up more of that "What the hell?" mentality, and paid $115 for it. I don't mind telling that price, because I didn't really earn that money.

Will there be clips? I can't play anything right now - my Q-Tron and my Bassballs are at Electro-Harmonix, undergoing possible repairs. They got the package yesterday, and I figure it will be at least a week before they do anything. Will there be an actual REVIEW of this pedal? Well, there are enough of these, but I suppose I could give it a shot. Lord knows Harmony Central has fifty million reviews for the Clyde Deluxe, which is a rarer bird than this.

nad · #2 07-09-2008, 02:27 PM

This is a thread of extraordinary magnitude.

You have our gratitude!

kevteop · #3 07-09-2008, 02:47 PM

I enjoyed your story enough not to give a toss what the pedal sounds like. Thank you.

JanusZarate · #4 07-09-2008, 02:50 PM

Awesome thread. It gracefully walks the line between "blatantly OT" and "right at home in the Effects Forum"...

But anyhow... in response to your question: The current DEM uses an AC adapter. The previous model used a grounded AC cord that came straight out of the pedal.

andvari7 · #5 07-09-2008, 02:54 PM

Okay, then I have an older model. Actually, there will be a proper review tonight. No clips for a while, but I'll deliver on those, too.

andvari7 · #6 07-09-2008, 03:16 PM

I'm done with work for the day, so I'll start on my review:

EXTERNAL APPEARANCE: Normally, I wouldn't make more than a couple comments about the looks of pedals - they're not all that relevant - but, seeing as this is an older pedal, I think a general overview of the state of the effect would be a good idea. For a pedal that is possibly ten or more years older than I am, it's absolutely beautiful. Very little scratching, some spots of grime, and a little dust under the knobs, but otherwise uncharacteristically clean.

SOUND: The bread of an effects review. Though my musical tastes and playing styles run the gamut from muffy metal to classical, my tastes in effects aren't quite as diverse. For example, my ideal guitar wah sound is that old Clyde McCoy vibe, and I can't stand a lot of these squealy, Zakk Wylde-y wahs. Read my complaints on wahs in my recently-unearthed, recently-translated (from Proto-Celtic) "Multi-tasking Wahs?" and my New York Times Bestseller "Who Names Their Kids Clyde Anymore? An Initial Review of the Fulltone Clyde Deluxe Wah." For chorus, it's the Polychorus, the Danelectro Cool Cat (18v only), or the Small Clone. And so on. The Danelectro Psycho Flange (from the eponymous review I wrote a couple of months back) certainly has an unorthodox sound, but it is not my ideal flanger. The old-school sound is, once again, my ideal.

EASE OF USE: The butter of the effects review. Just because it has three knobs and a filter matrix switch DOES NOT mean it is easy to use. It's a good pedal - it has a learning curve. You have to try to make it sound right. But once you get it, it's the way to be.

Well, to be fair, it is a quick learn. I took all of twenty seconds to get it sounding right.

RELIABILITY: Heck, it might be more long-lasting than me. I'm not 100% sure it isn't.

ANY OTHER COMPLAINTS: I'm sure the grounded AC plug, as opposed to the wall-wart, will come to haunt me in my foreseeable future, but until then, I'll just have to deal with it. No big.

But, the unit has no LEDs. Not too implausible - LEDs weren't really economically viable until the late '70s - but annoying nonetheless. I'm a lot less forgiving of this.

And it reeks of stale cigarette smoke. But, the guy who runs the shop is a smoker, and he's cool, so I'm not complaining.

CONCLUSIONS: It's an EHX pedal, so it's large, built decently, and runs well. It's the Volvo of the effects world.

RickenBoogie · #7 07-09-2008, 06:41 PM

A perfect read. I feel like I'm not really wasting my time.

KarateKid25 · #8 07-10-2008, 12:42 AM

+1 to the other comments. Nice thread / review / story time thingo

SpankyPants · #9 07-10-2008, 01:59 AM

This is probably the best review I've ever read.

Gold star.

baalroo · #10 07-10-2008, 08:19 AM

tl:dr

j/k

lol

*** is with me and the abbr you ask?

just trying to even out the tread...

PWNED!!!

OptimusPrime · #11 07-10-2008, 08:28 AM

Dude, I really wish I could talk like you.

baalroo · #12 07-10-2008, 08:32 AM

Impressive huh? I can PM you some net-slang resources if you'd like.

andvari7 · #13 08-02-2008, 02:39 PM

Okay, I know I promised clips earlier, but I wouldn't even have thought to do so without my Q-Tron. Now that I have both my Q-Tron and my Bassballs in working condition (and quite fun, too), I'll have the clips - there are six - encoded, uploaded to PutFile, and linked to this topic in the coming minutes.

And I think I might have included the synth-bass-laden intro to the 1998 Blue Meanies cover of the 1989 Operation Ivy song "Yellin' In My Ear." Please forgive me - I hate using covers in my demos.

Mr. Pickles · #14 08-02-2008, 02:58 PM

Vintage EHX = Boxy, but good!

Speaking of Volvo's, does anyone know what the little SOND light is for on an early 80's wagon? It's near the check engine light and it has the Lambda symbol on it.

Should I be worried?

andvari7 · #15 08-02-2008, 03:06 PM

<ominous Dr. Weird intro music>GENTLEMEN...BEHOLD!<\ominous Dr. Weird intro music>

http://media.putfile.com/demeffects
http://media.putfile.com/demeffects2
http://media.putfile.com/demeffects3
http://media.putfile.com/demeffects4
http://media.putfile.com/demeffects5
http://media.putfile.com/demgroove

Again, I apologize for the sucking. That's an unavoidable condition I have, called "horrible bass playing."

andvari7 · #16 08-02-2008, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Pickles

Vintage EHX = Boxy, but good!

Speaking of Volvo's, does anyone know what the little SOND light is for on an early 80's wagon? It's near the check engine light and it has the Lambda symbol on it.

Should I be worried?

It apparently has something to do with a mechanical timer, found in older Volvos. It had to be reset manually. Since I know next to nothing about actually FIXING cars, and since the most foreign car I've ever owned is my Volkswagen, I am the last person to provide a solution.

From what I've been able to find, it's not a sign of catastrophic damage, but it's kind of annoying.

Chris V. · #17 08-02-2008, 03:10 PM

This thread gives, and gives, and gives. Almost like a Duracell...

andvari7 · #18 08-02-2008, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris V.

This thread gives, and gives, and gives. Almost like a Duracell...

I do work in the critical power industry, so it's a bit of a habit.

Mr. Pickles · #19 08-03-2008, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andvari7

It apparently has something to do with a mechanical timer, found in older Volvos. It had to be reset manually. Since I know next to nothing about actually FIXING cars, and since the most foreign car I've ever owned is my Volkswagen, I am the last person to provide a solution.

From what I've been able to find, it's not a sign of catastrophic damage, but it's kind of annoying.

No one has ever been able to answer that question for me, not even my mechanic. It's been such a mystery (never googled it, as I didn't want to ruin the suspense) that my friends and I created a secret organization:
SOND- the Society of Organized Nonsense and Disorder. We even gave out code names, but I'm not at liberty to disclose those...

Thanks for the samples BTW!

andvari7 · #20 08-03-2008, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Pickles

No one has ever been able to answer that question for me, not even my mechanic. It's been such a mystery (never googled it, as I didn't want to ruin the suspense) that my friends and I created a secret organization:
SOND- the Society of Organized Nonsense and Disorder. We even gave out code names, but I'm not at liberty to disclose those...

Thanks for the samples BTW!

Not a problem; I drive a Volkswagen, so Volvo code names would be utterly useless to me.

Word of advice: just because you've watched every episode from the first ten seasons of "Top Gear," does not make you mechanically inclined. When will I ever learn?