OK, Patrick, not sure about the joke but... here ya go!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCuDmCGUk9w
The S&P parts are a little tricky but with a little effort you shouldn't have too much trouble. If you want I can make a SoundCloud of them - but I gotta be able to play them cleanly myself first!

I'm not the greatest S&P guy out there...
My music notation skills are quite rusty too, so trust what you hear and not what I've written. I did my best so it should be pretty close. I tried to make each measure add up to four...
If you have any questions or comments feel free...
Enjoy!
