Am I asking too much?

Foxworthy925 · #1 10-30-2007, 06:19 PM

I sure don't think so.

Here's the deal. Some of you probably saw/remember my other thread in this section a few weeks ago about productive band practices. Well, now I have a new beef to bitch about. OH, and as a little background, us three in this band are all sophmores in highschool, and very good friends(not just band mates).

Started last summer. Summer rolled around, we're all outa school, and we're supposed to get a lot of work (band wise) done. Simple enough, right? wrong. I was gone for two weeks in the beginning, and our drummer was gone for about a week in the late summer. Besides that, we could have practiced any time. Somehow, we didn't practice for almost the entire summer. During the school year, we established that tuesday was the best day for practice, since the drummer raced on the weekends, and the drummer's dad had band practice (he's a drummer also and uses the set) on wednsday. There was about a month during summer where every tuesday was unpracticable. Well, we could have done it on any other day besides that, but both the guitarist and drummer never even seemed like they cared. I was spending that time, pulling my hair out in anticipation and annoyance, but was too stupid to say how I felt because I didn't want to be annoying.

Anyways, after roughly one month without any practicing together, enough was enough and I had a big talk with the other two guys of this band. I told them how I felt, what I wanted to accomplish as a band, and everything that was bugging me. They in turn, said how they felt about everything. We had a great conversation, and worked out everything. We basically came to a mutual aggreement of how serious we were about this band working out. That was all at the very begining of this school year, around two or three months ago.

Well, now it's seemingly back to where we were before the huge band discussion. We haven't practiced for well over a month. basically, when we don't practice on tuesday, it's rescheduled to thursday. Every time this month so far, they've had excuses as to why we can't practice. About 90% of the time, it's that our guitarist has too much homework. One tuesday, the guitarist, drummer, and a couple of our friends decided to hang out after school because the guitarist can't get a ride home until 4:30. 6pm rolls around, and the drummer says we can't practice because "we" waited too long. Uh huh, you mean, YOU two waited too long.

Lets look at all our priorities. Our drummer has been karting forever, has a future in racing, and I know that racing IS his life. I always knew that racing would always be his number one priority. K, that's fine. Our guitarist has caused us to not have practice for a month now, because he always has too much homework. It's his school work, so I can have sympathy. it just really annoys me, because I've had way way way more homework than him this entire year, I'm in harder classes than him, and I never use that as an excuse to not practice. I've had too much homework to have band practice numerous times, but I've always made practicing my priority because of my commitment to this. Every day that we're "supposed" to have practice, I've been on my toes, ready to go at any moment. I wish I could say the same about them. Take just today for example. Apparently our guitard has too much homework again. If he just did tonights work, we could practice no problem (block schedule, btw). But apparently, he's doing both nights work so that he can have no homework tomorrow so he can hang out on halloween. WOW; now I see where your priorities really are.
It really pisses me off- they have no idea of what making a comittment means.

I'm fed up. The way everything is going and everything's been, I can not see any way that things are going to change. I wanted to only be in this one band so I can focus all of my attention, and original compositions to this one group. It all seems like a giant waste of my time now. I'm going to see if I can join this death metal band composed of some other guys from my school who're all juniors- all amazing musicians. What do you all think about this situation, or think I should do?

Foxworthy925 · #2 10-30-2007, 06:22 PM

Oh, sorry for the long post, btw. I just really need to get this off my chest.

Funkus Barfucal · #3 10-30-2007, 06:37 PM

Go check out the other band. It seems like you have the time to do it. If your current band wants to practice, let them come to you.

Go chase your dreams and don't let anybody stand in your way.

Just my .002 worth.

funkydanbass · #4 10-30-2007, 06:47 PM

My experience is that you can't change people. I have been in bands with committment discrepancies etc etc. I've been in working corporate/cover bands with people so lazy they couldn't or wouldn't even learn there parts. They'd come to rehersal knowing that I would have transcribed and learnt the bassline as well as well as the harmony. They'd be like, 'What are you playing the chorus dan?' ...'What the whole thing?'

You get the picture... I tryed in vane to change them, motivate them, talk etc etc... Nothing helped. People have to want to be there, do the work etc etc. You'll gain nothing but a receding hairline from taking on other peoples work load etc.

Saetia · #5 10-30-2007, 06:47 PM

You should try to find other people to play with. I say this because obviously the other members of your current project arn't able or willing to invest as much time and effort as you are.

Just make sure to tell them and not leave them hanging.

Also, be curtiouse about it as well. I remember what it's like to be a sophmore in highschool and how immature people can act. Not saying you'd be the one acting immature, but even the slightest waver into unkind words can trigger vast reactions from them. Plus you guys are good friends outside of music, so keep it that way.

Peace

-Benny

basslyon · #6 10-30-2007, 06:58 PM

i had the same problem, we would jam saturday noonish offically but the drummer would decide just not to go to bed til 7 and my guitarists often went to hard on friday night (you'll discover how hard you can go some time after school). any way each week i would wake up all amped to jam then some one would cancel and 9/10 times it was the drummer. plus he has that much enthusiasm that i doubt he's ever practiced. but what can you do? These are your mates. any way i went off and found a side project while the lead guitarist went of to work on an oil rig for 2 months. While he's gone both the guitarists really got some hunger in them.

Now as far as the drummer knows, we haven't jammed since the lead guy went away and he's been back for 3 weeks. we did try to organise one but again, little drummer boy bailed at the last minute.

But our new drummer is just that much better....and old mate of mine who is seriously the best drummer i've ever played with.

just don't tell the old guy.

so now i have 2 bands!!!

Zappstorius · #7 10-30-2007, 08:36 PM

Don't waste your life waiting around for people. If you like music as much as it sounds like, form your own group...a "side project" if you will. Take control of the band, write the music (if you're capable of that), be "band leader". If things change with your current group, you can always play with them as well, but don;t let anyone keep you from playing music...ever.

Depth_Charge · #8 10-31-2007, 01:44 AM

Yes you are asking too much - from the wrong people at least.

Good luck resolving it.

invader3k · #9 10-31-2007, 07:41 AM

Quit being the one to schedule practice and find other people to play with. If these guys care at all they'll eventually call you up to schedule practice. If they don't, then you'll know the band wasn't going to work anyway, because they obviously have no commitment to your band.

In high school, you should probably focus on playing with as many people as possible, and not worry about getting any one band off the ground. Chances are that when you guys graduate, you'll be going to different colleges, careers, moving, etc.

ThunderLizard · #10 10-31-2007, 08:02 AM

Fox-
I don't think you'll be able to get anyone in the band to make a bigger commitment....and you'll need everyone in the band to make that bigger commitment.
This is why I play in three bands. I need several groups to keep me as busy as I want to be. No hard feelings to any of my bandmates, we just have a different approach.
Don't frustrate yourself...go find some other folks who want to play as much as you do.
And have some fun.
Good Luck To You!

chunkiat · #11 11-02-2007, 12:57 AM

My band faced the same problem too, we even have once we jammed with only 2 member which is me (bassist) and my leader (Vocal & guitarist). We don't really get chance to jam as a full band.

Our problem consist of
- no drummer (already solved)
- lead guitarist have too much commitment that he couldn't turn up for jamming
- previous member giving stupid reason to skip jamming

so ya, we are still struggling now to try to jam as a full band.

sobie18 · #12 11-02-2007, 02:45 AM

Wait until you discover women and they will take all of your time away....

Vic Winters · #13 11-02-2007, 03:08 AM

Go for the other band. There are people who want to play, and there are people who don't. I worked 60 hours between 2 jobs this summer, but I still made time for our scheduled band practices, but we didn't have any after the beginning of July. They were all too busy recovering from hangovers or going wake boarding or sleeping in.