Analyze This...

[Vakmere]

I found the following on Philly Craigs today. Well intended as it seems I saw a several holes in it that didnt add up. I left out the persons name out of respect. The requirements for one seem odd especially the 'have your own instrument' line and 'compensation'. Actually, if you're planing a world tour, why would you ask these questions? See how many items you can find that could have been worded differently to spark an interest from pro musicians who would do a 'tour'. Also try to guess the age of this poster. Should be fun...

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Hello musicians, how are you fellows? I am A****S*****, and I'll go streight to the point. I am building a World Tour, and need the following line up for the band:
Bass Player; Drum Player; Guitar Player; Guitar Player

It's great if you can sing in tune.
YOU MUST BE ABLE TO LEARN NEW MUSIC BY EAR! AND FAST!
YOU MUST BE DRUG-FREE AND PROFESSIONAL!
YOU MUST HAVE INTEGRITY!
YOU MUST HAVE OWN INSTRUMENT!
YOU MUST BE SERIOUS ABOUT MUSIC!

Compensation: You'll work based on a percentage of each and every show, but we will discuss that later, once I am still working on those subjects.

A little bit about me:
Independent musician, I will be releasing a double record this year. The tour repertory will have between 20 and 40 songs. Alternative Rock, somehow experimental.
I am from Brazil, and have plans to take this band with me to many places, if it works out.

[ClassicRock55]

The add screams somewhere from 18-20, but I give him points for knowing that in order to play a world tour, you have to own instruments. 20 is is.

[mjwhit]

Im 18 with very little experience gigging and there is no way i would even think about contacting that guy. Does he think he's going to snag a bunch of pro musicians?

You'd be a bit gutted if it turns out in a few years that he's mega famous...

P.S- how do you "build" a World Tour? Lego bricks?

[Stumbo]

Compensation: You'll work based on a percentage of each and every show, but we will discuss that later, once I am still working on those subjects.

Yeah, show up for rehearsal for months, get everything worked out and then talk about compensation! Yeah, right!

A percentage of what? The gross revenue, gross profit, net profit? And if there's no profit...you make nothing. Who does the accounting? The guy takes home the gross to "cover expenses" and the musicians get zip.

Who puts up all the money for the expenses before the first gig?

Sounds like a version of those foreign scams from Africa and such.

[Mo'Phat]

So often 'World Tour' conjures up visions of stadiums and arenas in Japan and Italy.

Any schmo can book Elks Lodges and American Legion halls anywhere in the world, hitchhike there, and starve. But, you are touring the world.

[RustyAxe]

Sure I'll take a shot at it ... all very much tongue in cheek to be sure.

Hello musicians, how are you fellows? I am A****S*****, and I'll go streight to the point. I am building a World Tour, and need the following line up for the band:
Bass Player; Drum Player; Guitar Player; Guitar Player

"I don't have a band. I'd like to, though. I've dreamed about being a rock star for YEARS ... since I was thirteen, and now that I'm almost out of high school ... (but I have to pass that damn ESL class)."

It's great if you can sing in tune.

"But I'll take whatever you got"

YOU MUST BE ABLE TO LEARN NEW MUSIC BY EAR! AND FAST!

"I don't read or write standard notation or tab. You'll have to figure what the chords, rhythms and all are ... but I have the melody in my head"

YOU MUST BE DRUG-FREE AND PROFESSIONAL!
YOU MUST HAVE INTEGRITY!

"I don't want anyone to be more screwed up, less experienced or more dishonest than I am"

YOU MUST HAVE OWN INSTRUMENT!

"I have a Radio Shack mic and a Passport PA. I hope you have your own stuff, too."

YOU MUST BE SERIOUS ABOUT MUSIC!

"I'm dead serious about it. We must suffer deprivation if we are really artists, so I don't want to hear complaints about sleeping under picnic tables in the park or dumpster diving for our dinner."

Compensation: You'll work based on a percentage of each and every show, but we will discuss that later, once I am still working on those subjects.

"I don't have anything booked yet. I'm not even sure that I will make any money, and since you get paid after I get my cut (because I'm the leader, after all) I have no clue what will be left for you. Nor am I sure how cheap you'll work".

A little bit about me:
Independent musician, I will be releasing a double record this year. The tour repertory will have between 20 and 40 songs. Alternative Rock, somehow experimental.
I am from Brazil, and have plans to take this band with me to many places, if it works out.

"Let me make this clear ... this is MY project, not OUR project. So you will be my employee, even though I haven't agreed to pay you"

[ColdSteelRain]

OK, here's how I read the ad:

I am building a World Tour -- you'll get to travel to countries you've never heard of, and play in venues where there may or may not be electricity. You'll need a passport and current immunizations.

need the following line up for the band: -- I've never played with live musicians before/none of my musician friends will work with me.

YOU MUST BE ABLE TO LEARN NEW MUSIC BY EAR! AND FAST! -- I don't write anything down, and am likely to change the arrangement once we're on stage.

YOU MUST BE DRUG-FREE AND PROFESSIONAL! -- I don't share my drugs.

YOU MUST HAVE INTEGRITY! -- don't steal my music, which isn't copyrighted because I don't write anything down.

YOU MUST BE SERIOUS ABOUT MUSIC! -- don't have a family, GF/BF, or day job.

Compensation -- you'll be paid in a currency no one has heard of, and which can't be exchanged for dollars, pesos, eruos, or anything useful once we move on to the next stop in the world tour.


All that said (and it is said in fun), I do give the guy props for decent English and having the guts to chase his dream.

[IanStephenson]

Originally Posted by Stumbo

Yeah, show up for rehearsal for months, get everything worked out and then talk about compensation! Yeah, right!

If someone actually has bookings, then 5 minutes before the show starts on the first night of a world tour, with 20,000 people out front all paid to see a show (with the "leaders" name on the tickets) is a GREAT time to negotiate your contract. You could start at $20,000 per man, per show guarenteed for the whole tour, with a $200,000 cancellation/termination fee, or we don't go on stage.

On the other hand this guys a looser... Real guys negotiate a rate BEFORE it's too late to replace you.

[Joe Nerve]

Big plus +1 on what rustyaxe said. Great response.