Another crazy audition............

DWBass · #1 01-16-2009, 02:01 PM

Hoo boy, where do I find these folks??!!

Ok, here goes...........A fellow bassist I knows contacts me to tell me he's no longer going to be playing with this particular band (family issues) and asks if I'd be interested. I ask him to describe the band and all seemed ok. So I tell him to give them my info. They contact me and setup an 'audition'. I go by the drummers crib and only he and the (smokin' hot) female singer is there. The 2 keys and guitarist can't make it. No problem. They talked me to death for hours in between jamming on some stuff. The drummer is really good. We funked out on some old school funk! The singer, however, seems to be on some delusional trip thinking she can sing! Did you hear me? She thinks she can sing! American Idol at it's worst! Simon woulda had a field day with this one! Let me tell you, this girl is tone deaf, IMHO! She sings off key and in no particular key! And these cats are actually banking gigs on this girl!! Anyway, they REALLY liked me and want me to be in the band! Uh huh!

Stinsok · #2 01-16-2009, 02:04 PM

Can her looks overcome bad singing?

DWBass · #3 01-16-2009, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stinsok

Can her looks overcome bad singing?

While she is gorgeous, I don't think so. What makes it so bad, she billing herself as this crazy good experienced singer as opposed to some amateur trying to just sing in a band. I'd post her Myspace page but someone will probably contact her and clown her and it may come back to me. I'll see if I can post a recording though. Be prepared for a good laugh!

StyleOverShow · #4 01-16-2009, 02:16 PM

I don't know anymore. Just auditioned with Cody Lepow (myspace.com/codylepow) and it was like Ted Nugent meets Neil Young. Old rocker, thinks he is Tom Petty in his simplicity, but just lacks inspiration and the lyrics aren't all that.

It's tough out there. I took the gig but I'm not excited about the band/music at all. At least she is something to look at!

-richard

DudeistMonk · #5 01-16-2009, 02:33 PM

Quote:

While she is gorgeous, I don't think so. What makes it so bad, she billing herself as this crazy good experienced singer as opposed to some amateur trying to just sing in a band. I'd post her Myspace page but someone will probably contact her and clown her and it may come back to me. I'll see if I can post a recording though. Be prepared for a good laugh!

I'm patiently awaiting my laugh

2x4strgkramers · #6 01-16-2009, 02:40 PM

Get her a pole and a headset and have her lipsync.

Stinsok · #7 01-16-2009, 02:42 PM

I was in a musical slump and advertised locally for pickup gigs as a drummer. I got a call from this girl and 10 seconds in to the call the red flags started popping up. I am a sucker for punishment so I listened. Some of the stuff she said--

"Hi, I am ______ and I am an up and coming country singer."

" I am putting together a band for a Nashville Showcase, my band quit on me at the last minute. The show is in a week."

"I have the other players, I just need a drummer. My cousin (or some kin) is a musical genious. He can play any style, he's great."

I look her up on the internet and see that she is overweight and older than I thought (I ain't pretty either but it's cruel industry.) I listen to the tracks she wanted to learn. Her vocals were adequate at best.

At the "rehearsal" it was me, a local bassist (who really is very good,) and this 16/17 year guy with an amplifier that was basically a toy. My Roland Micro Cube would eat it for lunch. He whips out a Zoom pedal, plugs in and starts playing Death Metal licks. The sound the pedal made was the only sound he used (all of the stuff was country.) The bassist asked if that thing had any clean sounds and he replied "naw man, it's just a really cool distortion."

Some other things she said:

"Did you see my award for Independent Artist of the Year?"

"I want you to keep repeating the kickoff for about 4 or 5 minutes to whip the crowd into a frenzy."

"Oh, you will also be backing a label mate of mine, he is going to do about 45 minutes after my show." ***? I told her we would barely be able to do her stuff on short notice, much less his!

I love a challenge, but I had to get out of there. It was like a hidden camera show!

DudeistMonk · #8 01-16-2009, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Get her a pole and a headset and have her lipsync.

Wait she's Ashley Simpson?

2x4strgkramers · #9 01-16-2009, 02:44 PM

I can't make a ugly girl pretty but I sure can make a pretty girl look like she can sing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DudeistMonk

Wait she's Ashley Simpson?

2x4strgkramers · #10 01-16-2009, 02:56 PM

I think we need pictures "Preferably full nudes" to determine the hotness to talent ratio before going any further.

Joe Nerve · #11 01-16-2009, 03:11 PM

Hot girls make more money than talented guys. In the music industry anyhow.

scottbass · #12 01-16-2009, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stinsok

I was in a musical slump and advertised locally for pickup gigs as a drummer. I got a call from this girl and 10 seconds in to the call the red flags started popping up. I am a sucker for punishment so I listened. Some of the stuff she said--

"Hi, I am ______ and I am an up and coming country singer."

" I am putting together a band for a Nashville Showcase, my band quit on me at the last minute. The show is in a week."

"I have the other players, I just need a drummer. My cousin (or some kin) is a musical genious. He can play any style, he's great."

I look her up on the internet and see that she is overweight and older than I thought (I ain't pretty either but it's cruel industry.) I listen to the tracks she wanted to learn. Her vocals were adequate at best.

At the "rehearsal" it was me, a local bassist (who really is very good,) and this 16/17 year guy with an amplifier that was basically a toy. My Roland Micro Cube would eat it for lunch. He whips out a Zoom pedal, plugs in and starts playing Death Metal licks. The sound the pedal made was the only sound he used (all of the stuff was country.) The bassist asked if that thing had any clean sounds and he replied "naw man, it's just a really cool distortion."

Some other things she said:

"Did you see my award for Independent Artist of the Year?"

"I want you to keep repeating the kickoff for about 4 or 5 minutes to whip the crowd into a frenzy."

"Oh, you will also be backing a label mate of mine, he is going to do about 45 minutes after my show." ***? I told her we would barely be able to do her stuff on short notice, much less his!

I love a challenge, but I had to get out of there. It was like a hidden camera show!

I have had the exact same experience with "up and coming Nashville artists." In my case, this older (like late 40's, maybe?) female wannabe won a "contest" sponsored by a "major Nashville record company." She went to Nashville and recorded a sampler CD containing 4 of her songs and 4 more from each of two other "performers". They were all backed by the "studio band". Then she returned home as a "Nashville recording artist" and talked real big and hired some musicians for her "touring band". I played with her "touring band" for about 4 months. In that time, all she got for gigs were three appearances at benefits. The drummer and I (who are old seasoned guys) used to ask each other "how the heck did she get a recording contract?" She had about the same level of talent as your run-of-the-mill karaoke participant. She somehow lined up "sponsors" who paid us. After the whole thing imploded I did some research. It turns out the "major Nashville record company" was a vanity publisher. They held "contests" all over the US and awarded the "winners" with "Nashville recording contracts". The performers actually paid a lot out-of-pocket for "production costs", which they could earn back by selling about 1,000 copies of their CD at $15 each. Of course, this would be "no problem at all" once they listed the CD on CDbaby, hired a band, lined up sponsors, "launched a tour", sold CD's at their shows, etc., etc.

Two years later I have quit being angry at this woman. I now just feel sorry for her for letting that unscrupulous "record company" make her a victim of her own dreams.

Puarija · #13 01-16-2009, 03:27 PM

The solution: Save a few of her hottest pics from myspace, upload them to photobucket, and post the link here.

Jake

DWBass · #14 01-16-2009, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Puarija

The solution: Save a few of her hottest pics from myspace, upload them to photobucket, and post the link here.

Jake

Nope. Someone may recognize her and report back. I got soundbytes coming up.

T-Bird · #15 01-16-2009, 04:05 PM

Hi.

While I'm not a pro in either singing or playing, it took me a hell of a time to learn how to sing to the bass. With a guitar, it's easy as walking.

Now the chick had to sing two, not one octave higher than what You were playing, not an easy task if you asked me. Not for quite a few "pro-singers" even. Give her a go with the guitarist and the keys before splitting. I have a hunch that she was taking clues from them, not from the bass or drums

.

Regards
Sam

DWBass · #16 01-16-2009, 04:06 PM

* Sorry, links removed.

DWBass · #17 01-16-2009, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T-Bird

Hi.

While I'm not a pro in either singing or playing, it took me a hell of a time to learn how to sing to the bass. With a guitar, it's easy as walking.

Now the chick had to sing two, not one octave higher than what You were playing, not an easy task if you asked me. Not for quite a few "pro-singers" even. Give her a go with the guitarist and the keys before splitting. I have a hunch that she was taking clues from them, not from the bass or drums

.

Regards
Sam

Nope. She's taking the lead on this. I've already declined their invitation to join. Believe me, that project ain't goin' nowhere! Check the soundbytes.

midnightsin · #18 01-16-2009, 04:18 PM

Oh wow DW, I feel for you. And you are right, Simon would have a field day with her.

crack-boom · #19 01-16-2009, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DWBass

http://www.esnips.com/doc/d4a7fa9b-5...8ddd/stay-away

http://www.esnips.com/doc/e6f0e5ca-0...d8/she-aint-me

Have at it!

doesnt sound as bad as i thought going by the description. could use a vocal tutor, but i've hear much much worse lol

2x4strgkramers · #20 01-16-2009, 04:18 PM

With good production in the studio she could be sonicaly fixed. However I see what your saying. I still think you should ghost track her. give her a headset and put a pole on the stage. It'll work great.