Another vent / possible problems with new band thread

[Matthew Bryson]

I just started playing with a band - last night was our 3rd practice and I was getting some weird vibes. I went to the 1st practice (audition) not knowing how to play any of their songs, I didn't even know the names of their songs, I only knew that I liked the music and the one guy that I'd met was a nice guy. So I started learning their songs at that first audition / practice. So, really, maybe last night was only my second real rehearsal. I'm still very much fighting the learning curve and would hope that they'd understand that. I think only one of them does.

I was sensing some frustration from a couple of the guys about the fact that I didn't have all of their songs down yet… after having only met them a week ago, and having 2 practices… some of the tunes we hadn't even gone over as a group yet, and the worst part is - they have some songs recorded which I've been practicing at home, none of which are getting called in rehearsal… most of what we worked on at rehearsal last night was the ones that I don't know yet - ones that I don't have a recording of. The ones that I have nailed we didn't even play, one of them we didn't do the last practice either. They aren't even asking me which songs I know and which ones I don't - hell they aren't even telling me what we're playing next - they just start off a song and expect me to jump in.

We'll see how it goes from here - I think that after last night I actually have a good handle on all of their songs and that I'll be ready to play them all on Friday - Unless I get booted before Friday's rehearsal, which is a real possibility. After working on one of the unfamiliar songs, and watching the drummer's scowls and upset looks the whole time, I think I know what he was talking about when he said to the lead guitarist "I think we might have to go against Joe on this one…". Joe (name changed) is the singer / rhythm guitarist / band leader and is my number one supporter so far - he's willing to give me a chance to work it out and says he is seeing progress. The other guys are scowling and giving me bad looks a lot. There was one part of one song that we had talked about in the previous rehearsal, that I still didn't have down (we'd gone over 5 songs - I came back with 4 of them nailed, of course we only played 2 of those 4…) …well it didn't go unnoticed that "we went over this last time". Then the scowling guitarist cranked the bass and volume so much on his guitar that it was clear to me that he was trying to cover me up down in the low end. (so I'm sure he didn't hear the next song, which I played fine) Then he had to take a break, which resulted in he and the singer having a secret chat in the other room.

Now that I think about it, when I got there - the drummers bass guitar was plugged into the amp I use for practice. I made small talk with him about his bass and commented on the chunky neck. It's an OLP 5 string. (with a broken nut) He came back with "well, yeah, but it's got those low note that you really need…." I politely asked if he minded if I put his bass in it's case and set it out in the other room. He didn't respond, so I just did it. I suppose they were trying to tell me something with all of that?

What's it all mean? Not a damn thing. I'm not taking any of the subtle little things that I'm empathetic enough to sense personally. I'm pretending like I'm not sensing any displeasure from any of them. I'm going to practice the songs and I'm going to rehearsal on Friday… and I'm going to blow their doors off with my four string. If they give me the boot before Friday, it will be their loss. If they don't like the lines I play on Friday - well, that's up to them, but it would still be their loss.

[baba]

Good attitude. Just do your best and if it isn't the right fit, it isn't the right fit. Don't get discouraged, it usually takes a LONG time to find a compatible and good band.

[baba]

Also....

all of the rehearsals are not wasted time. They are experience playing with others and that can not be had by sitting in your room jamming with a CD. The more you play live off the cuff, the better you'll get at it.

[Lazylion]

Originally Posted by Matthew Bryson

they have some songs recorded which I've been practicing at home, none of which are getting called in rehearsal… most of what we worked on at rehearsal last night was the ones that I don't know yet - ones that I don't have a recording of. The ones that I have nailed we didn't even play, one of them we didn't do the last practice either. They aren't even asking me which songs I know and which ones I don't - hell they aren't even telling me what we're playing next - they just start off a song and expect me to jump in.
After working on one of the unfamiliar songs, and watching the drummer's scowls and upset looks the whole time, I think I know what he was talking about...
The other guys are scowling and giving me bad looks a lot. There was one part of one song that we had talked about in the previous rehearsal, that I still didn't have down (we'd gone over 5 songs - I came back with 4 of them nailed, of course we only played 2 of those 4…) …well it didn't go unnoticed that "we went over this last time". Then the scowling guitarist cranked the bass and volume so much on his guitar that it was clear to me that he was trying to cover me up down in the low end. (so I'm sure he didn't hear the next song, which I played fine) Then he had to take a break, which resulted in he and the singer having a secret chat in the other room.

At least you have the leader on your side!
Here's what you do. Make a list of the tunes you have had recordings of. Bring it to practice. Show it to them and calmly say "I've worked on these. Let's try them." If that doesn't work, lose them. They are idiots.

[ZoomBoy]

How old are these guys? Geez, they are expecting alot out of you after only a week with only part of the material. I'd cut and run. Unless where you live is a bandless wasteland I'd say see ya later alligator.

Jeff

[DaveDeVille]

Originally Posted by baba

Good attitude. Just do your best and if it isn't the right fit, it isn't the right fit.
Don't get discouraged, it usually takes a LONG time to find a compatible and good band.

a big ...+ 1 .
... if they fire you , it's their loss .

sounds to me like you've been doing your homework ,
stick with it if you can stand the drama , drop it if it's too heavy .

ya' never know , they may have another agenda ....
maybe you just don't look like their ideal bass player ... ... just kidding .

[DaveDeVille]

Originally Posted by Lazylion

Make a list of the tunes you have had recordings of. Bring it to practice.
Show it to them and calmly say "I've worked on these. Let's try them."
If that doesn't work, lose them. They are idiots.

... yeah , what he said .

[Matthew Bryson]

Thanks for the support guys. This is what makes Talk Bass so great!

I'll stick it out with these guys as long as they'll have me. I need the experience, and I am gaining experience, so this band is a worthwhile cause. I will keep my attitude positive, and completely avoid reading between the lines or picking up on any hints - if somebody has something to say to me they have to say it, otherwise I'm just going to smile and play bass!

[DaftCat]

I'm gonna go against the grain here....

Consider having a little meeting...

-Ask them why they cannot consider rehearsing the tunes you feel confident you learned?
-Ask them why they are giving you dirty looks if you don't have the bass down to their level of satisfaction?
-Ask them point blank: Do you want a band member or just a player who doesn't need to think?

Of course, ask these questions nicely but do NOT dodge the issue. You will either get constructive answers or attitude.

You can decide from there if you wish to carry on with this band.

My .02 worth,

[Sundogue]

Two bands I've joined in the last few years needed me to replace their current bass player and still keep their current gigs.

So, with both bands, I had to learn about 60 songs in less than two weeks (this last band I learned them all in 8 days). But, they didn't expect me to do that...I just did it anyway to...
1) Prove it to myself that I could do it.
2) So they knew I was serious.
3) To make sure we kept the gigs that were already booked (I needed the money).

But any band that has you practice songs and then never goes over them with you, and just plays new ones you haven't had a chance to work on, are either not worth playing with or they are just testing you. They could just be seeing if you can handle it.

I've played in bands where we've rehearsed a full night's worth of material, only to cut half the set list and replace them with songs I never played before right before (or during) the gig. Fun...and not fun all at the same time.

Just do what you can. You can't control what they do. However it works out, it's time well spent because at the very least you are a better bass player for it.

[seventai]

well one thing that may be a cool idea is to just get a cassette recorder and find a good place to sit it and record practices.

this will give you at least a crappy recording to take home to work on lines with and may also show these guys that while you may not be up to speed yet your taking measures to get up to speed as fast as you can.

you could also bring it up to all of them before or after practice that way you can just get it off your chest and out in the open. if the singer that likes you is there then maybe you can garner some support from him.

i assume these are original songs that these guys wrote, so maybe you could ask them if they have any tips or ideas on what may bring you up to speed faster on these songs.

another idea is to maybe ask the guitar player if you could sit down with him one on one outside of practice to jamm together and go over the songs piece by piece. it's a lot easier to rehearse a song part by part with only the two of you than it is to do it with the whole band.

[Christopher]

These guys sound like absolute tools.

It's their obligation to tell you -- as the newest member of the band -- what to practice, what they will rehearse, and how soon they expect you to get up to speed. If they start to gripe behind your back about your perceived inability to meet their expectations, it's solely because they've FAILED to set any.

I don't know all the facts, but it seems to me like you were hired by the rhythm guitarist over the objections of the rest of the band. Their passive-aggressive animosity towards you may have nothing to do at all with you or your playing. They may simply be misdirecting their anger at the rhythm dude towards you.

Regardless, I wouldn't just muddle through and hope for the best. At the very least, you should mention (in a positive and friendly way) that (a) you've been doing your best based on what they've told you, and have learned a significant amount of their material in a very short time; (b) you can demonstrate your best abilities on the songs you were, in fact, ask to learn; and (c) you want the band to sound its best, and so, if they have any comments or criticisms about your playing, they should bring them up directly with you, rather than have "secret meetings" and give you dirty looks.

[Pruitt]

Originally Posted by Christopher

It's their obligation to tell you -- as the newest member of the band -- what to practice, what they will rehearse, and how soon they expect you to get up to speed. If they start to gripe behind your back about your perceived inability to meet their expectations, it's solely because they've FAILED to set any.

+1 I'd say that says it all.

Best of luck and have fun!!!

[RyansDad]

Originally Posted by DaftCat

I'm gonna go against the grain here....

Consider having a little meeting...

-Ask them why they cannot consider rehearsing the tunes you feel confident you learned?
-Ask them why they are giving you dirty looks if you don't have the bass down to their level of satisfaction?
-Ask them point blank: Do you want a band member or just a player who doesn't need to think?

Of course, ask these questions nicely but do NOT dodge the issue. You will either get constructive answers or attitude.

You can decide from there if you wish to carry on with this band.

My .02 worth,

Nothing against what he said - he makes valid points.

However, my two cents is this: just keep doing what you are doing and show up at practice. This (I am assuming) isn't a job, it's just a hobby. You shouldn't have to sit them down and tell them anything or force them to tell you their gripes. No offense to DaftCat, but these people should act like adults and tell you if they have a problem, not glare at you. You're part of a band, not a reality TV show. If they want to discuss a concern they have, fine, sit down and listen to their complaints. If their complaints are what you suspect, just lay out what you told us. They will accept it or not.

If they just want you out (with or without discussion), fine, so be it. Just find another band and have a good laugh about these guys later. You know what you can do and what you can't. If that isn't enough for them, too bad. You can leave there secure in the knowledge that they are probably not going to find anyone who meets their demands and the band will fold.

Good luck and keep playing!

[DaftCat]

Originally Posted by RyansDad

No offense to DaftCat, but these people should act like adults and tell you if they have a problem, not glare at you.

None taken.

I realize they should act like adults. The reason I posted my advice is because the line of questions I suggested WILL tell Matthew Bryson what he needs to know.

From his post, they do sounds like idiots but all I have is Matthew's side... No offense, Matthew.

Take care and good luck,

[tZer]

Yeah - hang in there. I know how it can feel being the new guy and picking up on that wiggy vibe. Do your best - and only you know what that is... and if they go another way feel good in the fact that you gave it your all. Some things are meant to be, other things should be meant to be, and still other things that DO happen should never have happened in the first place. uh...

Also know that when you are new your 'vibe receptors' are on 'hyper receive'. You may be absolutely correct in reading the unspoken vibe, but you could also be a little 'extra sensitive'. Stick to the facts, man... Get the songs as right as you can - put your vehicle in gear and give it the gas! Try really hard to keep a positive attitude and to generate a good vibe and hopefully it will all go well for you.

[MakiSupaStar]

Originally Posted by DaftCat

Of course, ask these questions nicely but do NOT dodge the issue. You will either get constructive answers or attitude.

You can decide from there if you wish to carry on with this band.

Well put. Air it out. Say look guys. Is there something I'm missing here? Confront the issue. Right now all you have to go on are "looks" and "vibes". That's nothing concrete. Call them out. Yo drummer. What do you mean by that? When do you want to start gigging? What exactly are you looking for in a bass player? Also ask them if there is a way to get copies of their new material. If not, ask to sit down one on one with the guitarist (outside of reherseal) so he can go over the song with you. If they aren't willing to be upfront and willing to bend a little in their expectations, then bail. Life's too short.