Asked to go back into a band, should i do it or not?

Asa Samuel · #1 12-01-2007, 10:25 AM

Heres the story, earlier this year i joined a band with my best mate (lead) and two people he knew, i was the second bass player they had had after the other decided he didn't like the music they played.

It was going quite well but then i was suddenly kicked out of the band by the lead singer, aparantly backed by the drummer.

The reason they gave was that i was too young and it would be hard to get gigs, but the guitarist is barely a year older than me.

The real reason as far as me and my mate are concerned was that the singer is a controll freak (he wouldn't let anyone else write any lyrics for songs even if they came up with them) and that he only wanted people he knew in the band.

So i got kicked out and they got a replacement.

Last thursday my mate said they were having trouble with bassists, the guy who replaced me moved to glasgow uni without telling them and they have two people who arent really bothered with the band so they dont have a reliable bassist and he asked me if i would re-join.

I was pretty depressed when i got kicked out and lied to about why i was being kicked out as it was the first band i was ever in so there might be some hard feelings towards the singer and mabey the drummer.

Aparrently the singer has backed off a bit and isnt as controlling anymore but he is still a bit of a stereotypical ego-controlled singer.

I need help on deciding.

Bass Junkie.

Messiah25 · #2 12-01-2007, 10:31 AM

i wouldn't...
I hate re-joining bands, if there was problems before there is going to be problem later on.
but thats my opinion

Busker · #3 12-01-2007, 10:33 AM

I wouldn't go back. They made their bed....

fenderhutz · #4 12-01-2007, 10:42 AM

+1 all of the responses here.

If you go back you will have to lay down the law and it's never a good situation.

Asa Samuel · #5 12-01-2007, 10:46 AM

I should also mention that i dont see any other opportunities to get into a band for a long time and this is about as good a chance of at least playing with other people as i'm gonna get untill i get into college.

Akami · #6 12-01-2007, 10:48 AM

It doesn't sound good on the face of it, but then some of life's biggest challenges turn out to be some of the biggest growth stages.

Not just trying to play devils advocate, but trying to think of what I would actually do and I think that I would want an in depth band meeting to understand fully why I was dumped in the first place, and what reassurances there would be of it not happening again.

Most important question of all; how did you like playing with them compared to any of your other options?

Bass Mule · #7 12-01-2007, 11:02 AM

I'm going to play devil's advocate here and say do it. What's it going to hurt? Are you busy with other stuff right now? If not, go for it.

Asa Samuel · #8 12-01-2007, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Akami

Most important question of all; how did you like playing with them compared to any of your other options?

i did enjoy playing with them, it just annoyed me that i couldn't write much stuff.

OtterOnBass · #9 12-01-2007, 11:11 AM

Tell them you enjoyed playing with them, but you didn't like the way that you couldn't contribute to writing and the way they gave you a bunch of crap when they let you go. Then say you'd be willing to join them again if they were straight with you and listened to your creative ideas.

Akami · #10 12-01-2007, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OtterOnBass

Tell them you enjoyed playing with them, but you didn't like the way that you couldn't contribute to writing and the way they gave you a bunch of crap when they let you go. Then say you'd be willing to join them again if they were straight with you and listened to your creative ideas.

+1

dcr · #11 12-01-2007, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OtterOnBass

Tell them you enjoyed playing with them, but you didn't like the way that you couldn't contribute to writing and the way they gave you a bunch of crap when they let you go. Then say you'd be willing to join them again if they were straight with you and listened to your creative ideas.

Same opinion here. But are you prepared to split first if the same old crap comes up?

dcr

tpa · #12 12-01-2007, 11:24 AM

If you like to play music with these guys, go back. Clear the air and try to communicate with the others. Try to handle differences in opinions right away so they don't turn into conflicts. If it doesn't turn of well you can always make your own choice to leave. If singers sometimes appear kind of touchy, remember that they have no instrument to hide behind and to do their best the musical platform they stand on have to be firm and dependable - in their own view.

scottice · #13 12-01-2007, 11:30 AM

^^^^ What he said.

seanm · #14 12-01-2007, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bass Junkie

I should also mention that i dont see any other opportunities to get into a band for a long time and this is about as good a chance of at least playing with other people as i'm gonna get untill i get into college.

Then I would at least try a couple of practices. Maybe in the interim they have learned that it is important to keep good people.

At this point you really have nothing to loose and possibly much to gain.

Ibanezzer · #15 12-01-2007, 05:20 PM

go back, play and have fun. Lifes boring playing at home all the time.

Terrik · #16 12-01-2007, 05:28 PM

I would say no...

it's never good the second time.. especially when there's hard feelings

Stumpy · #17 12-01-2007, 05:36 PM

Made their bed...

But, you could get the ones (your mate) that you like to join you and then get the missing parts from auditions

AveryHorton · #18 12-01-2007, 05:59 PM

Either you want to play with them or you don't.

My rules are that life is too short to:

1) Play music I don't want to play

2) Play with people I don't want to play with.

If a band wants to play DOOBIE BROTHERS or HOOTIE, I am NOT playing in that band.

QORC · #19 12-03-2007, 07:20 AM

so they kicked you out, without warning, for a flimsy reason because they found that elusive "bigger, better deal" and now they want you back?

LOL

I'd send a note back something like this.

"What a surprise to hear from you and even a bigger shock to hear that you want me back. I've given it long and hard deliberation and came to the conclusion that life is too short to deal with a-holes like you. I wouldn't rejoin your band if I were hungry and it was the last job in town. Remember that the next time you screw someone over. I'd like to say good luck to you, but I can't bring myself to do it."

That to me would feel awfully satisfying.

Remember, friend. you are a BASSIST, and unless you completely suck, there will ALWAYS be opportunities to play elsewhere. With better musicians and better people. Never EVER take crap off anyone or get treated like a doormat.

what's puzzling in your story is this -- where was your "best mate" (the other lead) in all of this? He stayed on the sidelines? Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.

mjolnir · #20 12-03-2007, 07:24 AM

Give it a shot. Maybe it'll work out, maybe it won't, but at least you can say you tried.